The Bluestar Diaries

[Cloud]

"mmhm. One reason people sometimes have controlled burns."

Or arsonist fairies. >.>

"I vote for being lost. /fancy explanation

But for real. She's implying StarClan is their soure of guidance, which would so hold water if they did much guiding."

Yeah. They do more..."okay-here's-a-random-sign/prophecy-kthxbye" with no explanations or real help.

"Now that's where you're wrong, Cloud. At a time like this, everyone wants unborn kits fighting for them."

XD

"Remind me why."

DRAHMA,

"That's not so much peer pressure as it is "do what the people want or you won't be leader for long"."

Which is stupid.

"Did you type that to the tune of Animail?"

What the flip is animail?

"Uh, no, whoever he's talking to was born a kit."

Indeedy do, which is why this sounds stupid.

"Meat can be soft and fragrant.
BBQ ads tend to avoid the specific adjective "fragrant", however."

Yeah.

And ew. Cigarettes are gross.

[duckyaisha]

"What the flip is animail?"

Animail! Animail! Hot-diggity-dog it's animail! *WOOF!*
Yeah, it's a segment on Planet's Funniest Animals.


"Yeah. They do more..."okay-here's-a-random-sign/prophecy-kthxbye" with no explanations or real help."

Okay, here's the problem I have with Starclan.
1. They talk in riddles. Talking in riddles is only okay if A. the speaker is mentally insane B. It's a test of some sort or C. There is some other reason that you have to speak in riddles. If dead cats were forbidden to speak to living cats, the only way Starclan would be able to communicate would be through signs in nature (an unusual pattern in the sky, a slash mark in a tree, etc.) or wordless dreams. However, it has been shown that Starclan can literally SPEAK to the living. If they really wanted the living cats to succeed, they would speak clearly and not in prophecies. Why not say "You're going to need to let in an orange furred kittypet or ThunderClan will die" if you have the ability to do so?

2. They. Do. NOTHING. Only in the first series does Starclan actually help them. I can't remember when (sometimes during the BloodClan battle I think) but Starclan gives them a bunch of prophecies (read above rant, but at least it helps a little) and I think they do some other stuff. But after that, they give excuse after excuse after excuse as to why they can't help the cats. If my swim coach randomly teleported into Warriors he would yell at them for giving so many excuses. They whine like freaking BELLA. For example, while the cats are traveling to Midnight and through the mountains- "We don't walk these skies. We can't help you." Yes, the Tribe of Endless Hunting "lives" there, but they are SPIRITS! They should be able to travel wherever the Clan cats go because those cats carry their faith in StarClan with them. Besides, Starclan had no trouble traveling to the lake. Wouldn't they not be able to walk the skies above atheist cats if they can't walk the skies where another spirit-cat-Clan lives?
For another example- "They're not ready to know yet." I heard this excuse time and time again during the third series until I stopped reading. It has been overused, even in non-warriors series, to the point of being obnoxious. Sometimes it makes sense, like in Pendragon when they don't tell him all the information about Travelers in book 1 so he doesn't get overwhelmed, freak out, etc. But the only time when I think the Stu-Sue Grandchildren aren't able to handle the information is when Jaypaw is still an extreme brat. (Book 1) After that, whenever there's going to be a battle, or another type of conflict, they should have access to this information.

Moral of the story- Starclan is useless.

[Cloud]

And an insult to religions.

[Ten]

"DRAHMA,"
--
... /thought that said Dahrma

But what is the reason they give?


"Which is stupid."
--
o-o Cloud, otherwise it's a dictatorship.


"What the flip is animail?"
--
Are you serious? I thought for sure...
I'll sing it for you sometime.

aha, Ducky knows what I mean. Don't those notes fit so well with what Cloud wrote?


"And ew. Cigarettes are gross."
--
inorite?


"Okay, here's the problem I have with Starclan.
1. They talk in riddles."
--
Yeah. Check out some actual prophecies sometime. I don't know about others, but the Old Testament (aka Torah) prophecies are straightforward and detailed. They don't use foggy language and only a few fragmented sentences. They take up a page or more in tiny font outlining everything that's about to happen until it couldn't be clearer.


"Why not say 'You're going to need to let in an orange furred kittypet or ThunderClan will die' if you have the ability to do so?"
--
According to wishers, it's 'cause if they did, the Clans would become too dependent on them.


"If my swim coach randomly teleported into Warriors he would yell at them for giving so many excuses."
--
That's what the Erins need. A coach.


"Starclan is useless."
--
That's why I'm proud to be a scribe at a StarClan-less warriors forum.


"And an insult to religions."
--
The other day, I saw a chick on deviantart saying that StarClan was better than real religions. ;-;


...Yeah, I want to tell her off when I get the time.

[duckyaisha]

"Yeah. Check out some actual prophecies sometime. I don't know about others, but the Old Testament (aka Torah) prophecies are straightforward and detailed. They don't use foggy language and only a few fragmented sentences. They take up a page or more in tiny font outlining everything that's about to happen until it couldn't be clearer."

Exactly! And people didn't become too dependent on whoever wrote those prophecies, did they?

"That's what the Erins need. A coach."
A writing one.

"That's why I'm proud to be a scribe at a StarClan-less warriors forum."
Agreement.


Yes, the Animal notes fit perfect with Supertails.

[Cloud]

"... /thought that said Dahrma

But what is the reason they give?"

I think Ducky answered that.

"o-o Cloud, otherwise it's a dictatorship."

I know, but...I'm sorry, it's just kind of silly because it almost seems like blackmail: If you don't go to war we're kicking you out of office. Which is dumb. ._.

"Are you serious? I thought for sure...
I'll sing it for you sometime.

aha, Ducky knows what I mean. Don't those notes fit so well with what Cloud wrote?"

Yay Ten singing. And that's weird, 'cause I had no idea what that was before you told me.

"inorite?"

YES. ._. Heaven only knows why people STILL start smoking in this day and age. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Yeah. Check out some actual prophecies sometime. I don't know about others, but the Old Testament (aka Torah) prophecies are straightforward and detailed. They don't use foggy language and only a few fragmented sentences. They take up a page or more in tiny font outlining everything that's about to happen until it couldn't be clearer."

Yay for actual religions, eh?

"According to wishers, it's 'cause if they did, the Clans would become too dependent on them."

That's ludicrous. StarClan can't give them food or water or shelter. They can only give advice and signs. Which are hardly of any use anyway.

"That's what the Erins need. A coach."

A tough one.

"That's why I'm proud to be a scribe at a StarClan-less warriors forum."

Me too, though I roleplay on FoF...still, StarClan has very little to do with what happens there and I know how stupid StarClan is anyway. Plus if there weren't StarClan on FoF, we wouldn't have our interesting Mistpelt plot...

" The other day, I saw a chick on deviantart saying that StarClan was better than real religions. ;-;


...Yeah, I want to tell her off when I get the time."

Good heaven, is that girl stupid or is she mentally ill? You SHOULD tell her off, Ten. I wish I could. 'Cept I'm bad at that kind of thing.

[duckyaisha]

"Yay for actual religions, eh?"

I wouldn't know, because my whole family is atheist, but from going to church with friends and learning about the different religions, I have to say that they all pwn Starclan to death.

[Rebecca]

{That's ludicrous. StarClan can't give them food or water or shelter. They can only give advice and signs. Which are hardly of any use anyway.}

The whole concept of StarClan is idotic and pointless, once you think about it. All they seem to do is send out riddles that make no sense until after everything happens and gives no guidance to the cats whatsoever. As Ten said, StarClan doesn't exactly provide food or shelter. So the way I see it is that the Clans are already on their own with no Starcare; they really need to drop the whole StarClan infatuation and get on with their lives, which would most likely be better without StarClan. At least then they wouldn't be confused and freaking out about what's going to happen to them half the time.

'Course I'm probably paraphrasing what you guys have been saying all along. I didn't exactly feel like reading over the seven pages of this thread. ^^;

[Cloud]

"I wouldn't know, because my whole family is atheist, but from going to church with friends and learning about the different religions, I have to say that they all pwn Starclan to death."

Oo, cool, Ducky. I'm not atheist but I'm close. xD And yes, all religions pwn StarClan to death. So true.

"As Ten said,"

I'm deeply flattered, but I think you mean that hobbit over in Texas. 83

"no Starcare"

xD That sounds like some cheesy insurance agency.

It's fine, Rebecca. :3 I certainly don't expect you to read the whole thing.

[Cloud]

Chapter 8 a.k.a Hey Look, There’s Morality In This Chapter

Bluepaw wakes up in the apprentices’ den with a jolt, thinking:

“The battle!”

No, really?

“She jumped to her paws”

This is confusing. While it does in a way make sense, like “jump to your feet”, it’s a little off because she’s already ON her paws, even if she’s sleeping. Hrm.

“fern walls rippled”

-hums “Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid-

“angry air”

So everything they breathe in is malevolent?

“threatening as crows”

How are prey animals threatening?

“The fur along Adderfang’s spine stood up sharp as thorns.”

That’s just funny. Oo, I’m scared, my fur is pointy.

And then Goosefeather (who I’m convinced is either an idiot or homicidal) says that they can fight WindClan’s aggression (aggression against what?) by going to their camp and destroying their medicine supply. And of course this is labeled as that ever-so-handy stuff, “guidance from StarClan”. I label it as the medicine cat having a few screws loose or being a secret mass murder wannabe.

WindClan has not attacked them, has not stolen their prey. Has not even farted on their side of the border, to my knowledge. So what is this nonsense?

Then various warriors get mad at him and their protest can basically be summed up by: “Hey, that’s wrong, we don’t damage kids and old people. We’d be bad for doing that.”

Blasphemy, BlunderClan. Now go be good little minions.

Goosefeather retaliates by saying it’s StarClan’s advice, not mine and well we would be alive even if they aren’t. Pinestar loses any respect I might’ve had for him by saying we must do it or we’ll all die. (Of what? Their collective brain power being less than is needed to power a light bulb?)

Goosefeather’s apprentice, (Featherwhisker) argues by saying well what if WindClan gets sick and dies? Adderfang says well we’ll be alive so who cares? Pinestar agrees with him, of course. -_-

Everyone else then proceeds to chat a bit longer before going on a pointless rampage to battle WindClan.

“suddenly flashed her amber gaze”

That gaze needs a jacket and pants. And of course there’s the Erins’ favorite word. In fact, let me interrupt this journal to quote from another book I own:

“She paused. “I’ve explained before,” she said, “about the word suddenly. It makes things exciting. Sometimes, class, if you’re creating a story and you get stuck, just say the word suddenly and you won’t have any trouble continuing at all.””

You cannot deny that they have read Gooney Bird Greene.

Cannot.
Deny.

“her eyes blazed”

While I’m not an observant person and never noticed eyes blazing, and description is a fine thing, I’m getting tired of all the eye description. I mean come on, how much time do actual cats people spend describing eyes?

“Stormtail padded over and flicked Bluepaw’s ear with his tail tip.”

Butt-facing is rude, Stormtail. Especially to your daughter.

“flashed him a sharp look”

Moonflower never bothers to clothe her eye directions, does she?

“Bluepaw’s belly turned cold.”

Brain…um…stomach freeze!

“Pinestar yowled until his voice echoed off the trees”

Pinestar used Echoed Voice! It’s super effective!

“tumble of stone”

What.

“in the predawn light”

It was dawn when they woke up. After the cozy discussion time and chatting, it should be way after dawn. INCONSISTENCY, THEY HAS IT.

Bla bla, some warriors go to WindClan’s camp, a few others (Bratpaw included) stay behind next to a boulder in case they’re needed, along with Featherwhisker. At the end of the chapter, Robinwing comes running saying that Leopardpaw is wounded.

Why the injuries of one apprentice warrant an alert, I’m not sure. No other battles I’ve seen had on-site medics. Perhaps strategy was different back then, which come to think of it would make sense. Point for the Erins.