Post by Cloud on Nov 21, 2009 22:36:49 GMT -5
Love 'em? Hate 'em? Want to tell me I'm crazy or point something out?
“Yellowfang sniffed at the fresh-kill and jerked backwards. She rubbed her paw against her broad, flat muzzle as the dark shadow of a flea scuttled across her nose.
“I thought these hunting grounds would be safe from fleas!”
Wow.
1. How could fleas (something alive) exist in StarClan, where all the cats are DEAD? Do fleas go there when they die too? Some cat there must really like fleas, don’t know why.
2. She’s just noticing this now? I would think she’d notice right away if she had fleas when she got to StarClan. And she’s been dead for, I dunno, a load of moons? Wow, she’s observant.
““When will you learn to groom yourself?””
I think Yellowfang knows, but hey maybe she went around everywhere looking like Cousin It. But I digress.
““When you stop trying to take care of every cat,””
So Spottedleaf goes all around StarClan healing every flipping cat in her path? As if they needed healing in the first place? I think, being grown-up warriors mostly, they can take care of themselves, especially since they don’t ever have natural disasters or shortages of prey or predators, as far as I know. Ohwait the undead fleas. Got it.
“”Bad luck” she sympathized. “I didn’t think there were any fleas here.”
You mean Bluestar didn’t know StarClan was for bugs, too? Or hasn’t she figured it out by now?
“”They each seem to be figuring out their path at last.””
What path? The nice scenic one or the one beside the highway? And even if they are, they haven’t had boo help from StarClan, so why does StarClan care? They didn’t even make the Uber Special Prophecy, or so we’ve been told.
““These kits were born into ThunderClan! They have been raised as loyal ThunderClan warriors. Why should they feel responsibility towards any other Clan?”
Yeah, and their father was WindClan. I thought they knew that…? Even if the kits don’t know, that doesn’t change the fact that possibly one day they might learn of their heritage and maybe feel some loyalty towards WindClan? Ohwait I forgot that ThunderClan is the Uber Special Clan and only They deserve help from the Three. Right. And Jaypaw isn’t a warrior, he’s a medicine cat dear Bluestar. Even though he wanted to be one, you and your allies bullied him into accepting his speshul destiny.
“Helpless even to protect ourselves”
What the flipping heck do you need protection from? You’re dead, you morons, and you live in paradise, pretty much. And if you all somehow get destroyed oh boo hoo. But I suppose it wouldn’t be dramatic if the invincible Clan of ancestors wasn’t in danger.
Chapter 1 (part 1)
“A cold wind rolling”
Wind can roll? I thought it swooshed or blew or something.
“shabby green”
How can a color be shabby?
“Why any cat would want to stay in the mountains when they could live by the lake.”
Holly honey, all of the Tribe cats except for three haven’t even been to the lake, and even then you think they’re just automatically going to love it and want to stay? And even if all the Tribe cats randomly decided to move to the lake, it would be kind of crowded for all of the other Clans. I don’t think you want that.
““Brook must feel the same way about the mountains as I do about my home.””
Yeah duh she was born there. We all like our homes, I think.
“a hare pelted in terror, throwing up dirt and grass from its long back feet”
So the hare has forepaws on its back feet? I mean generally you use your hands (or forepaws) to throw things. The hare should be kicking up dirt and grass, not throwing it.
““Lionpaw flicked Hollypaw’s flank with his tail.””
That’s some flexible tail there.
““We’ve got to figure out exactly what this prophecy means!””
And how may I ask will you do this? And why? I think you can still fulfill it without knowing every tiny detail there is to know. That’s kind of the point of a prophecy.
““You know Jaypaw and his visions””
What the beeping-? This isn’t a vision it’s a prophecy, you dimwits.
““They sound great, but we have to live in the real world.””
No dear. The real world doesn’t have as many bad characters and mistakes as this one does. You live in Erinland. And I find it difficult to believe you’re being so casual about a prophecy that could change your life.
““We’ll be able to do anything!””
Erm, aren’t you contradicting yourself here Holly? You just said that you needed to figure out exactly what the prophecy meant and now you’re acting like you know. Ah inconsistency, how the Erins adore thee.
““How could you say such a thing?””
Ohnoez, how could Lionpaw ever challenge the all-knowingshiny code? Holly dearest, your grandpa broke it several times and I don’t see you lecturing him. But maybe you don’t know he’s capable of having flaws.
“How would she know what she was supposed to do if it came to a choice between her own safety and her Clan’s”
Wtf…? Holly honey, you can follow the code if you want. No one’s stopping you.
Chapter 1, part 2
“Squirrelflight still saw them as kits.”
How do you know she does? Can you read her mind like your brother? Maybe she just still cares about you, hmmm? You are her supposed daughter, and still her kin.
“kits didn’t have to worry about having more power than their warrior ancestors”
Sure they would. They’re going to have to grow up one day, after all. But I wouldn’t ‘worry’ about it. But that’s just me.
““Why did you get in the way?” Breezepaw! The black WindClan apprentice was shaking out his fur beside her. “I almost had that mouse!” “Sorr-“ She began to apologize, then bristled. Why didn’t the dumb furball look where he was going?””
Hello, he can’t change direction mid-pounce. At least not to my knowledge.
““Of course she is! She’d be even better if she were hunting like we were supposed to, instead of getting in my way.””
Breezepaw gets brownie points.
““ThunderClan cats think they’re so special””
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
“she groped for the word to explain”
This gave me bad thoughts.
“Jaypaw is already making predictions about trouble in other Clans, too.”
Orlynao? Why haven’t we seen this before?
“How could she be scared of her own brother?”
Very, very easily.
Chapter 2
“The skin’s grazed but not bleeding. But you already knew that.”
So why bother saying it?
“some mouse-brained comment about how well he had coped with the unfamiliar territory.”
So you’re going to be durred if she praises you?
““Nice pigeon.” Crowfeather mewed to Lionpaw. Breezepaw stiffened in anger.””
You’re all “ROAR I’m angry” when your dad’s just complimenting someone else? How dare he.
Touchy, touchy, touchy.
“By accepting fresh-kill, they were openly admitting their weakness”
I can see why they might not like to do that, but it’s hardly going to matter to their FRIENDS, who caught it for them in the first place and hardly be ones to attack them.
“Brook bristled. “Wolves.””
Why have we not heard of wolves before in the mountains? Why the heck didn’t one of them finish off Sharptooth, or prey on the Tribe themselves? I mean honestly.
“Imagine having such a sour-tongued warrior (Crowfeather) for a father. I’m glad I’m not Breezepaw! (Crowfeather’s WindClan son)”
I just felt like pointing out that Erins throw a lot of lines like that in the books, about how the kits would just hate it if Crowfeather were their father. Foreshadowing on a plate, anyone?
“Brambleclaw led the way down the hill, Breezepaw at his heels, while Crowfeather had already caught up and was flanking Tawnypelt, keeping to the outside of the group. Squirrelflight padded alone, while Hollypaw and Lionpaw trotted behind.”
This may seem like nitpicking, but how in sanity’s name does he know all this?I know he can hear well, but that well to tell exactly where every cat is, precisely what their pawsteps sound like, and how tell them apart? I guess he’s Just That Special.
“Is the prophecy really meant for a cat who can’t see?”
Where did all that “I can do anything” spirit go? I guess he’s pulling a random line from under his tail. But that’s just me.
Chapter 3, Part 1
“He cleared the gorge in one easy jump, landing on the ridge beyond. His claws scraped the rock, holding his paws firm. He leaped again, light as air, the breath hardly stirring in his chest. His tail seemed to brush the pelt-soft sky and, with the blood rushing in his ears, he lifted his chin and yowled, his voice echoing like thunder around the empty mountains. I have the power of the stars in my paws!”
Or you’re really huge, deny the laws of physics, and are on kitty steroids. Just a thought.
“And neither of them had asked about his journey to the mountains. He stared angrily around the camp. No cat seemed the slightest bit interested in his return.”
My, aren’t we a bit self-centered? Did you expect everyone to clamor around you and beg at your paws for details? Lionpaw, as much as you may wish it you are not the center of Erinland. At least not yet.
“Or did she think their matching snow-colored pelts would scare away all the prey as soon as they set foot under the trees?”
Then why even bother going out if you’re like a great big danger sign? Or two? Though I don’t think the prey is just going to automatically run away from them. If that were true, they’d run away from snow too. Or maybe I’m imagining things.
“It took me ages to get it right”
Didn’t Sir Gary Stu catch a vole on his first day as an apprentice? I would not call maybe an hour or two ages. Maybe his conception of time is screwed up, it would not surprise me.
“Looking down at Icepaw’s glowing eyes, Lionpaw felt as if he were being asked to give up an entire way of life—and one that suited him very well.”
How do her eyes remind you of the Uber Speshul Prophecy? What is the connection here? I’m not seeing it, whatever it is.
“Icepaw padded beside him, her small catch tripping her as she tried to match his pace. “I wish my legs weren’t so short” she complained, her words muffled by vole fur.”
Icepaw must be one short cat, if a vole can trip her up. The vole is about, what, two inches long and one inch thick or so? The book specifically states it’s a small vole. Even a cat a little over six moons can carry a vole and not trip. So either Icepaw is about six inches tall, or that vole is genetically mutated and huge and the cats’ size perception is way off.
“Icepaw lifted her chin. “I got it first try!””
How in logic’s name would you have had a second try? If you’d missed, the vole would have bolted down its hole, not wait around for you to try again, Icepaw honey dearest.
““No cat must know! Not when we don’t know exactly what this prophecy means.””
Oh mah gosh, they’re totally going to read you the riot act if you don’t know exactly what this huge mysterious prophecy means. No, they aren’t. Hollypaw, I think you’re just a little bit paranoid/obsessive about this.
“Icepaw was trotting from the fresh-kill pile with her little vole swinging from her jaws.”
Hang on a moment-weren’t we just told she couldn’t walk with it without tripping? Or did Icepaw randomly have a lightning-fast growth spurt? Or did the vole shrink? It’s a mystery.
“Lionpaw watched his brother. He seemed completely different from the resentful young cat who had never wanted to be a medicine cat’s apprentice. And yet he’s more powerful than any of his Clanmates.”
Yo, he’s had three full books to develop. Dontcha think he might have changed a bit? And Lionpaw, no, he’s not really more powerful than you. You’re a member of the prophecy just like he is. You are his equal. –headdesk-
“Would the frustration gnawing in his own belly cease with time, once he’d gotten used to the prophecy, as Jaypaw had done?”
Probably. Don’t see why you’re upset anyway. Thought you liked this whole shebang, being uber powerful and all.
““Isn’t he going to mention how I fought?” he hissed under his breath.”
Yeah, you and the other two apprentices who fought, remember? But since you’re so self-centered you think he’s obviously going to mention your super amazing skills because of course you are Just That Special. –headdesk-
Chapter 3, Part 2
““Cloudtail found a hive in a hollow trunk while we were patrolling near the abandoned Twolegplace,” Cinderpaw explained. “He managed to get his paw in and grab a chunk of honeycomb.” Did he get stung?” Foxpaw mewed. “Only once.”
I find it difficult to believe he only got stung once, sticking his paw into a beehive.
“One day all the honey in the forest would be his.”
And this is important why? He’s not a medicine cat, last time I checked. Unless he and Jaypaw switched bodies or something. Unless he’s planning to go out and eat it all. Which I don’t think he is.
““Not joining in with the honey feast?” Lionpaw whispered. “Let them enjoy it,” he whispered back. Suddenly feeling less alone, Lionpaw closed his eyes and slipped into sleep.”
So now they’re shunning their denmates because they aren’t ultra powerful and aloof like them? Ladies and gentlemen, we have found our Snobby Cat of the Year gold medal winners.
““We’re not concerned with past battles,” Tigerstar mewed briskly. “Only battles to come.” Lionpaw narrowed his eyes. This sounded like an excuse to him. They couldn’t see me in the mountains!”
……somebody shoot him. He makes a big deal out of what Tigerstar says, which happens to be perfectly logical. He’s probably just worried about this because if they didn’t see him they won’t be able to fall over in their race to adore him, like he thinks they should. e-e
““But don’t you want to hear about the mountain cats?” Tigerstar lashed his tail. “They’re no concern of mine.” He’s not interested!”
I wouldn’t be interested either. Maybe because I’ve read the book, but maybe because Lionpaw is such a jerk I don’t give a crap.
“Well, he certainly didn’t know everything about Lionpaw.”
Is Tigerstar supposed to? I don’t think you want him stalking you. But Idk.
Chapter 4
“He turned and dashed towards the den entrance as Daisy raced in. He smelled fear on her pelt and the lash of a flailing paw as she hurried past him.”
Um….how did you not bonk heads cartoon style and fall over with x’d-out eyes and little stars floating around your heads? It’s a small medicine cave.
“He was chasing a bee and jumped straight into the nettle patch,” Daisy panted after setting down Toadkit.”
That is one dumb kit, if he can’t see he’s about to jump into a fricking nettle patch.
“…Jaypaw tripped over her tail. He stumbled to a clumsy halt at the store entrance..”
Jaypaw, tripping means you FALL OVER. Comprende?
““Thanks, Jaypaw.” Toadkit’s grateful mew took him by surprise.”
Because you’re never grateful yourself?
“But the coltsfoot in her paws grew more fragrant, as though her pads were twitching with unease.”
Uh….how would her pads twitching make the herb more fragrant? Unless Leafpool’s pads are made of coltsfoot, and her twitching them wafts the scent like perfume. But that would make it difficult to walk, methinks.
““But they didn’t try to help the Tribe beat the invaders.”
He’s talking about the Tribe of Endless Hunting, and how may I ask are they supposed to help when they’re DEAD, Jaypaw dearest? Will they blind the invaders with their awesome shininess? –thinks of Edward Cullen the disco ball-
“Yet she had sounded so bright when talking to Cloudtail. Unnaturally bright, as though covering doubt.”
What. The. Heck. Leafpool just told Cloudtail that Cinderpaw was definitely ready for her final assessment. If Leafpool really cared about Cinderpaw, she would’ve checked on her (healed from being broken) leg. But NO, she has to be all, “Cinderpaw will follow her DESTINEEE.” Uh-huh. Leafpool’s just so caring and sweet.
Chapter 5, Part 1
“Leafpool was sharing a mouse with Cloudtail when Jaypaw nosed his way out of the medicine den and padded to the fresh-kill pile.”
I guess the Erins are just trying to be descriptive when they say he “nosed” his way out of the den because he can’t see, but that still doesn’t stop me thinking of him walking along with his nose pressed to the ground.
“He whisked his tail along Jaypaw’s flank.”
Return of the supertails.The sequel, tickets now half price!
““You’ve got a more important job. Leafpool wants you to come with us to gather herbs.” Great. Jaypaw suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore.”
Though Ten’s nickname for Jaypaw (Jerkface) is pretty good, my
own for him is now Sir Idiot. So. He’s unhappy just because he has to gather herbs and doesn’t get to hunt. Well let’s think about what he’s been doing for the past three books, hmmm, maybe GATHERING HERBS a lot of the time? Why would he suddenly be all angsty about it now? Somebody shoot him. Heck, somebody shoot all of them except maybe Breezepelt.
“The woods were drowsy with heat”
Wait…trees need to sleep? I didn’t know that.
“If anyone catches us,” Hollypaw mewed, “we can just say we were just trying to get some tips before our own assessment. No warrior could object to that.””
Yes, they could. You’re not doing anything productive, not to mention possibly breaking the code. Though I don’t see how you’re “picking up tips” by watching them. They hunt pretty much the same way you do. Except they aren’t stus/sues.
“Birds chittering in the trees above the hollow woke Jaypaw. Dawn.”
I guess he looked at his magical alarm clock when he woke up and it said “Why hi there, Sir Idiot I mean Jaypaw. The birds are singing, the prey is running, and everything’s just absoflipping hunky-dory except for the lack of a plot. Oh, by the way it’s dawn. Have a nice day, and don’t ever be consistent or make sense, or you’ll be killed off!”
SO YEAH.
““Where are you going?” Leafpool’s mew startled him as he headed for the den entrance. “I left some leaves behind,” he lied.”
Apparently lying is part of the legacy he inherited from his grandfather. Whoop-de-doo.
““But Poppypaw looks as calm as a vixen.”
….how do they know that female foxes are particularly calm? And why would they be? I thought the Clans thought that foxes were violent creatures.But they can’t be more violent than Firestar
““Where shall I hunt?” Honeypaw mewed nervously. “Trust your instinct,” Poppypaw advised.”
Knowing the territory might also help. Which I think she does, as she’s an experienced apprentice.
“The air was suddenly thick with pain.”
I’m getting this mental image of a mixing bowl with a recipe sheet beside it that says “Want to make your cake perfect? Just adding some pain will thicken the mix!”
“Waves of agony flooded from Cinderpaw’s injured leg.”
Yes, I know she’s most likely in great agony, but Sir Idiot can sense pain waves now? I guess he’s Just That Special.
“Cloudtail scrabbled onto the trunk, pushing Hollypaw to one side. “I knew she wasn’t ready!”
Then why, in StarClan’s stupid name, didn’t you freaking insist to Leafpool so instead of accepting her weak assurances and strolling out? You IDIOT, Cloudtail.
““We need to get her back to camp,” Jaypaw told him. “Hollypaw, you go on ahead and warn Leafpool.”
Hollypaw hesitated, not wanting to leave her friend.”
You. Stupid. Moron. Hollypaw. Sitting on your tail beside her isn’t doing anything. Going to warn the medicine cat so she’ll be ready to treat your friend is. –headdeskheaddeskheaddesk-
““You shouldn’t have told Cloudtail she was ready for her assessment.””
For once I agree with Sir Idiot.
““That’s not for you to judge.” Leafpool’s voice quavered.”
Why?
““You didn’t even watch a training session to make sure she was fully fit.”
Exactly. Listen to Sir Idiot, Leafsue.
““You can’t always do the right thing. No matter how much you want to.” “I know.” Grief pulsed from his mentor, sharper and deeper than Jaypaw expected. “But I’ll always try.”
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-tears up- Snort….Leafsue…being a sue....saying something totally untrue…hey, that rhymes.
“Yellowfang sniffed at the fresh-kill and jerked backwards. She rubbed her paw against her broad, flat muzzle as the dark shadow of a flea scuttled across her nose.
“I thought these hunting grounds would be safe from fleas!”
Wow.
1. How could fleas (something alive) exist in StarClan, where all the cats are DEAD? Do fleas go there when they die too? Some cat there must really like fleas, don’t know why.
2. She’s just noticing this now? I would think she’d notice right away if she had fleas when she got to StarClan. And she’s been dead for, I dunno, a load of moons? Wow, she’s observant.
““When will you learn to groom yourself?””
I think Yellowfang knows, but hey maybe she went around everywhere looking like Cousin It. But I digress.
““When you stop trying to take care of every cat,””
So Spottedleaf goes all around StarClan healing every flipping cat in her path? As if they needed healing in the first place? I think, being grown-up warriors mostly, they can take care of themselves, especially since they don’t ever have natural disasters or shortages of prey or predators, as far as I know. Ohwait the undead fleas. Got it.
“”Bad luck” she sympathized. “I didn’t think there were any fleas here.”
You mean Bluestar didn’t know StarClan was for bugs, too? Or hasn’t she figured it out by now?
“”They each seem to be figuring out their path at last.””
What path? The nice scenic one or the one beside the highway? And even if they are, they haven’t had boo help from StarClan, so why does StarClan care? They didn’t even make the Uber Special Prophecy, or so we’ve been told.
““These kits were born into ThunderClan! They have been raised as loyal ThunderClan warriors. Why should they feel responsibility towards any other Clan?”
Yeah, and their father was WindClan. I thought they knew that…? Even if the kits don’t know, that doesn’t change the fact that possibly one day they might learn of their heritage and maybe feel some loyalty towards WindClan? Ohwait I forgot that ThunderClan is the Uber Special Clan and only They deserve help from the Three. Right. And Jaypaw isn’t a warrior, he’s a medicine cat dear Bluestar. Even though he wanted to be one, you and your allies bullied him into accepting his speshul destiny.
“Helpless even to protect ourselves”
What the flipping heck do you need protection from? You’re dead, you morons, and you live in paradise, pretty much. And if you all somehow get destroyed oh boo hoo. But I suppose it wouldn’t be dramatic if the invincible Clan of ancestors wasn’t in danger.
Chapter 1 (part 1)
“A cold wind rolling”
Wind can roll? I thought it swooshed or blew or something.
“shabby green”
How can a color be shabby?
“Why any cat would want to stay in the mountains when they could live by the lake.”
Holly honey, all of the Tribe cats except for three haven’t even been to the lake, and even then you think they’re just automatically going to love it and want to stay? And even if all the Tribe cats randomly decided to move to the lake, it would be kind of crowded for all of the other Clans. I don’t think you want that.
““Brook must feel the same way about the mountains as I do about my home.””
Yeah duh she was born there. We all like our homes, I think.
“a hare pelted in terror, throwing up dirt and grass from its long back feet”
So the hare has forepaws on its back feet? I mean generally you use your hands (or forepaws) to throw things. The hare should be kicking up dirt and grass, not throwing it.
““Lionpaw flicked Hollypaw’s flank with his tail.””
That’s some flexible tail there.
““We’ve got to figure out exactly what this prophecy means!””
And how may I ask will you do this? And why? I think you can still fulfill it without knowing every tiny detail there is to know. That’s kind of the point of a prophecy.
““You know Jaypaw and his visions””
What the beeping-? This isn’t a vision it’s a prophecy, you dimwits.
““They sound great, but we have to live in the real world.””
No dear. The real world doesn’t have as many bad characters and mistakes as this one does. You live in Erinland. And I find it difficult to believe you’re being so casual about a prophecy that could change your life.
““We’ll be able to do anything!””
Erm, aren’t you contradicting yourself here Holly? You just said that you needed to figure out exactly what the prophecy meant and now you’re acting like you know. Ah inconsistency, how the Erins adore thee.
““How could you say such a thing?””
Ohnoez, how could Lionpaw ever challenge the all-knowing
“How would she know what she was supposed to do if it came to a choice between her own safety and her Clan’s”
Wtf…? Holly honey, you can follow the code if you want. No one’s stopping you.
Chapter 1, part 2
“Squirrelflight still saw them as kits.”
How do you know she does? Can you read her mind like your brother? Maybe she just still cares about you, hmmm? You are her supposed daughter, and still her kin.
“kits didn’t have to worry about having more power than their warrior ancestors”
Sure they would. They’re going to have to grow up one day, after all. But I wouldn’t ‘worry’ about it. But that’s just me.
““Why did you get in the way?” Breezepaw! The black WindClan apprentice was shaking out his fur beside her. “I almost had that mouse!” “Sorr-“ She began to apologize, then bristled. Why didn’t the dumb furball look where he was going?””
Hello, he can’t change direction mid-pounce. At least not to my knowledge.
““Of course she is! She’d be even better if she were hunting like we were supposed to, instead of getting in my way.””
Breezepaw gets brownie points.
““ThunderClan cats think they’re so special””
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
“she groped for the word to explain”
This gave me bad thoughts.
“Jaypaw is already making predictions about trouble in other Clans, too.”
Orlynao? Why haven’t we seen this before?
“How could she be scared of her own brother?”
Very, very easily.
Chapter 2
“The skin’s grazed but not bleeding. But you already knew that.”
So why bother saying it?
“some mouse-brained comment about how well he had coped with the unfamiliar territory.”
So you’re going to be durred if she praises you?
““Nice pigeon.” Crowfeather mewed to Lionpaw. Breezepaw stiffened in anger.””
You’re all “ROAR I’m angry” when your dad’s just complimenting someone else? How dare he.
Touchy, touchy, touchy.
“By accepting fresh-kill, they were openly admitting their weakness”
I can see why they might not like to do that, but it’s hardly going to matter to their FRIENDS, who caught it for them in the first place and hardly be ones to attack them.
“Brook bristled. “Wolves.””
Why have we not heard of wolves before in the mountains? Why the heck didn’t one of them finish off Sharptooth, or prey on the Tribe themselves? I mean honestly.
“Imagine having such a sour-tongued warrior (Crowfeather) for a father. I’m glad I’m not Breezepaw! (Crowfeather’s WindClan son)”
I just felt like pointing out that Erins throw a lot of lines like that in the books, about how the kits would just hate it if Crowfeather were their father. Foreshadowing on a plate, anyone?
“Brambleclaw led the way down the hill, Breezepaw at his heels, while Crowfeather had already caught up and was flanking Tawnypelt, keeping to the outside of the group. Squirrelflight padded alone, while Hollypaw and Lionpaw trotted behind.”
This may seem like nitpicking, but how in sanity’s name does he know all this?I know he can hear well, but that well to tell exactly where every cat is, precisely what their pawsteps sound like, and how tell them apart? I guess he’s Just That Special.
“Is the prophecy really meant for a cat who can’t see?”
Where did all that “I can do anything” spirit go? I guess he’s pulling a random line from under his tail. But that’s just me.
Chapter 3, Part 1
“He cleared the gorge in one easy jump, landing on the ridge beyond. His claws scraped the rock, holding his paws firm. He leaped again, light as air, the breath hardly stirring in his chest. His tail seemed to brush the pelt-soft sky and, with the blood rushing in his ears, he lifted his chin and yowled, his voice echoing like thunder around the empty mountains. I have the power of the stars in my paws!”
Or you’re really huge, deny the laws of physics, and are on kitty steroids. Just a thought.
“And neither of them had asked about his journey to the mountains. He stared angrily around the camp. No cat seemed the slightest bit interested in his return.”
My, aren’t we a bit self-centered? Did you expect everyone to clamor around you and beg at your paws for details? Lionpaw, as much as you may wish it you are not the center of Erinland. At least not yet.
“Or did she think their matching snow-colored pelts would scare away all the prey as soon as they set foot under the trees?”
Then why even bother going out if you’re like a great big danger sign? Or two? Though I don’t think the prey is just going to automatically run away from them. If that were true, they’d run away from snow too. Or maybe I’m imagining things.
“It took me ages to get it right”
Didn’t Sir Gary Stu catch a vole on his first day as an apprentice? I would not call maybe an hour or two ages. Maybe his conception of time is screwed up, it would not surprise me.
“Looking down at Icepaw’s glowing eyes, Lionpaw felt as if he were being asked to give up an entire way of life—and one that suited him very well.”
How do her eyes remind you of the Uber Speshul Prophecy? What is the connection here? I’m not seeing it, whatever it is.
“Icepaw padded beside him, her small catch tripping her as she tried to match his pace. “I wish my legs weren’t so short” she complained, her words muffled by vole fur.”
Icepaw must be one short cat, if a vole can trip her up. The vole is about, what, two inches long and one inch thick or so? The book specifically states it’s a small vole. Even a cat a little over six moons can carry a vole and not trip. So either Icepaw is about six inches tall, or that vole is genetically mutated and huge and the cats’ size perception is way off.
“Icepaw lifted her chin. “I got it first try!””
How in logic’s name would you have had a second try? If you’d missed, the vole would have bolted down its hole, not wait around for you to try again, Icepaw honey dearest.
““No cat must know! Not when we don’t know exactly what this prophecy means.””
Oh mah gosh, they’re totally going to read you the riot act if you don’t know exactly what this huge mysterious prophecy means. No, they aren’t. Hollypaw, I think you’re just a little bit paranoid/obsessive about this.
“Icepaw was trotting from the fresh-kill pile with her little vole swinging from her jaws.”
Hang on a moment-weren’t we just told she couldn’t walk with it without tripping? Or did Icepaw randomly have a lightning-fast growth spurt? Or did the vole shrink? It’s a mystery.
“Lionpaw watched his brother. He seemed completely different from the resentful young cat who had never wanted to be a medicine cat’s apprentice. And yet he’s more powerful than any of his Clanmates.”
Yo, he’s had three full books to develop. Dontcha think he might have changed a bit? And Lionpaw, no, he’s not really more powerful than you. You’re a member of the prophecy just like he is. You are his equal. –headdesk-
“Would the frustration gnawing in his own belly cease with time, once he’d gotten used to the prophecy, as Jaypaw had done?”
Probably. Don’t see why you’re upset anyway. Thought you liked this whole shebang, being uber powerful and all.
““Isn’t he going to mention how I fought?” he hissed under his breath.”
Yeah, you and the other two apprentices who fought, remember? But since you’re so self-centered you think he’s obviously going to mention your super amazing skills because of course you are Just That Special. –headdesk-
Chapter 3, Part 2
““Cloudtail found a hive in a hollow trunk while we were patrolling near the abandoned Twolegplace,” Cinderpaw explained. “He managed to get his paw in and grab a chunk of honeycomb.” Did he get stung?” Foxpaw mewed. “Only once.”
I find it difficult to believe he only got stung once, sticking his paw into a beehive.
“One day all the honey in the forest would be his.”
And this is important why? He’s not a medicine cat, last time I checked. Unless he and Jaypaw switched bodies or something. Unless he’s planning to go out and eat it all. Which I don’t think he is.
““Not joining in with the honey feast?” Lionpaw whispered. “Let them enjoy it,” he whispered back. Suddenly feeling less alone, Lionpaw closed his eyes and slipped into sleep.”
So now they’re shunning their denmates because they aren’t ultra powerful and aloof like them? Ladies and gentlemen, we have found our Snobby Cat of the Year gold medal winners.
““We’re not concerned with past battles,” Tigerstar mewed briskly. “Only battles to come.” Lionpaw narrowed his eyes. This sounded like an excuse to him. They couldn’t see me in the mountains!”
……somebody shoot him. He makes a big deal out of what Tigerstar says, which happens to be perfectly logical. He’s probably just worried about this because if they didn’t see him they won’t be able to fall over in their race to adore him, like he thinks they should. e-e
““But don’t you want to hear about the mountain cats?” Tigerstar lashed his tail. “They’re no concern of mine.” He’s not interested!”
I wouldn’t be interested either. Maybe because I’ve read the book, but maybe because Lionpaw is such a jerk I don’t give a crap.
“Well, he certainly didn’t know everything about Lionpaw.”
Is Tigerstar supposed to? I don’t think you want him stalking you. But Idk.
Chapter 4
“He turned and dashed towards the den entrance as Daisy raced in. He smelled fear on her pelt and the lash of a flailing paw as she hurried past him.”
Um….how did you not bonk heads cartoon style and fall over with x’d-out eyes and little stars floating around your heads? It’s a small medicine cave.
“He was chasing a bee and jumped straight into the nettle patch,” Daisy panted after setting down Toadkit.”
That is one dumb kit, if he can’t see he’s about to jump into a fricking nettle patch.
“…Jaypaw tripped over her tail. He stumbled to a clumsy halt at the store entrance..”
Jaypaw, tripping means you FALL OVER. Comprende?
““Thanks, Jaypaw.” Toadkit’s grateful mew took him by surprise.”
Because you’re never grateful yourself?
“But the coltsfoot in her paws grew more fragrant, as though her pads were twitching with unease.”
Uh….how would her pads twitching make the herb more fragrant? Unless Leafpool’s pads are made of coltsfoot, and her twitching them wafts the scent like perfume. But that would make it difficult to walk, methinks.
““But they didn’t try to help the Tribe beat the invaders.”
He’s talking about the Tribe of Endless Hunting, and how may I ask are they supposed to help when they’re DEAD, Jaypaw dearest? Will they blind the invaders with their awesome shininess? –thinks of Edward Cullen the disco ball-
“Yet she had sounded so bright when talking to Cloudtail. Unnaturally bright, as though covering doubt.”
What. The. Heck. Leafpool just told Cloudtail that Cinderpaw was definitely ready for her final assessment. If Leafpool really cared about Cinderpaw, she would’ve checked on her (healed from being broken) leg. But NO, she has to be all, “Cinderpaw will follow her DESTINEEE.” Uh-huh. Leafpool’s just so caring and sweet.
Chapter 5, Part 1
“Leafpool was sharing a mouse with Cloudtail when Jaypaw nosed his way out of the medicine den and padded to the fresh-kill pile.”
I guess the Erins are just trying to be descriptive when they say he “nosed” his way out of the den because he can’t see, but that still doesn’t stop me thinking of him walking along with his nose pressed to the ground.
“He whisked his tail along Jaypaw’s flank.”
Return of the supertails.
““You’ve got a more important job. Leafpool wants you to come with us to gather herbs.” Great. Jaypaw suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore.”
Though Ten’s nickname for Jaypaw (Jerkface) is pretty good, my
own for him is now Sir Idiot. So. He’s unhappy just because he has to gather herbs and doesn’t get to hunt. Well let’s think about what he’s been doing for the past three books, hmmm, maybe GATHERING HERBS a lot of the time? Why would he suddenly be all angsty about it now? Somebody shoot him. Heck, somebody shoot all of them except maybe Breezepelt.
“The woods were drowsy with heat”
Wait…trees need to sleep? I didn’t know that.
“If anyone catches us,” Hollypaw mewed, “we can just say we were just trying to get some tips before our own assessment. No warrior could object to that.””
Yes, they could. You’re not doing anything productive, not to mention possibly breaking the code. Though I don’t see how you’re “picking up tips” by watching them. They hunt pretty much the same way you do. Except they aren’t stus/sues.
“Birds chittering in the trees above the hollow woke Jaypaw. Dawn.”
I guess he looked at his magical alarm clock when he woke up and it said “Why hi there, Sir Idiot I mean Jaypaw. The birds are singing, the prey is running, and everything’s just absoflipping hunky-dory except for the lack of a plot. Oh, by the way it’s dawn. Have a nice day, and don’t ever be consistent or make sense, or you’ll be killed off!”
SO YEAH.
““Where are you going?” Leafpool’s mew startled him as he headed for the den entrance. “I left some leaves behind,” he lied.”
Apparently lying is part of the legacy he inherited from his grandfather. Whoop-de-doo.
““But Poppypaw looks as calm as a vixen.”
….how do they know that female foxes are particularly calm? And why would they be? I thought the Clans thought that foxes were violent creatures.
““Where shall I hunt?” Honeypaw mewed nervously. “Trust your instinct,” Poppypaw advised.”
Knowing the territory might also help. Which I think she does, as she’s an experienced apprentice.
“The air was suddenly thick with pain.”
I’m getting this mental image of a mixing bowl with a recipe sheet beside it that says “Want to make your cake perfect? Just adding some pain will thicken the mix!”
“Waves of agony flooded from Cinderpaw’s injured leg.”
Yes, I know she’s most likely in great agony, but Sir Idiot can sense pain waves now? I guess he’s Just That Special.
“Cloudtail scrabbled onto the trunk, pushing Hollypaw to one side. “I knew she wasn’t ready!”
Then why, in StarClan’s stupid name, didn’t you freaking insist to Leafpool so instead of accepting her weak assurances and strolling out? You IDIOT, Cloudtail.
““We need to get her back to camp,” Jaypaw told him. “Hollypaw, you go on ahead and warn Leafpool.”
Hollypaw hesitated, not wanting to leave her friend.”
You. Stupid. Moron. Hollypaw. Sitting on your tail beside her isn’t doing anything. Going to warn the medicine cat so she’ll be ready to treat your friend is. –headdeskheaddeskheaddesk-
““You shouldn’t have told Cloudtail she was ready for her assessment.””
For once I agree with Sir Idiot.
““That’s not for you to judge.” Leafpool’s voice quavered.”
Why?
““You didn’t even watch a training session to make sure she was fully fit.”
Exactly. Listen to Sir Idiot, Leafsue.
““You can’t always do the right thing. No matter how much you want to.” “I know.” Grief pulsed from his mentor, sharper and deeper than Jaypaw expected. “But I’ll always try.”
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-tears up- Snort….Leafsue…being a sue....saying something totally untrue…hey, that rhymes.
