The Bluestar Diaries

[duckyaisha]

Wait. What? No. No, no, no, no, no. That sounds completely wrong. From the description, I’m imagining that the RiverClan cats are jumping back paws first on the ice (impossible) and keep stomping up and down on it, still on their back legs. Not only is it ridiculous, it’s stupid.

--x---

I keep picturing them like disobedient donkeys, rearing up on their front legs and slamming their back legs down. With some hee-haws for humor.

---
Of course no one died or is heavily injured. That only happens when it causes the main character angst or is a plot device.

---

I hate battle scenes where no one is heavily injured or dead. YOU. HAVE. CLAWS. When attacking the enemy, the first thought of any creature is to simply attack, not to hurt him just enough so he can limp away. So what, he can't stand up and dies, that's the way life goes. CIRCLE OF FREAKING LIFE THUNDERCLAN. LEARN IT.

[Ten]

"Wait. What?"
--
mm... reading the segment that you posted, it sounds like they were standing (regular, on all-fours) and each cat just... lifted a paw and put it down hard.

Horses stomp. Cats do not.

Their bodies can't focus pressure that way. Just... no.


"No, it really says that."
--
It's figurative language.


"Was the life of a warrior nothing more than an endless circle of fighting in answer to ancient quarrels?"
--
um, except for when there's peace (so no, the fighting isn't endless), what else would it be? Warrior means someone who participates in war, after all. For real, what was she expecting?


"..you thought of something dirty, didn't you?"
--
It says she heard her sister and some other cat in the bushes.
You know what those adult women were thinking.


"While I am flattered, I am wondering what exactly did I nail?"
--
No, Cloud. x)
You said to guess what happened. My guess was correct.


"Yeah, I checked the map, it is across the river."
--
So why would they want it? It has to be difficult to defend from their territory.

[Cloud]

Chapter 14

“opening her mouth to taste the faint tang of newleaf”

Seasons have smells?

“Suddenly the squirrel sprang upward.”

Even though it’s actually appropriate here, it’s still highly overused.

“What would her Clanmates say if she spoke to a kittypet?”

…apparently she did not carry this worry into older age. Oh, and this is Firefail’s father (and Scourge’s) just so everyone knows. Say hello to Jake.

Angry Pinestar comes and takes Bratty away from Jake and the rest of the patrol back to camp.

“Bluepaw watched the mottled warrior”

She’s referring to Leopardfoot, who is in fact black. -.-

“tiptoed out of the den”

She’s going hunting with Snowpaw, and I find this funny because cats are always on tiptoe anyway.

“Suddenly Bluepaw caught a scent.”

I swear I’m going to tally up how many times that adjective has been used when I’m done with these.

They chase after a rabbit, which disappears into a burrow. The chapter ends with them debating whether to go after it or not.

Chapter 15

Bluepaw decides to follow the rabbit down its burrow. Brilliant. /sarcasm

“into the dark, airless earth.”

No air means she shouldn’t be able to breathe. Not breathing means she’s dead.

…welcome to Zombieland. Enjoy your stay.

They come out of the burrow, and:

“She could smell rabbit. She could also smell blood. And the stench of fox.”

Besides the fact that that could’ve easily been one sentence, it’s just silly. It’s like saying, “In my general area, I could detect a nice meal, blood, and a deadly enemy.”

Anyway, the fox (which caught the rabbit) starts chasing them.

“She could hear it slither on leaves”

…furred animals don’t slither. Can the fox shape-shift, perhaps?

“It would never follow them down there!”

Why? It’s just a ravine. And no points if you predict what happens next.

“The fox had jumped down after them!”

Who is surprised? Vote? Show of hands?

I didn’t think so.

Bluepaw decides she can’t let the fox reach camp and turns around to fight it. Exactly what I would do. Except not.

Lightning crackles like rice crispies and a burning branch falls down between her and the fox. The fox runs off.

Then it rains and the fire is put out. How convenient.

Goosefeather takes her to the medicine den.

Goosefeather says that the burning branch means that Bluepaw is fire and she will blaze through the forest. How he gets that, I don’t know. Also, this is sounding familiar.

As well as sounding like Bluepaw will burn down the territory with her pyromania.

I’m sure that’s not what the Erins wanted us to think.

Then he says “But beware! Even the most powerful flames can be quenched by water.”

We all know Bluepaw dies by falling into the gorge river and almost drowning. So Goosefeather has made a Real Prophecy now.

What?

Before he was Mr. Crazypants and now he’s all “Oooo mystical I can tell da FUTUUUREEEE”

So…he can be right…except when he’s wrong, or crazy, or it’s a plot device…wait, why is he their medicine cat again? –finally headdesks from the stupidity of it all-

Bluepaw tells Snowpaw about the prophecy, and Snowpaw says Goosefeather is crazy.

Bluepaw gets annoyed.

Snowpaw tries to discuss Thistlepaw, Bratty walks off. -.-

[Ten]

"Seasons have smells?"
--
New leaves might.


"I swear I’m going to tally up how many times that adjective has been used when I’m done with these."
--
Adverb.


"They chase after a rabbit, which disappears into a burrow. The chapter ends with them debating whether to go after it or not."
--
...into the burrow?


"Bluepaw decides to follow the rabbit down its burrow."
---
...okay.


"Besides the fact that that could’ve easily been one sentence, it’s just silly."
--
The breaking up of the sentence is for dramatic affect, augmented with the backloading. Not as bad as the instance in ItW... something like, he could smell a cat. Maybe from an enemy Clan. And he could smell a squirrel.


"Anyway, the fox (which caught the rabbit) starts chasing them."
--
Why?


"Bluepaw gets annoyed."
---
Hey sis! This crazy hobo says I'm fire and I'm gonna blaze through the forest, which means I'm really important! ...Why are you looking at me like that? Don't you believe him? But I am important!


So how does her seeing fire mean that she is fire?

[Cloud]

Chapter 16, Part 1

“Bluepaw, from this moment you will be known as Bluefur.”

Bratpaw, from this moment you will be known as Blue Sue.

Snowpaw becomes Snowfur, happy snuggly moment blah blah blah.

Leopardfoot is expecting Pinestar’s kits, this is notable because the only one to survive to adulthood is the ever-infamous Tigerstar.

““It’s been moons since anyone attacked my tail.” he’d rasped wistfully.”

This is Muttering Toes (Mumblefoot the elder) here, and I find this odd. He enjoys having his tail attacked by kits? If that’s not weird I don’t know what is. That’d be like me missing preschoolers trying to pinch me or something.

“Suddenly nervous”

About going to the warriors’ den after your vigil? What, do you think everyone’s going to jump out and throw things at you? If only they would.

Blue Sue and her sister go to sleep and when they wake up are chastised for sleeping late by Meteorite. (Sunfall.) Yay!

“Leaf gathering! Bluefur’s heart sank. This was going to be as disappointing as her first day as an apprentice.”

Hasn’t changed much, has she?

But she cheers up when she learns that they’re actually going to be Featherwhisker’s escorts when he goes herb picking. Heaven forbid she have to do something she doesn’t want to.

“She wondered what Featherwhisker had felt when he had been told that he would be spending his time as an apprentice in a medicine den rather than in the sandy hollow.”

…oh gar help me. She’s so ignorant that she thinks cats are forced to be medicine cats, not because they choose to be? How nice that she assumes Featherwhiser was forced to be a healer, it’s like she thinks medicine cats are inferior. And the next line is just classic:

““What a shame you’re not a warrior too.” she commented.”

Yes, it’d be such a shame if he didn’t know to cure his Clanmates and be a full medicine cat once Mr. Crazypants dies. Real smart thinking there Blue Sue.

[Cloud]

"New leaves might."

Guess so.

"Adverb."

Oh whoops. Thanks.

"...into the burrow?"

Mmhm, like the geniuses they aren't.

"Why?"

Because it's a fox, that's its purpose as a plot device, why else would it be there? ._.

I love how deadly animals only show up when it's plot important. /sarcasm

"Hey sis! This crazy hobo says I'm fire and I'm gonna blaze through the forest, which means I'm really important! ...Why are you looking at me like that? Don't you believe him? But I am important!"

How accurate. xD As for your last question, I do not know. It makes no sense to me.

[Ten]

I like the name Bluefur. ;; Why'd you go and ruin it, Bluefur?


"He enjoys having his tail attacked by kits?"
--
mm. Maybe he thinks it's cute.


"That’d be like me missing preschoolers trying to pinch me or something."
--
Depends on if kits are using their claws.


"Leaf gathering!"
--
Wait. Why does she have to gather leaves?
...oh. Herbs.


"…oh gar help me."
--
How would gar do that?


““What a shame you’re not a warrior too.” she commented.”
--
Huh? In the first book, in the first book, Erin Hunter makes it clear that medicine cats command more respect than warriors do and warriors have to obey them. So was Clan culture different in Bluefur's time, or has she been living under a rock? ...okay, besides the den thing.

[Cloud]

It's okay, Ten, there's a far more epic tom on FoF with that name, so. It's not totally ruined.

Gar is the garfish, which May jokingly "worships." I use it in place of God.

And yes, Bluefur has totally been living under a rock. It's all decked out with sparkly sand and everything.

Or this is more Erin inconsistency.

I pick the second one.

[Ten]

"Gar is the garfish, which May jokingly 'worships.' I use it in place of God."
--

Great. She's pulling an Antonio on me.

[Cloud]

Huh?