The Bluestar Diaries

[Cloud]

Chapter 10

It is moons later, and we learn Sunfall is now Bratpaw’s mentor. Great.

“Bluepaw wished Stonepelt were still her mentor. He had never treated her like a mouse-brain.”

…even though she is one. And the case is classic: Bratty missed a squirrel, so Sunfall gives her advice and she thinks that he thinks she’s stupid.

She’s my hero. /sarcasm

““You love everything,” Bluepaw growled…”

She’s talking to Lionpaw (Lionkit) and I don’t see why loving everything is bad.
“He was always cheerful!”

Bratpaw dislikes happy people? Er, cats? Is she a full blown emo now or what?

“Even Snowpaw seemed happier. Traitor. Had she forgotten about Moonflower?”

So basically, Bratty thinks that because her mother died, everyone should be doom and gloom 24/7. Or at least that’s the message I’m getting from her, and it’s not a good one.

“How dare Snowpaw apologize for her?”

Yes, how dare she and try and be sympathetic toward you around other cats? /sarcasm

Good gar, it’s hardly a quarter of way through the book and she sTaRrrzies (lolwhat? the censors gotcha) me off at least once every page. Somebody shoot her. No, on second thought somebody shoot the Erins. –joking- Don’t look at me like that. :c

“Why wasn’t she here?”

She died, lamebrain.

“She felt angry enough to take on a whole family of foxes.”

So not only is she a world-class jerk, she’s stupid and reckless, too. I can totally see how she became leader. /sarcasm

And then Sunfall comes along and saves her from committing suicide (she was staring into a fox den wanting to fight the foxes) and she is ungrateful.

““I wasn’t being reckless!”

Liar.

Blah blah, they talk, Bratty feels better by the end of the chapter. Of course she does. At least Sunfall chews her out properly.

[duckyaisha]

Bluepaw! Stop! Being! A BRAT!!
God, I want to KILL HER.
NOW.

[Cloud]

Chpater 11

“night-frosted snow”

What? Night-frosted snow? That makes no sense. Night can’t frost things. It gives me no clue at all as to what the snow looks like, besides the fact that I know it’s snow.

Unless night’s human persona is a jolly baker who puts literary frosting on snow.

That’s a weird image.

Anyway, they’re at the Gathering.
“Dappletail ran her pelt down the young apprentice’s spine…”

Dapplepelt today will be friendly with a 90% of completely wrong body language.

This is the Cloud network, thank you for listening to our ThunderClan Warrior predictions for today. /sarcasm

“Not a cloud dotted the blood-dark sky…”

Not that blood isn’t dark, but this just doesn’t make sense. This is night. The sky is black, not dark red. It sounds dumb.

“..breath stirred her ear fur.”

…cats don’t have fur on their ears. A few hairs maybe, but not fur. X-cats, anyone?

“blue eyes flashed”

I am now imagining a little imp behind each cat’s eyeball turning a light on and off.

“Talltail’s eyes flashed toward the ThunderClan cats”

His eyeball imps must like the ThunderClanners. No wonder he was so attached to Firestar. It was all his eyeball imps’ fault.

“Cedarstar’s dark gray pelt glowed like polished stone”

I have never seen a cat pelt glowing. Never. Not once. It sounds stupid, like they’re bioluminescent or something.

“as they careered down the hillside”

Again with the use of “careered” as a verb. Maybe it IS actually used in Britain and it’s not just a typo…

“Bluepaw felt Crookedpaw’s tail touch her cheek lightly”

Oh yeah, Crookedstar (then Crookedpaw) turned up. And is now a gray tabby instead of a brown one. And apparently likes Bratty just as much as his brother Oakheart will.

Some tension happens. Yawn. They talk. Bratty declares that she wants to be leader.

I have a better idea. Why don’t we throw her off a cliff? Well…maybe not. She has plenty to suffer through.

“She suddenly realized”

We SUDDENLY read that sentence. It SUDDENLY happened. The Erins SUDDENLY put us all to sleep.

GOONEY BIRD GREENE ISN’T COOL, ERINS. Isn’t. Cool.

“He flicked her flank with his tail”

Getting desiring, are you, Sunfall? No wonder he indulged her when she was a kit…

[Ten]

"What? Night-frosted snow? That makes no sense. Night can’t frost things. It gives me no clue at all as to what the snow looks like, besides the fact that I know it’s snow."
--
mm... theory as to their intended meaning. The night can, in a way, frost things... when the temperature drops enough at later hours for things to ice over. So the snow is iced-over? It sounds weird but possible. I wouldn't know; I don't live up north.


"Dappletail ran her pelt down the young apprentice’s spine…"
--
Does the book say pelt and not tail? For real? The pelt is a large area.


"The sky is black, not dark red."
--
Dried blood is brownish black. It doesn't specify if it's dried, though.


"…cats don’t have fur on their ears."
--
Yes they do. They have fur inside their ears, too. Also, if you try to pet the insides of cats' ears, they flick them and get annoyed.


"Cedarstar’s dark gray pelt glowed like polished stone"
--
She should have written "shone".


"Some tension happens."
--
What?

[Cloud]

"mm... theory as to their intended meaning. The night can, in a way, frost things... when the temperature drops enough at later hours for things to ice over. So the snow is iced-over? It sounds weird but possible. I wouldn't know; I don't live up north."

It is possible...but just frosted would make more sense than night-frosted.

As for the pelt thing, I meant tail. Sorry.

"Dried blood is brownish black. It doesn't specify if it's dried, though."

I know that. However, the traditional image of blood is red, so...wrong color description.

"Yes they do. They have fur inside their ears, too. Also, if you try to pet the insides of cats' ears, they flick them and get annoyed."

Ahh, you're right. I'd forgotten that at that moment. /up late

"She should have written "shone"."

Mmm.

"What?"

Nothing of interest, just Thunder and Wind getting hissy over the battle.

[Cloud]

Chapter 12

““A thaw’s coming,” Speckletail promised.”The wind smells less of ShadowClan pines and more of RiverClan. “

While Cloud is not an experienced ThunderClan warrior, she’d like to know what smells have to do with thaws.

“Goosefeather cared only about himself! Maybe if he cared more about his Clanmates, he wouldn’t have sent them into such a dangerous battle.”

All he’s doing is taking a mouse and eating it, which he has every right to do. One could argue she still hates him because Moonflower died in that battle, but still. It’s a perfectly ordinary thing.

““It wasn’t his fault.” Sunfall’s mew made Bluepaw jump. “What wasn’t?” Sunfall blinked. “Moonflower’s death.” “I never said it was!” “But you think it.””

ThunderClan has proved their Stuness beyond a doubt by having a mind reader.

“Bluepaw looked away, unable to meet his gaze.”

Apparently mind reading only works if the mind reader has visual access to the optic nerve. Much like the Mesmer in Artemis Fowl.

Oh yeah, after Bratty got mind zapped by Meteor (Sunfall), she heard her sister’s voice and another voice behind a bush and went to investigate. She finds Thistlepaw grooming Snowpaw.

Cue angry Bratty.

Angry because she doesn’t like Thistlepaw and thinks he’s arrogant, therefore she doesn’t like that Snowpaw likes him. I am reminded of snobby clique girls in middle school.

Blah blah, they exchange some dialogue. Thistle and Snow exchange a look that starrrzies Bratty off, then Snow and Bratty chat, Thistle having departed for the land of the condemned.

“Snowpaw’s eyes flashed.”

Who here has seen eyes flashing? Anyone? ‘Cause I sure haven’t. Therefore I am apt to blame the Erin eyeball light-flashing imps.

“Bluepaw waited for Thistlepaw to explain that he was a hunter, not a leaf picker, but he leaped to his paws. “Yes, please!”

Tawnyspots (a gray tabby, wrongly named) and his apprentice Rosepaw (also badly named) were going out to gather leaves for the elders’ nests. They wanted Thistlepaw to come and he says yes.

Point for Thistlepaw for that and him not liking Bratty.

“He called to the ShadowClan deputy”

Of course, Sunfall had defected to the enemy’s side and Sparrowpelt knew it.

Typos are such fun, aren’t they?

“Bluepaw watched the patrol leave, felling hollow. No one had invited her. Sunfall had been right. She’d grown so bad-tempered lately, none of her Clanmates wanted to be with her.”

You know what I think? I think it’s because she’s a world-class brat. And yes Bratty, it may shock you that you are not perfect, Bella Bratty. Also, someone please describe felling ‘hollow’ to Cloud. She imagines it as having all your organs and bones removed.

And guess what happens. No, she means it. Guess.

Bella, Bratpaw, gets invited for a training session. Of course, what kind of Sue would she be if she didn’t have instantaneous wish fulfillment?

“suddenly feeling more cheerful.”

The Erins should really be fined for how much they use that word.

““What do you want me to show them?” she asked Swiftbreeze.”

SHOW THEM YO MOVES, FOO. /sarcasm

“The tabby and white warrior tipped her head to one side. “We’ll start with Lionpaw.””

…as a punching bag. /sarcasm Gee, avoiding direct questions? Why is this so familiar? I wonder. /more sarcasm

Ninja kung fu kitty training scene follows. The usual, just think Heather versus Holly except even more stupid.

Blah blah, everyone is great, they go home. ._. I would pay money to see a training session where all mistakes weren’t fixed in two seconds, like real life.

“Back in camp, the leaf-gathering patrol had returned with a pile of leaves as big as a hedgehog.”

Hedgehogs are…small. Ah well, I guess it’s big for cats.

““But she’ll be scarred for life!” Speckletail wailed.”

Lady, your kid is going to most likely get a bunch of scars before they retire/die. Why does she not know this? Why is she acting like a wussy kittypet? It’s just a little ear nick Bratty gave Goldenpaw by accident, anyway.

Also, scarred for life makes me think of Goldenpaw watching health education videos. Now THOSE are scarring.

“Something was wrong.”

…with this book. /sarcasm No, what’s wrong is that:

““Invasion!” Adderfang exploded into camp, his pelt bristling.”

BOOM! The resulting debris caused minor injuries and scrapes for various BlunderClanners. /sarcasm

“Thistlepaw’s eyes were sparkling with excitement”

I am really getting tired of eyes flashing, sparkling, glowing, and shining. It’s like a flipping light show, for crying out loud.

Anyway, RiverClan is invading Sunningrocks and Pinestar is making patrols and plans and such.

“the great slabs of stone turned red by the fiery sun sinking behind them.”

That’s right, folks. The sun just turned dark gray rocks red.

And ThunderClan attacks. –puts on SUPPORT RIVERCLAN t-shirt-

[duckyaisha]

Go Riverclan! Of course, Starclan's going to make Thunderclan win, but WHATEVER
Don't you know that eyes are like fourth of july sparklers?
I think feeling hollow means feeling very depressed, shocked, etc.
Why is TAWNYspots GREY? Last time I checked, Tawny does not equal grey.

[Ten]

"Thunder and Wind getting hissy"
--
Now imagining two cats from Catz 5 taking turns hissing at each other.


" 'Goosefeather cared only about himself! Maybe if he cared more about his Clanmates, he wouldn’t have sent them into such a dangerous battle.'

All he’s doing is taking a mouse and eating it, which he has every right to do."
--
It's creepy that she's thinking hateful things about a cat while watching him eat.


"she heard her sister’s voice and another voice behind a bush and went to investigate."
--
That's a rather... er, bad way to set things up.


"Also, someone please describe felling ‘hollow’ to Cloud."
--
I don't know how to describe it further than that. It's just... hollow. A severe emptiness, an ache that says everything inside you amounts to nothing.


"Bratpaw, gets invited for a training session."
--
Nailed it.


"Of course, what kind of Sue would she be if she didn’t have instantaneous wish fulfillment?"
--
oi, if that were the case she would have to, you know, bear the consequences of her actions.


"Anyway, RiverClan is invading Sunningrocks"
--
Why? Isn't that across the river?
That sounds like the strategic equivalent of invading Europe through Denmark.

[Cloud]

Chapter 13

“They were blazing, lit by the sun and fury.”

Burning eyeballs has got to hurt.

“Crookedpaw. Relief flooded her.”

So she thinks that just because they were all cozy at the Gathering, they’re buddies now? Are you stupid, Bratty, or are you just super naïve?

Luckily, he attacks her.

“Bluepaw froze. He was going to attack!”

No, really? I thought he was going to offer her flowers.

“his eyes flashing”

Are their eyes flipping HEADLIGHTS for heaven’s sake?

“Suddenly a yowl sounded behind her.”

Le gasp. It is Snowpaw to the rescue, SUDDENLY! It must be important! And exiciting! /sarcasm

There is some unrealistic fighting. It is boring. I am wondering why I ever bought this book.

“Bluepaw held her breath and trembled as the last RiverClan warriors paused on the ice at the edge of the river. Smashing down with their hind legs, they cracked the ice.”

Wait. What? No. No, no, no, no, no. That sounds completely wrong. From the description, I’m imagining that the RiverClan cats are jumping back paws first on the ice (impossible) and keep stomping up and down on it, still on their back legs. Not only is it ridiculous, it’s stupid.

“…when she saw her Clanmates. None lay lifeless on the rock.”

Of course no one died or is heavily injured. That only happens when it causes the main character angst or is a plot device.

“As the last rays of sun splashed the rock…”

No, it really says that. Splashed makes me think of water, not sun.

““No major injuries.””

Thank you for proving me right, Thrushpelt.

“Was the life of a warrior nothing more than an endless circle of fighting in answer to ancient quarrels?”

GASP a thought from her. While not particularly intelligent, it at least shows she’s not as violence-loving as Gramps was.

[Cloud]

"Now imagining two cats from Catz 5 taking turns hissing at each other."

xD

"It's creepy that she's thinking hateful things about a cat while watching him eat."

It's like she wants to poison his food or something.

"That's a rather... er, bad way to set things up."

..you thought of something dirty, didn't you? xD

"I don't know how to describe it further than that. It's just... hollow. A severe emptiness, an ache that says everything inside you amounts to nothing."

Ahhh.

"Nailed it."

While I am flattered, I am wondering what exactly did I nail?

"oi, if that were the case she would have to, you know, bear the consequences of her actions."

If only. ._.

"Why? Isn't that across the river?
That sounds like the strategic equivalent of invading Europe through Denmark."

Yeah, I checked the map, it is across the river. Well, I think we know where they rank on the intelligence meter. Low.