The Bluestar Diaries

[Cloud]

Gah, Daisy. Hate her.

Chapter 23 A.K.A Why Tigerstar Hates Kittypets (Supposedly)

Pinestar (who was missing and wanted for the battle) returns.

He breaks it to them all that they suck and he’s forever shunning them. Well, no. But:

““Cats of ThunderClan,” Pinestar began, and his voice echoed around the silent clearing until his words bounced off the trees and rocks. “I can no longer be your leader. From now on, I will leave the Clan and live with housefolk in the Twolegplace.”

Supposedly, this is why Tigerstar (currently Tigerkit) hates kittypets: his dad left the Clan to be one. I’m not really sure if that’s a legitimate reason or not. Who knows. I guess so.

“…the air crackled with tension.”

Snap crackle pop! Clan tension. (to the tune of the Rice Krispies commercial jingle)

“Poppydawn stroked her tail along Sweetpaw’s pelt.”

The tail was promptly ripped off by the Cat Body Language Police and she was fined fifty dollars.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the leaders suggests an addition to the warrior code, that all true leaders scorn the easy life of a kittypet.”

And of course, this comes true. Because Pinestar is Just That Awesome.

“Sunfall stepped forward and touched Pinestar’s flank with the tip of his tail.”

Sunfall’s tail was also forcibly removed by the CBLP (see the case of Poppydawn), and he was smacked with a wet fish as well.

“Murmurs of acceptance rippled through the Clan, though Stormtail and Adderfang kept a stony silence.”

That promptly crashed down and killed them from where it had been hovering in the air.

“Pinestar gently drew it away.”

This line is referring to Tigerkit pouncing on his dad’s tail, and it reminds me of a strange issue I have with the Warriors series. Sometimes kits are referred to as he or she, but sometimes they are called it. I do not understand this. You’d think, being cared for and being members of their own species, kits would never be called “it.” It’s demeaning, at least in human culture, and these cats are supposed to have human qualities. So I really don’t know what’s going on here.

“Goosefeather was staring at him, horror sparking his gaze.”

Which promptly set Sunfall (who he was looking at) on fire and he tragically died without his tail.

“We should have stopped listening to this raddled old fleabag moons ago!”

Der gasp! An intelligent BlunderClanner! I hereby certify Robinwing as one I.Q. point smarter than the average BC (BlunderClanner).

And the chapter ends with Featherwhisker and Sunfall going off to name Sunfall leader at the Moonstone.

[Cloud]

Chapter 24 a.k.a Oo, someone’s being naughty.

Brief Blue Sue angst over Snowfur liking Thistleclaw, then Sunstar and Featherwhisker return. Did I mention they’re brothers? Just in case anyone wanted to know. Everyone is happy he’s approved to be leader.

“When his gaze reached her, cold and burning at the same time, Bluefur blinked and began cheering once more.”

This is Goosefeather, and this line makes me snort. Is ice shooting out of one of his eyes and heat rays our of the other at her? It sounds silly.

“Sunstar signaled with his tail to one of the cats below him.”

Ohnoes! He must have grown another one! Cat Body Language Police, help me!

CBLP: What seems to be the prob…HOLY NUGGETS! THERE IS AN UNAUTHORIZED TAIL ON THAT FELINE! GET HIM!

Sunstar: AIEEEEE! –is dragged off and his tail is torn off again and the base of it singed so it won’t grow again-

Anyway, let’s continue.

“The light gray tabby tom dipped his head.”

Light. Gray. Tabby. Yet he has the name TAWNY-flipping-SPOTS. Was his mom hallucinating when he was born or something? Or the Erins delight in annoying me? I can’t decide.

“Rosepaw, from this moment you will be known as Rosetail.”

Aha. Anyone remember her from Into the Wild? “Brave Rosetail” the elder who DIED when ShadowClan invaded only got a passing mention while Firestu got all the praise. Poor Rosetail, such a sad fate.

“ThunderClan has kits in the nursery”

Mmm, two of whom are unwell.

“and the warriors’ den is full.”

I’m thinking that’s a bad thing, no more room for new ones.

“I’m going to be up there one day,” hissed the young warrior, “addressing the Clan.” As Snowfur purred encouragingly, Bluefur felt the fur lift along her spine. Not if I get there first!”

She sounds like a bratty kid trying to get to the chocolate before another kid so she can have it all. Besides, we haven’t really seen any evidence that Thistleclaw is so bad. Sure, he doesn’t like Blue Sue. Sure, he ticks her off by being her sister’s mate. But he hasn’t actually DONE anything bad, you know.

“Was the whole Clan gossiping about Snowfur and Thistleclaw? Why did her sister have to be so obvious? Prickling with embarrassment, she headed for the ravine.”

Maybe if it were me I’d be embarrassed too, although I think it’s more likely I wouldn’t care and would just ignore it. It’s not me, after all, so why should I be embarrassed? My sister’s welcome to cats
gossiping about her if she’s being dumb and lovey-dovey. It’s almost OOC for her – normally she’d be saying “this is what she deserves for falling in love with him” or something like that.

Crap about Bluefur not finding Thrushpelt’s comment about Thistle and Snow not being able to manage without each other funny and thinking to herself that he can’t and shouldn’t tease her about her sister.
Maybe it’s just me, but I would have laughed at the comment, and said “Yeah, totally. Aren’t they dumb?” buuuut maybe that’s just my disdainful attitude about romance.

They patrol, nothing happens.

Blue Sue gets back and is about to eat when Snowfur begs her to hunt with her, Blue Sue gets PISTACHIOOO (lolwhat? the censors gotcha) but agrees.

Blue Sue complains about how dreamy Snowfur is because of Thistleclaw.

Then comes THIS line, after Blue Sue laments how certain cats are gone, dead, and crazy.

“But there’s always new life.” She mewed softly.”

This is Snowfur, bear in mind.

“Bluefur blinked. “What do you mean?”

“I’m expecting kits.”

This is where the Naughtiness factor comes in. Well, suggested naughtiness, by Bluefur’s next line.

“The ground seemed to dip under Bluefur’s paws. “Already?” she gasped. They were only just warriors! What did Snowfur want to bother with kits for? Snowfur’s eyes clouded. “Aren’t you pleased?” “Of…of course.” Bluefur mumbled. “I just didn’t expect – “ Snowfur cut her off. “Thistleclaw’s overjoyed.” She mewed. “He says the Clan needs new warriors. There are only Lionpaw and Goldenpaw in the apprentices’ den.”

All this seems sort of suggestive, if you know what I mean. I can imagine two girls in college who were just out of high school having a conversation like this. I know, it’s a Clan, and it’s cats, and they always need new warriors, but…eh, idk. Someone tell me if I’m reading too much into this.

Blue Sue angsts about Thistleclaw being the dad and Snowfur’s mate and how her sister will be further away from her and stuffs and how she promises her mother that she’ll be happy, too.

[Ten]

"Supposedly, this is why Tigerstar (currently Tigerkit) hates kittypets: his dad left the Clan to be one. I’m not really sure if that’s a legitimate reason or not. Who knows. I guess so."
--
huh. I... don't get it.
I'm not going "ffahaha that reason is stupid" here,
but neither am I grasping how it would have that effect.
He hates what his father became?
uh... Seems more like he'd be more lax about kittypets
rather than more strict.
As in, "hey, Pops did it, so it's okay."
Cloud, anything about the situation you're leaving out?


"The tail was promptly ripped off by the Cat Body Language Police and she was fined fifty dollars."
--
xD That's what the Erins need. A realism SWAT team.


“Murmurs of acceptance rippled through the Clan, though Stormtail and Adderfang kept a stony silence.”
--
Wait, wait. Murmurs of acceptance?
"Hey, sounds fine with me."
"Yeah, I'm okay with him ditching us." ...?
um. What? Why are they not freaking out? Did I miss something again? Also, are the Erins trying to cast an ominous cloud on Stormtail and Adderfang by singling them out as stony individuals who did not murmur their immediate acceptance?


“Pinestar gently drew it away.”
--
I think she means he drew his tail away.
Tigerkit must not be on the tail anymore, then, because cats do not have strong tail muscles. Try pinning down a cat's tail. They'll get mad because they can't draw it away.


“Goosefeather was staring at him, horror sparking his gaze.”
--
...misread that as "horror sparkling in his gaze".
Never saw horror as the sparky type. This is subjective and all, but for me it's a cold feeling, even though adrenaline is warm.


"And the chapter ends with Featherwhisker and Sunfall going off to name Sunfall leader at the Moonstone."
--
Sunstar? For serious?


"cold and burning at the same time"
--
"How's the weather today?"
"Cold. And burning. At the same time."
"You mean like how when you put your hand in hot water, it feels cold for an instant before you can feel it burning?"
"No. At the same time."


"Light. Gray. Tabby. Yet he has the name TAWNY-flipping-SPOTS."
--
o.o Why does anyone still put faith in the Erins' naming abilities?


"Or the Erins delight in annoying me?"
--
Even though they don't keep notes on their characters, that seems too obvious to miss. It's frustrating that I've seen folks insist that the Erins aren't just keeping this up for the money, that they really do care about writing this stuff.


"Aha. Anyone remember her from Into the Wild?"
--
Yus, I remember Rosetail.
She was a key piece of evidence for Firepaw's lack of emotion.
Can you imagine being murdered with a Clanmate just watching it happen, face blank, not even a flicker of dismay as you lay dying?


"She sounds like a bratty kid trying to get to the chocolate before another kid so she can have it all."
--
She does. Yet we're supposed to root for her.


"Crap about Bluefur not finding Thrushpelt’s comment about Thistle and Snow not being able to manage without each other funny and thinking to herself that he can’t and shouldn’t tease her about her sister."
--
huh?


"Maybe it’s just me,"
--
Do you have a sister?
I know it varies by family and all, but if anyone made a snarky comment about my sister, I wouldn't take it as a personal attack on me. I'm more liable to nod and agree, maybe throw in a few comments of my own, or even go off on a rant about her.


"All this seems sort of suggestive, if you know what I mean."
--
Suggestive of pregnancy. They don't say anything about how she got that way, though, so they're in the clear about that. There was a time, though, were pregnancy itself was considered an inappropriate subject.


"I know, it’s a Clan, and it’s cats, and they always need new warriors, but…eh, idk."
--
hm. On one hand, they need kits for the Clan (I guess?). On the other hand, I would expect a she-cat to get some experience as a full warrior before hitting the nursery, but I've never really thought about that. What I have thought about is how it'd be cute if they had some sort of ceremony or declaration or something between mates before they just go off in the bushes. Call me a prude if you'd like. If you're going to have a social group of cats with culture, traditions, and anthropomorphic brains, then it serves to reason they'd have some sort of mating ceremony like most (all?) human cultures in the world.


"her sister will be further away from her"
--
That's right, folks. Now that she's gonna have kits, health complications require she move to Canada.


I know kits will take up a lot of her time, but sheesh, Bluepaw, if all you ever want to do is talk to your sister 24/7, then you need to make some new friends and get a hobby.

[Cloud]

"huh. I... don't get it.
I'm not going "ffahaha that reason is stupid" here,
but neither am I grasping how it would have that effect.
He hates what his father became?
uh... Seems more like he'd be more lax about kittypets
rather than more strict.
As in, "hey, Pops did it, so it's okay."
Cloud, anything about the situation you're leaving out?"

Nothing significant. I'm unsure too, though one thing I'm confused about is why Tigerkit is so sTaRrrzies (lolwhat? the censors gotcha). Kits generally don't get very angry; they're only kits. I'd think he'd more sad, because a kit probably wouldn't even fully understand what was going on. Maybe he'd be mad when he got older...but yeah, it might've made him more accepting, too. It's an interesting topic.

"xD That's what the Erins need. A realism SWAT team."

I'll captain it. You can be my chief assistant.

"Wait, wait. Murmurs of acceptance?
"Hey, sounds fine with me."
"Yeah, I'm okay with him ditching us." ...?
um. What? Why are they not freaking out? Did I miss something again? Also, are the Erins trying to cast an ominous cloud on Stormtail and Adderfang by singling them out as stony individuals who did not murmur their immediate acceptance?"

I don't know. Thistleclaw is also extremely sTaRrrzies (lolwhat? the censors gotcha), going so far as to flinch away from Pinestar as he passes. Blue Sue gets PISTACHIOOO (lolwhat? the censors gotcha) because she thinks he's acting like being a kittypet can be caught like a disease. If I were a warrior, I'd be saying "Screw you, traitor."

"Sunstar? For serious?"

Mmhmm. Sounds dumb, no?

""How's the weather today?"
"Cold. And burning. At the same time."
"You mean like how when you put your hand in hot water, it feels cold for an instant before you can feel it burning?"
"No. At the same time.""

Lulz. xD

"o.o Why does anyone still put faith in the Erins' naming abilities?"

Blind adoration is a scary thing.

"It's frustrating that I've seen folks insist that the Erins aren't just keeping this up for the money, that they really do care about writing this stuff."

Delusion is a sad thing.

"Can you imagine being murdered with a Clanmate just watching it happen, face blank, not even a flicker of dismay as you lay dying?"

No. When a cat named Nightstream died (killed by a fox) on FoF, my cat Loonstep was witness to it, and he stood frozen by shock as she was murdered, even though she wasn't his Clanmate. Because she was DYING violently, like Rosetail did when she protected the kits. And then he ran, still reeling from shock and paralyzed by fear and disbelief, barely coherent when his Clanmates found him. That's what Firefail's reaction should have been like.

"She does. Yet we're supposed to root for her."

Because she's SPESHULLLLLL. -sarcasm-

"huh?"

It was the comment she was all "he shouldn't be teasing me about my sister" to. the "why is Snowfur so obvious?" reaction one.

"Do you have a sister?"

Nope. No siblings at all. I was just trying to imagine to the best of my ability what it'd be like.

"There was a time, though, were pregnancy itself was considered an inappropriate subject."

I do know that - it was practically controversial back in like the 50's or so, I believe.

"On the other hand, I would expect a she-cat to get some experience as a full warrior before hitting the nursery, but I've never really thought about that. What I have thought about is how it'd be cute if they had some sort of ceremony or declaration or something between mates before they just go off in the bushes. Call me a prude if you'd like. If you're going to have a social group of cats with culture, traditions, and anthropomorphic brains, then it serves to reason they'd have some sort of mating ceremony like most (all?) human cultures in the world."

I definitely agree with you on this; you're not a prude at all. My own mother accuses me of being prudelike on this topic (xD) because I'm adamant that people not do naughty things until they're married, at least. But no one listens to me.

"That's right, folks. Now that she's gonna have kits, health complications require she move to Canada.


I know kits will take up a lot of her time, but sheesh, Bluepaw, if all you ever want to do is talk to your sister 24/7, then you need to make some new friends and get a hobby."

Nope, Bluefur is too much of a brat.

[Cloud]

Chapter 25

Snowfur’s kits are being born.

Scratch that: one kit. He’s white. And named Whitekit.

Yep, this is good old Whitestorm. Lionheart’s backup for the soft idiot role.

Thistleclaw says this hilarious line, though, when Snowfur asks if she can name her son Whitekit.

“Thistleclaw nodded. “We can call him whatever you want.”

I know what he means, but my mind is giving me funny scenarios like Snowfur naming her son Marblekit or Sparklekit or something ridiculous.

“Relieved, Bluefur sat back and watched Whitekit suckle, amazed that he knew what to do already.”

Woman, he’s a kit. What else is he going to do? Tap-dance?

“Look!” Snowfur’s mew work Bluefur the next morning. “He’s opened his eyes already!”

Erinland does not have realistic cats like we have gravity.

Whitekit is encouraged outside by Tigerkit. He’s talking already. And walking.

You fail biology forever, Erins.

Robinwing’s kits – Frostkit and Brindlekit (Frostfur and Brindleface) are born. Stuff happens. It’s boring. We’re informed that the warrior code addition that Pinestar predicted was added.

“The medicine cat stank. His clotted pelt looked like it hadn’t been washed in a moon. And now he was cursing at kits! Had he gone completely mad?”

That’s right, kids: If someone’s stinky and insults children, they’re nuts.

Goosefeather seems inexplicably angry at Tigerkit in particular, shouting “Keep that creature away from me!”

It’s like he knows what he’ll become. Right.

Bear in mind that this is the cat who sent ThunderClan into pointless battle and who no one trusts.

So why is he the one who knows Bluestar will come to power and knows Tigerkit will go over to the Dark Side?

I don’t know. I really don’t know. It makes no sense.

[Ten]

"Kits generally don't get very angry; they're only kits. I'd think he'd more sad, because a kit probably wouldn't even fully understand what was going on."
--
Babies can get plenty mad, but yeah, I doubt he'd get what's happening or blame his father or kittypets for his father's departure. I'd expect him to blame himself.


"I'm adamant that people not do naughty things until they're married, at least."
--
x) I like how you add "at least" as if marriage is a minimum and there's even more sanctification they can go through.

"My wife and I were married before we had our first child."
"Oh yeah? Well we were married to the power of seven and underwent a year of fasting!"


“Relieved, Bluefur sat back and watched Whitekit suckle, amazed that he knew what to do already.”
--
o.o

No, Bluefur, he's just going to sit there and starve.


“He’s opened his eyes already!”
--
They're fueling the eye color names with this.


"It’s like he knows what he’ll become. Right."
--
Destiny is a crappy excuse to avoid real character development and motivations.
Why is Goosefeather afraid of him? Why does Tigerstar do evil things?
Because it's his "destiny".

Another theme shown in the books shows how characters can be a mix of good and evil. Holmes has said she is fascinated by these "shades of gray" in personalities.

Then why don't you fragging write any?

[Cloud]

"Babies can get plenty mad, but yeah, I doubt he'd get what's happening or blame his father or kittypets for his father's departure. I'd expect him to blame himself."

That makes much more sense.

"x) I like how you add "at least" as if marriage is a minimum and there's even more sanctification they can go through.

"My wife and I were married before we had our first child."
"Oh yeah? Well we were married to the power of seven and underwent a year of fasting!""

xD

"o.o

No, Bluefur, he's just going to sit there and starve."

I wonder if she thought the fact that her kits didn't die (oh wait, one of them did) was amazing.

"They're fueling the eye color names with this."

It's a conspiracy. >|

"Destiny is a crappy excuse to avoid real character development and motivations.
Why is Goosefeather afraid of him? Why does Tigerstar do evil things?
Because it's his "destiny".

Another theme shown in the books shows how characters can be a mix of good and evil. Holmes has said she is fascinated by these "shades of gray" in personalities.


Then why don't you fragging write any?"

That's too hard - and it might get less money if the characters were, you know, characters instead of blocks with faces and lines.

[Cloud]

I return!

Chapter 26, Part 1 a.k.a What the swearword?

Snowfur makes a silly complaint about how why does Thistleclaw get to go on patrol while I have to sit in the nursery? Blue Sue says her mate can't give their son milk.

Snowypants is clearly holding the idiot ball.

Blah stuff happens blah. Blue Sue leaves camp.

Then this priceless moment happens: She sees Oakheart (remember him?) asleep. On a rock. In ThunderClan territory.

Excuse me while I go repeatedly bash my head into a hard surface.

Better now.

Cue "WTF?" face.

I can't believe this. I freaking can't believe this. This cat must be dumber than the average sock, with all due respect to the sock (it's okay, Fuzzles, you know I love you). I know Oakheart is arrogant and all, but this is like brain deficiency stupid. No matter how puffed up a cat is, they're not going to just stroll leisurely into another Clan's territory, unless it's a dire emergency. I don't count a nap as a dire emergency, unless RiverClan has suddenly acquired boom boxes that they play obsessively and poor Oakheart had to sneak away just to catch a wink or two.

I doubt this.

To preserve my sanity, from this point forward I shall assume that Oakheart is being yanked by a Plot Leash and has a script shoved in his face and a knife held to his neck. I shall also assume his secret ambition is to kill Blue Sue by pretending to be in love with her, but this is foiled by the Erins forcing him to cooperate.

I feel much better now.

Blue Sue, after a moment of deliberation, attacks him. Instead of, you know, forcing him off and avoiding general injury. She has all rights to do this. But no, always the violent solution first. She's my hero.

"Her pelt sparked with fury"

Which promptly burned through her fur and set her ablaze. She dived into the river to be saved, but drowned. Thus was the prophecy fulfilled.

"I couldn't resist such a sunny spot."

...or the yank of the Plot Leash.

"You couldn't resist?" (said the angry sue)

"Nope, the Plot Leash forced me; I hate the Erins, don't you? I'm actually a better character than this, but I'm forced this way because the authors can't write for beans and they want me to enter into a forbidden and completely illogical relationship with you. I'm only doing this because I have a knife at my throat; seriously, I don't like you at all. That being said, we're going to have children. You'll be such a crap mother that one of them will die. Kapeesh? Kapeesh."

...at least, that's what I want him to say.

[Ten]

"they're not going to just stroll leisurely into another Clan's territory, unless it's a dire emergency."
--
Dunno about you, but in emergencies, I don't stroll leisurely.


"unless RiverClan has suddenly acquired boom boxes that they play obsessively and poor Oakheart had to sneak away just to catch a wink or two."
--
I support this theory.


"Instead of, you know, forcing him off and avoiding general injury."
--
Violence is one method of force.
Irl, though, cats prefer to yowl at and try to intimidate one another before attacking. That way, there's a chance someone might back down first.

[Cloud]

"Dunno about you, but in emergencies, I don't stroll leisurely."

You know what I mean - actually /go/ into another Clan's territory, never mind the pace.

"I support this theory."

...okay. xD

"Violence is one method of force.
Irl, though, cats prefer to yowl at and try to intimidate one another before attacking. That way, there's a chance someone might back down first."

Zactly. If I were her, I would have yowled to wake him up, spat in his face, and and given him a good swipe in the hind quarters, which would easily have him skedaddling with little effort and violence.