The Bluestar Diaries

[Cloud]

"It was, but it could be really entertaining. =D"

I assure you it will be.

Yep, that's what I'm doing once I'm done with Bluestar's Prophecy. Then Sunrise (which I'll be getting back from my cousin in Minnesota shortly) and then Firestar's Quest. FQ is the most boring book in the warriors series ever written, I swear. They walk. And walk. And walk some more. It takes for fricking ever for them to get the gorge, it's ridiculous.

"Where's that chick who's been animating the books? I challenge her to try these scenes."

xD I was thinking along the lines of that myself.

"It's just oversimplification. Common stuff. That tends to be the way things work in children's stories, but it shows up in plenty of other places, too -- a lot of people won't view a character as truly "bad" until they kill someone."

That's stupid. There's plenty of stuff that's really bad that doesn't include murder: scamming, fraud, theft, beating people up, terrorizing children, poisoning a town's water supply, etc.

In fact I consider some of that stuff worse than the murder of a single person.

"The writers must be trying to portray her as childish."

I have no idea what they're doing, at this point. They do so many things that can be taken in various ways (depending on how you look at the characters and series), so I really have no idea what they intend with anything anymore.

[Ten]

"I assure you it will be."
--
Huh? I was talking about Danny Phantom.


"I really have no idea what they intend with anything anymore."
--
Trying to pull the wool over our eyes and hide their true intentions, they are.

[duckyaisha]

It's pretty stupid. But hey, Firestar loses a life in it! YAY! And he's on his last one! DOUBLE YAY!

---

W00T! Kill the stu. I wanna go in there and burn him with fire. Burn. With. Fire. No, never mind. I want to shoot him in the head. And then have one of the soul eater weapons eat his soul. No, they don't deserve to be subjected to that torture.

---
Thistlepaw displays his immense virtues of stupidity and recklessness by FIGHTING. THE. DOG.

Okay, WTF WTF WTF WTF?!?!?! That is a ridiculous fail.


And how does he manage to defeat it? That's impossible! He says it was bigger than a badger. And. He. Beat it. There is so much WTF in that scene that words cannot convey it. Logic just died. I will dig it an adequate grave next to reality, who happened to pass away at the same time. *sobs and throws flowers on both graves*

Ok, training does not make up for size and strength unless it's a crapload of training. Ex, my sister Izzy cannot beat me in a fight even though she has been taking KArate for a while and is a blue belt, because I am bigger and stronger, (but a black belt obviously could) and the same principle applies here. The dog would bite his head off. Running away and surviving would make sense, but he doesn't...he...fights it. *brain dies*


"In their minds, all villains must be physically powerful. Lies, manipulation, verbal abuse, etc.? That just makes a character unpleasant. In order to be a villain, a cat must be a muscle man, because use of brute force is the only way to be evil."

Somebody hasn't been reading their Fullmetal Alchemist. Father is hands down the most evil character in the series (planning to kill a WHOLE COUNTRY for the sake of another philosopher's stone) but he's a withered old man that just sits in a chair. It's his brain and alchemical skill that make him deadly.

"I swear, Meyer and the Erins must've met each other at one point."

That would explain A LOT.

[Cloud]

"Huh? I was talking about Danny Phantom."

I thought you were talking about how Long Shadows was going to be funny. xD

"Trying to pull the wool over our eyes and hide their true intentions, they are."

If this is true, then it's working.

"W00T! Kill the stu. I wanna go in there and burn him with fire. Burn. With. Fire. No, never mind. I want to shoot him in the head. And then have one of the soul eater weapons eat his soul. No, they don't deserve to be subjected to that torture."

I hope he gets killed by fire; that would be so funny.

"And how does he manage to defeat it? That's impossible! He says it was bigger than a badger. And. He. Beat it. There is so much WTF in that scene that words cannot convey it. Logic just died. I will dig it an adequate grave next to reality, who happened to pass away at the same time. *sobs and throws flowers on both graves*"

-sobs with Ducky-

"Ok, training does not make up for size and strength unless it's a crapload of training. Ex, my sister Izzy cannot beat me in a fight even though she has been taking KArate for a while and is a blue belt, because I am bigger and stronger, (but a black belt obviously could) and the same principle applies here. The dog would bite his head off. Running away and surviving would make sense, but he doesn't...he...fights it. *brain dies*"

Exactly.

"That would explain A LOT."

They might as well just put Bella in fur and call Lionpaw a vampire and drop the pretense.

[Ten]

"I swear, Meyer and the Erins must've met each other at one point."

That would explain A LOT.

mm, they don't have to have met each other, or even to have read each other's writing. Bad writing has a tendency to have similarities even without collaboration, you know?

[Cloud]

Chapter 22 A.K.A The Erins Must Have Some Flexible Action Figures

We’re more than halfway through now, yay. Well, we were a while ago, but I just noticed it now.

Candy Cat dies. It is sad.

At least Blue Sue shows grief and loss; it’s more than Firefail ever did, may he die in agony.

Then Blue Sue asks the most ridiculous question ever.

““But Sweetpaw’s not a warrior.” She breathed. “Will she be allowed to join StarClan?”"

Wait. What? This makes NO sense. Does StarClan have a qualifying exam cats have to take before they join that we didn’t know about? Is there a test? Do you have to prove your idiocy and helplessness somehow? Do they discriminate if you’re not a sue/stu? Do you…no, wait, there’s the Dark Forest for “evil” kitties. But I suppose she wouldn’t know about that. Still. It’s a dumb question, especially because StarClan are supposed to be so good kind and wonderful that they let everyone who is nice and fluffy join.

Featherwhisker’s answer isn’t much better.

““Of course,” Featherwhisker mewed. “She was born a Clan cat. StarClan will welcome her.”

While I know that yes, StarClan is just for Clan cats (supposedly, there’s some debate about that topic) this makes me wonder. What about the current ThunderClan, which is infested with kittypets and loners? Will they not go to StarClan? Will Firestar not? Oh please let there be a special hell for Firestar. Please.

“Poppydawn touched the top of his head lightly with her tail.”

Thistleclaw’s mom must not like him much if she’s facing him with her butt.

“If no cat trusted Goosefeather anymore, was Bluefur foolish to believe in his prophecy?”

Yes, yes you are. Even if it is a real one. There is no sane reason WHY it is a real one, but it is a real one.

“She could not bear to see anther cat prepared for their journey to StarClan.”

Yep, that’s an actual typo. Anther. Sounds funny doesn’t it? Although this gets me wondering; is it only after a cat is prepared for their “journey to StarClan” that they go? What else is their spirit doing the rest of the time, hanging around camp? Haunting someone? Scaring prey for the fun of it?

“Sunfall brushed his tail along the flank of the grieving apprentice.”

Bad Sunfall, touching a young she-cat like that.

Blue Sue is very sad, but goes on a patrol anyway. Cue encounter with RiverClan. Well, not yet. The patrol sees some RiverClan cats first and….watches them for a while.

Although why the RiverClan cats are randomly invading their territory I don’t know. They already have Sunningrocks. They’re supposed to be the most well-fed Clan. Are they just stupid?

Before I describe ThunderClan ambushing the patrol, I’d like to pick on the name of the RiverClan deputy, Shellheart.

Shell- is too vague for a prefix. There are pink shells, white shells, brown shells, purple shells , striped shells. Shell- really doesn’t give me an idea of what the cat looks like. When I think shell I think of a periwinkle shell which is a deep bluish black. And swirly. So. Bad prefix.

Cue ambush.

There is stupid fighting that involves rearing and fighting on hind legs. This line is just priceless:


“Together Bluefur and Snowfur dropped to all four paws and, as one, began nipping at him.”

…THIS IS BATTLE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! You. Do. Not. Nip. You BITE you pathetic furry imbeciles who are too stupid to describe in words. ARGH!

Okay. Moving on.

“Thrushpelt rolled past Bluefur’s paws clutching Ottersplash, clawing her spine with his hind legs until the RiverClan warrior yowled for mercy.”

…if he’s clawing her with his hind legs, he must be pressed down on her back gripping her with his front paws (awkward position) while raking his back paws down her sides.

How am I not supposed to take this the wrong way? o.e

Anyway!

“…while he sent the other one flying with a mighty kick from his hind legs.”

So Stormtail is another horse. Wonderful.

“..Bluefur flicked her tail across Snowfur’s ears.”

Return of the plant girls.

And they go home.

[Ten]

"Candy Cat dies. It is sad."
--
Who's Candy Cat? Wait, something was sad? For real?


"Wait. What? This makes NO sense."
--
It's like the Erins are equating a warrior ceremony with a baptism. o.O


"What about the current ThunderClan, which is infested with kittypets and loners? Will they not go to StarClan? Will Firestar not?"
--
fff, they've all "become" Clan cats. At least in some people's eyes.


"Yep, that’s an actual typo. Anther."
--
Good eye, Cloud. I had to reread it several times.


"Haunting someone? Scaring prey for the fun of it?"
--
If dead folk are allowed to do that, my afterlife is gonna be beast.


"...and, as one, began nipping at him."
--
um, is "nipping" a fiercer word in the UK than it is in the US...?
This is like if two guys were in a fist fight and one of them tried to knock the other one unconscious by poking him. ...Okay, that'd be really funny. But so is the way I'm imagining this scene.


"How am I not supposed to take this the wrong way?"
--
I do not know. e.e


"Return of the plant girls."
--
Huh?

[duckyaisha]

I-I just can't even think up a snarky reply anymore. Just, no Erins. No. HAve they ever seen a cat fight? Basically, two cats circle each other and slash at each other's faces and crap. I give up. All 4 of you suck.
If there is a special hell for Firestar, I'll do the dinosaur dance.

[Cloud]

"Who's Candy Cat? Wait, something was sad? For real?"

Sweetpaw. She who is not a warrior. And yes, it actually was a little sad, because she died after days of not being able to eat or sleep from sickness and retching up everything she tried to eat. I feel sympathy for anyone who has a death like that, unless they're Firestar or something. Then I'm jumping up and down with glee and waving a flag with his face in one of those red circles with a line through it. And to quote Ducky: "WOOT! Kill the stu!"

"It's like the Erins are equating a warrior ceremony with a baptism. o.O"

I have no idea. All I know is that this is a ridiculous question. If anything it should've been asked by Firestar back when he first came to the Clan. At least then it would've made sense.

"fff, they've all "become" Clan cats. At least in some people's eyes."

Mmm. I would cite a few of them as Clan cats, but definitely not all of them. Cloudtail? Definitely. He actually has a slight margin of character from what we've seen, even. Daisy? NO. Millie? NO. Purdy? NO.

Also, ThunderClan has gotten ridiculously big. And it's kind of sad that most cats nowadays in it have kittypet ancestry.

"Good eye, Cloud. I had to reread it several times."

Why thank you.

"If dead folk are allowed to do that, my afterlife is gonna be beast."

Ten the poltergeist ohnoes!

"m, is "nipping" a fiercer word in the UK than it is in the US...?
This is like if two guys were in a fist fight and one of them tried to knock the other one unconscious by poking him. ...Okay, that'd be really funny. But so is the way I'm imagining this scene."

-laughed for about two minutes straight then giggled for a while-

"I do not know. e.e"

It's right up there with the infamous line from Eclipse about Jayfeather's stick.

"Huh?"

It says that Blue Sue flicked her tail across her sister's ears. As well as having very good aim (perhaps she was looking back while she did it?) she must have been butt-facing her sister. Or her tail is as long as Goosefeather is crazy.

On a side note, I saw the expression "whisper's length" on the back of Fading Echoes. WTF is that supposed to mean? A whisper is a SOUND, not a physical thing, so...what?

[duckyaisha]

"Mmm. I would cite a few of them as Clan cats, but definitely not all of them. Cloudtail? Definitely. He actually has a slight margin of character from what we've seen, even. Daisy? NO. Millie? NO. Purdy? NO. "

I actually like Cloudtail and his bit of personality. It's more than most cats in Warriors, after all. And Daisy has a....special job within in the Clan.


"It says that Blue Sue flicked her tail across her sister's ears. As well as having very good aim (perhaps she was looking back while she did it?) she must have been butt-facing her sister. Or her tail is as long as Goosefeather is crazy."

I just cannot picture a cat ever doing this. Ever. Why not just have her use her paw or something normal?