The Bluestar Diaries

[Cloud]

Because half the time she reminds me of a teenage girl.

Anyway. Me doing journals of Bluestar's Prophecy. Oooo.

I’m just going to skip not do my usual format for this chapter, because if I put in every single line in it that has something wrong with it, I’ll be here for days.

Anyway. So, there was a prologue, which is basically the end of A Dangerous Path, dog pack, Bluestar dies, etc. And of course it’s from her point of view. Then we go back to her being born, which will make anyone with knowledge of cats cringe. Beware, faint of heart. Abandon all hope of intelligence in the Erins ye who enter here.

K. So, apparently the Erins think that cats’ eyes can open ON THE DAY THEY’RE BORN. No. Fail. Any fool who googles it knows that kittens’ eyes open when they’re 9 to 14 days old. So it can take up to TWO WEEKS for them to open, and they DO NOT open before that. It would be highly unnatural if they did. Or are warrior cats Just That Special?

My second big issue is that Bluekit (Bluestar) already freaking knows what a lot of words mean and thinks with the literacy of at least an eight year old kid. SHE’S A DAY OLD, PEOPLE. A DAY. Day old kittens cannot hear, and cannot do so until they’re around three weeks old.

Bluekit shouldn’t even be freaking knowing what the flip cats around her are saying, let alone thinking in words. She must be a supergenius, though even if she were it would be far-fetched.

Oh, and Snowkit, her sister? Is talking already. In full sentences. Go figure.

Bluekit opens her eyes the next day. Whee.

And also, Snowkit is white except for her gray ear tips. Hmmm…

And she’s annoyed at being shown around. She should be grateful anyone’s taking their time to give her a tour.

She also knows a bunch of stuff I wouldn’t think she’d learn all in one day or so of her life.

And the elders in the Clan? Hunt for themselves. While they might have been made elders recently, one would think that at that age they couldn’t really hunt sufficiently enough to feed themselves.

But that’s just logic.

Eh. Lotta tiny things I’m too lazy to quote.

[duckyaisha]

Oh my lord. The lack of research is astounding. How hard is it to read a wikipedia page about cats? Seriously, how much effort does that take? I researched dinosaurs for a month before starting my story and I'm still going to send it to one of my mom's friends who studies dinosaurs to check for accuracy. It's like they don't even try. I know more about cats than them and I just read about them for fun.
I don't understand why Bluekit is so special. In any other book where kits are born, they are mewling and nursing like normal kits. That was the case with Ferncloud's and Daisy's kits, at least. Even in the Erinverse, these kits are special. Also, even if the dumb Erins made kits like human babies, how are they able to talk in full sentences?

[Cloud]

Oh wow. I didn't even think of that, but you're right. But yeah, she is 1. Walking 2. Talking 3.Hearing 4.Seeing 5.Smelling all when she's flipping two days old. She's a mutant. Oh, and apparently Swiftbreeze's kits had their eyes open "from almost the moment they were born." Fail. I guess BlunderClan cats were even more speshul back then.

[Gosh]

Wow, seriously? I mean, it wouldn't be as bad if *all* the cats in the Erinverse did that - I mean, it would still be wrong and everyone would cringe, but if most kits do something at least somewhat similar to normal kittens, Blue(kit) must be something extra wonderful. *barf*

I considered borrowing that one from a friend, but then I thought:

"It has the name Fuzzypelt in it. **** no."

[duckyaisha]

You know, I never really thought of her as a Mary-sue. Now I do.

[Ten]

She doesn't seem like she would be a mary-sue, just due to the nature of her character, and though I wouldn't apply that word to her, she is given more abilities than she should have. Can't remember what her personality was like, though.

[Cloud]

All wise (we're supposed to think; not really, see Ten's ITW journals) and leader-ish but of course she goes insane in the end. Whoo!

[Cloud]

Chapter 2, Part 1

Mmkay. So. Snowkit and Bluekit and Moonflower (their fail-name mother who has her pants down) are all sitting around. Why? Stormtail (the sue sisters’ father) is coming to see them.

I like Stormtail a little bit, actually. We don’t see much of him, but he’s strict, and like a normal cat dad he doesn’t spend oodles of time with his children and concentrates on warrior duties. It’s not much, but hey, I like him more than his mutant kids right now.

“The gorse barrier swished”

…and then I get an image of one of those long bead curtains that swish, except it’s made of gorse. Barriers are not supposed to swish; they’re supposed to stand still and be impenetrable, for heaven’s sake. Swishing spiny plants sounds stupid.

Filler, filler, waiting for Stormtail…ah, here he is. Bearing a squirrel, we see.

““They both have blue eyes like you.””

Says Moonflower the idiot who should know that blue is not often a cat’s permanent eye color.

[Ten]

Jan 24, 2010 21:08:48 GMT -5 Cloud said:

All wise (we're supposed to think; not really, see Ten's ITW journals) and leader-ish but of course she goes insane in the end. Whoo!

Wise and "leader-ish"(?) isn't a personality.


"(their fail-name mother who has her pants down)"
--
Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground.
Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground.
Gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways, lookin' like a fool
with your pants on the ground. Get your pants off the ground.

...I take it that's not what you were alluding to?

[Cloud]

"...I take it that's not what you were alluding to?"

No. XD It's funny, though. But yeah, the name Moonflower gives me a mental image of this really pale girl with her pants down and a rose tattooed on her butt.