The Bluestar Diaries

[Cloud]

Chapter 26, Part 2 a.k.a This is not only stupid here, but I'm sure it's been used in other places (where it is also stupid and illogical)

Wow that's long. Anyway.

Cue Rosetail encounter (a moment of silence for poor murdered Rosetail) with Blue Sue. Rosetail accuses Blue Sue of looking "moony" over a tom.

HEAD MEET DESK

I have several problems with this.

a) it makes no sense.

b) Blue Sue herself denies it - we don't even get any romantic thoughts from her. Which we shouldn't anyway, but because these two fall in love ( for some godforsaken reason) she might have 'em. Not that it would make sense. Anyway.

c) Why DOES she fall in love with Oakheart anyway? They never knew each other. They just met randomly like once...maybe twice, if memory serves. And one of those times was why she became a mom. Then they never met again. The point is that this is not enough time to build up a relationship of that caliber, let alone a relationship at all. The whole romance is just shoved in there for Blue Sue angst and so a half-Clan cat can be RiverClan's leader. (Blue Sue's only surviving kid, Mistystar of RiverClan.)

Forbidden romance is generally idiotic by nature, but this stands out.

Then the topic turns to Whitekit, otherwise known as Genetic Freak #42. (soft idiot role included)

There's a little more conversation, and the two go back to camp, Rosey having informed Blue Sue that her sister is getting all bothered sitting in the nursery being bored. Henceforth, Blue Sue takes her sister (who, despite having wanted to go out, fusses unnecessarily over her son) out. End chapter.

Next up is a death scene! Whoo!

[Ten]

"a) it makes no sense."
--
Maybe moony is a British term?


"Why DOES she fall in love with Oakheart anyway?"
--
Maybe she doesn't. She just falls in lust?


"They never knew each other. They just met randomly like once...maybe twice, if memory serves."
--
This is why forbidden loves often seem implausible to me. Either they wouldn't have much chance to meet and develop even a friendship, or their main encounters with each other = fighting and trying to kill each other.


"Forbidden romance is generally idiotic by nature, but this stands out."
--
Forbidden romance in warriors, or all forbidden romance in general?
I'm not familiar with many examples. TLK 2, Warriors, Hairspray, and... that might be it.

[Cloud]

Chapter 27 a.k.a In Which is There is Angst

This chapter starts out relatively normally. Blue Sue and her restless Sue-ster go out into the forest. Blue Sue leads them toward the river. Gee, I wonder why. Apparently because it's quiet and "out of the way of hunting patrols." Sure. You just keep talking, you lusty furball. I'm onto you. Or I would be if I didn't know this would turn out anyway.

Snowfur pounces on her and they playfight. There's this funny bit:

"With a playful hiss, Snowfur lunged at her, giving her a shove that sent her tumbling against a bramble heavy with blackberries. The fruit trembled as Bluefur found her paws."

What? Either Bluefur was momentarily turned intangible, or those blackberries are immune to cats. Berries are of a soft and easily broken constitution - it doesn't take much to split the skin and have the juice ooze out. So why didn't that happen to Bluey? Maybe the blackberries are just that epic. If so I want some. I would throw them at stuff to watch them bounce off because I'm easily entertained.

Anyway!

..oh this is priceless. No. Really.

Blue Sue fights back (playfully) and then this classic little scene happens:

"Never!" (Say Never!) Bluefur yowled. She pushed with her hind paws and rolled Snowfur off, tumbling her onto the branches so the berries stained her fur."

So the berries didn't affect Bluefur but messed up Snowy's pelt?

There's something wrong with that.

I know, I know, I'm a nitpicker. Still. Why? Maybe the Erins think purple and white go better together than purple and blue. I prefer both. Very pretty in watercolor pictures. Or maybe it's just her mighty Sue Powers Of Outstanding Niftiness (SPOON). Powerful crap that is. It also has nothing to do with a certain scribe or the March Hare.

They wander down to the riverbank. Snowfur huffs and puffs (and hopefully blows no houses down) and moans that she's out of practice. What? Lady, I know you've been lying around raising your kid, but it's not like you've been eating Kentucky fried chicken topped off with chocolate mousse pies all day and you feel like the ground's a lot closer to your stomach than it was. At least not to my knowledge.

The topic turns to RiverClan and whether they'll invade again. For a moment I thought of Invader Zim and Grr and pictured them as green aliens and funny robots. Eheheh.

Snowfur insults them and Blue Sue gets all "peace is the answer, yo." The discussion continues with Blue Sue being all fair and open-minded (why?) and Snowfur teasingly asking her if she wants to take a swim. Blue Sue has to stop herself from staggering into the water. Why? Is there treasure down there? Oo! I want it! Mine! I mean...-cough-

Seriously though.

Blue Sue tells how she drove off Oakheart, but says he wasn't arrogant. Snowfur accuses her of liking him. The conversation wanders into the warrior code and how Thrushpelt likes Bluefur and I start to wonder if the purple streaks in Snowfur's fur look artistic or abstract.

"Nice!" Bluefur scoffed. "Besides..." She glared at Snowfur. "I'm not looking for a mate. I don't want to end up in the nursery suckling kits."

Ooh. You just got burned, Snowypants. -snaps fingers into gun motions-

Snowy thunders off, Bluey follows. Snowy smells ShadowClan.

Hi ShadowClan! How are ya? Can you injure them for me? Please? I'll give you a cookie! Okay, two cookies. Fine. Have it your way.

Blah blah, they hear ShadowClanners arguing about prey they caught on Thunder territory, they attack them.

Snowfur dies getting hit by a car while chasing Shadow kitties off.

I'm sure you're all deeply shocked and saddened. -waves sarcasm flag-

Let us analyze this:
1. Snowfur should've been able to tell a car was coming.
2. She should have, as a capable warrior, been able to move out of the way. Cats can move pretty darn fast when they want to.
3. Blue Sue should have warned her. Which she didn't. Despite having working hearing and eyes.

I really don't have much more to say here.

[Ten]

"You just keep talking, you lusty furball."
"With a playful hiss, Snowfur lunged at her, giving her a shove that sent her tumbling against a bramble heavy with blackberries."
--
Yeesh, Cloud, I thought you were hinting at incest or something.


"Blue Sue tells how she drove off Oakheart, but says he wasn't arrogant."
--
folks who laze around and sleep in enemy territory = arrogant.


"Snowfur dies getting hit by a car while chasing Shadow kitties off.
I'm sure you're all deeply shocked and saddened."
--
The way you wrote it all sudden like that, it did surprise me.
As in, "wait, she what? o.o She's dead? Oh."

[Cloud]

"Yeesh, Cloud, I thought you were hinting at incest or something."

Lolwhat. No. I was referring to her plot contrived, illogical RiverClan lover.

"folks who laze around and sleep in enemy territory = arrogant."

Exactly, and the irony mounts when you remember that's exactly what she thought earlier. It mounts further because there's absolutely no reason for her to defend him.

"The way you wrote it all sudden like that, it did surprise me.
As in, "wait, she what? o.o She's dead? Oh.""

The fact that that surprises you surprises me. I thought nothing fazed The Extraordinary Numeral. (TEN).

[Cloud]

Chapter 28 a.k.a Aftermath

Blue Sue tries to get her sister to get up, saying walking will make her feel better. News to doctors: If someone has just been hit by a car, don't bother with casts! They can bounce up and do whatever they want, because of course being knocked into by a speeding vehicle makes all your motor functions better than ever!

I know she's in denial, but really. Don't be stupid, Blue Sue.

However, the non-injured sister managed to knock a few brain cells together and drags Snowy away.

"A thin trail of blood rolled from Snowfur's mouth."

Rolled? Really? Slid or dripped or trailed I could understand, but rolled? Is Snowfur's blood solid?

Blue Sue regrets telling her sister about Oakheart, thinking none of this would have happened if Snowy hadn't got angry and run off. She then runs into a ThunderClan patrol and thinks "Everything would be fine now."

I'll let this one pass because she does have a good reason to be in denial, and it's not as ridiculous as the line before.

Adderfang grasps Snowfur's scruff (just as Blue Sue was doing to drag her sister) and she says "Be careful!" Bluefur cautioned, heart lurching. "I think she's hurt."

Think? Woman, if you haven't recognized by now that your sister is heavily (and as we know, mortally) injured, there's something wrong with you. Also, you were doing the exact same thing.

"She felt White-eye's tail drape over her shoulders."

Who has seen a cat do this? Anyone at all? No. Does it make any sense? No. Do the Erins own cats? Yes. Should they know cats don't do this? Yes. Am I rambling? Probably.

"She's hurt. She's just hurt. No matter how many times she repeated the words in her head, her heart had recognized the scent of death on her sister. She knew Snowfur was dead, and with each step the horror grew stronger, until grief threatened to swamp her."

This, at least, is why despite all her Sueness and idiocy, Blue Sue is better than Firefail. She reacts when cats die, she doesn't sit and look bored and go "oh look, my ego. It's even bigger. Yay!".

They get back to camp and Adderfang insists that Bluefur tell Whitekit that his mom is dead. Blue Sue says she can't do it, so White-eye suggests Thistleclaw.

"No!" Bluefur bristled. Thistleclaw would never be gentle enough for news like this. "I'll tell him."

...really? I know she doesn't like him, but really? Snowfur was his MATE and the mother of his SON, for cripes' sakes. Does she really think he's that much of a moron that he'd say "Your mom's dead, kid. Life is tough, so get over it." Thistleclaw is a jerk, but he does care about his family.

So she goes to see Whitekit and brings him outside of the nursery to tell him.

"She felt her heart crack. So much pain."

For a moment there I pictured Blue Sue's heart as a red candy heart getting sliced. Call me cynical.

As breaking horrible news goes, Blue Sue doesn't start off too badly but then delivers this line as Whitekit insists that he can visit StarClan and see his mother again.

"She was going to have to break his heart. "She's dead, Whitekit. You won't see her anymore. You won't smell her or hear her or feel her fur next to yours ever again."

If that's not insensitive I don't know what is. And she calls Thistleclaw harsh.

And then he "...galloped into the clearing, stopping beside his mother's body. "I'll live out here now, with you," he squeaked, pressing his nose into her cold fur."

This is actually well done, but the use of the verb "galloping" to describe a cat, let alone a kit, is ridiculous. Horses gallop. Cats don't gallop, with the possible exception of Firestar as he's a zombie/horse/bat.

Then Thistleclaw appears and yells at Blue Sue, saying it's all her fault. Blue Sue thinks that he's right. Then her father (Stormtail) appears and makes Thistleclaw leave. Blue Sue says to her dad: "I can't lose Snowfur as well as Moonflower. Why did they both have to die?" Stormtail shook his head. "Only StarClan knows that." "Then StarClan is stupid and cruel!"

GASP! GASP! DOUBLE GASP! Blue Sue is right!

Stormtail says life must go on and that she has other Clanmates and that her Clan still depends on her. blue Sue says she doesn't care. Stormtail says he knows she does, and "When she didn't reply, he licked her between the ears and padded away."

I like Stormtail. He has sense, but he also has feelings (His eyes "shone with sorrow" when he popped up) He was one of the few who was properly irritated when Pinestar left.

Blue Sue is sad and angsty, and the chapter ends.

[Ten]

"Rolled? Really? Slid or dripped or trailed I could understand, but rolled? Is Snowfur's blood solid?"
--
You know how liquid sticks to itself and forms a round-ish shape as it drips? I think that's what she was getting at.


"Everything would be fine now."
--
huh. I'm thinking getting hit by a car would be difficult for a medicine cat to do anything about, besides make the dying less painful.


"Probably."
--
Nah.


"Call me cynical."
--
That's just picturing a metaphor as a literal image.
No cynicism involved.


"You won't smell her or hear her or feel her fur next to yours ever again."
--
o.o That doesn't sound gentle.


"Cats don't gallop"
--
The fastest gait I remember my cats ever using is more akin to a canter.
Then again, we have lazy cats.


"Blue Sue is right!"
--
Except StarClan doesn't really know why they died.
That is, they didn't cause it or have a hand in it.
All they know is that everybody dies at some point.


"I like Stormtail."
--
Sounds like an okay guy.

[Cloud]

"You know how liquid sticks to itself and forms a round-ish shape as it drips? I think that's what she was getting at."

I guess that's possible, but "rolled" makes me think her blood has formed itself into a wheel. But that's just my wacky imagination.

"huh. I'm thinking getting hit by a car would be difficult for a medicine cat to do anything about, besides make the dying less painful."

Agreed.

"That's just picturing a metaphor as a literal image.
No cynicism involved."

Well, I meant more along the lines of that it might be considered cynical of me to think of something silly in what's supposed to be a sad and touching moment. Of course, being me, I don't really care about the sad and touching moment. Well, a little, but not a lot, because I don't really care about Blue Sue. I care slightly more about Whitekit, and not much about Snowfur.

"o.o That doesn't sound gentle."

No, no it doesn't. And she calls Thistleclaw harsh. I doubt even he could be even more blunt and tactless than she is here.

"The fastest gait I remember my cats ever using is more akin to a canter.
Then again, we have lazy cats."

xD My cat is pretty lazy, but she can go pretty darn fast when she feels like it. However, I would never describe a cat's motion as galloping. Running or padding or slinking is what I think of when I think of cats moving.

"Except StarClan doesn't really know why they died.
That is, they didn't cause it or have a hand in it.
All they know is that everybody dies at some point."

Exactly, because StarClan is lame and fail and Cloudtail and Mothwing are right.

"Sounds like an okay guy."

Yeah. For this book he's currently my favorite, and just under him is Hawkheart, the cat who killed Moonflower (Moonsue) Blue Sue's mother.

[Cloud]

Chapter 29 a.k.a Boo-Hoo, Blue Sue

"Bluefur hooked the dead mouse absently on her claw and let it fall onto the ground again with a damp plop. She had no appetite. Even the smell of fresh-kill made her queasy."

And of course, the logical solution to this problem is to go get a piece of fresh-kill. /sarcasm flag waving so hard I blew a branch off a tree

"Lying alone at the edge of the clearing, she studied her Clanmates through half-closed eyes. They were sharing tongues before tonight's Gathering, murmuring cheerfully to one another as if Snowfur had never existed, even though it had only been half a moon since her death."

Because, of course, when a main character's sister dies, the whole Clan is supposed to be emo and mope about doing nothing for a moon. That makes perfect sense. /blew off another branch with the wind from the sarcasm flag waving

"Tawnyspots got to his paws and padded from the knot of warriors sharing prey beside the nettle patch. He glanced at the mouse. "That's wasted fresh-kill now" he observed. His tail was twitching. "Sunstar wants you to go to the Gathering.""

Tawnyspots, despite his stupid name, gets a smiley face sticker.

"Bluefur sighed. Well, I don't want to go. It was a long trek and the evening was chilly. And who made you my mentor? I'm a warrior now, remember?"

While I understand not wanting to go because it's cold, her brattiness is hardly reasonable. All he did was point out that she's being an idiot by wasting prey, (which she is) and tell her that Sunstar wants her to go the Gathering. He didn't even decide that she was coming, so why is she annoyed at him? What a brat.

""It's time you started making an effort." Tawnyspots looked firmly at her. "I've spared you from as many border patrols and parties as I can, but all you do is mope around camp. Perhaps if you started to act more like a Clan cat, you might feel better.""

Tawnyspots has been promoted to my favorite character in the book, with Hawkheart as second and Stormtail as third.

He also tells her to spend more time with Whitekit, since she stopped since Snowfur died. I don't care much about Whitekit, but I'm glad he tells it like it is to her.

""What makes you so special that you can get away without doing anything for your Clan?" Tanwyspots demanded. I lost my sister! Bluefur bit back the reply though she wanted to wail it to the darkening sky. Instead she hauled herself to her paws. "Nothing makes me special," she growled. "I'll go to the Gathering if it makes you happy."

Someone talks sense to her and she's an ungrateful jerk. While I'll admit to having been the same way at a period in my life (that I now look back and hate myself for) she's a grown warrior, not a thirteen-year-old idiot like I was. If she's supposed to be so great and mighty, she should be acting better than this. Assuming I don't know what happens, I'm rooting for Tawnyspots as leader.

"Dappletail brushed against Bluefur as she joined her Clanmates. Patchpelt dipped his head to her, and rosetail stood beside her as though she were an apprentice who needed guiding. Bluefur pulled. There was nothing any of her Clanmates could do to ease her pain. She wished they wouldn't bother."

What. The. Noun.

FIRST she was angry because her Clanmates weren't being supportive enough, and NOW she's irritated because they're trying to be kind to her?! GAR she's a beeping beep of a swearword. DIE already.

Featherwhisker comes up to Blue Brat and says her sister's watching over her and Whitekit. Blue Sue "couldn't see what good that would do any of them." She has a point, admittedly. Featherwhisker then says Whitekit will need her help to make the right choices and be a true warrior. For a moment there I thought Featherwhisker was subtly telling Blue Sue to make sure her nephew doesn't do drugs, and then I remembered that it's warriors.

Blah blah, sensitive crap talk about Whitekit's upbringing. They get to the Gathering.

Blue Sue runs into Oakheart. She has no romantic thoughts about him (thank Gar) and is annoyed because he tries to offer his condolences about Snowfur.

Announcements happen. Oakheart makes one and jumps up on the leaders' rock. Blue Sue thinks hateful thoughts about him. Then she talks to Rosetail who approves of him, and is conflicted. I couldn't care less and am wondering how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck had an electric drill.

Blah, Gathering ends. Sunstar does something slightly sensible and tells Blue Sue that she can choose to remember Snowfur by being a mope or by being a good warrior. A point for Sunstar.

Yawn. Some Blue Sue thoughts about the prophecy. Chapter ends.

[Ten]

"Bluefur pulled."
--
I'm confused. What was she pulling?


"For a moment there I thought Featherwhisker was subtly telling Blue Sue to make sure her nephew doesn't do drugs, and then I remembered that it's warriors."
--
Be above the influence.
Don't become a medicine cat.


"and is annoyed because he tries to offer his condolences about Snowfur."
--
...oh no, how horrible?


"wondering how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck had an electric drill."
--
fffahaha.