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Post by duckyaisha on Dec 30, 2009 6:22:03 GMT -5
I think thorns are the sharpest things a cat would naturally encounter, aside from bee strings. So to a cat, thorn sharp is probably pretty sharp. Saying razor-sharp or blade-sharp would make as much sense as naming your cat ink-kit.
Either Lionpaw misunderstood what she said or like Failstar he avoids direct questions.
---
Of course he avoids direct questions. He's spawn of the spawn of failstar. It's a trait that has been passed down through the failstar family FOR GENERATIONS! -end Fullmetal Alchemist reference.
Yeah. Except that BlunderClan cats generally have all the intelligence of a brick (no offense to the brick) so StarClan seems smart and awe-inspiring to them.
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Okay, that's hilarious.
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Post by Ten on Dec 30, 2009 17:10:50 GMT -5
"I think thorns are the sharpest things a cat would naturally encounter, aside from bee strings."
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A comparison to a bee sting would be much stronger. However, what bugs me isn't just that it's thorns but that she's specifying the sharpness at all, as an adverb. It doesn't make her description sound any better; it just clutters it up.
"Saying razor-sharp or blade-sharp"
--
would sound annoying too, even if they did know of them.
/hatehateadverbs
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Post by duckyaisha on Dec 30, 2009 17:20:54 GMT -5
Do you hate all adverbs?
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Post by Ten on Dec 30, 2009 17:40:27 GMT -5
Not all, no. "Not", for example, is an adverb, and that'd be hard to avoid. However, most of them are easy to avoid, like "-ly" adverbs. Come to think of it, "thorn-sharp" isn't an adverb, but it is a modified adjective, and like an adverb it clutters description and makes it sound silly. The way I figure it, if your heart lies in modifying a certain description, you might as well go the extra mile and add a prepositional phrase or something of the sort instead of tacking on one silly word.
Anyway, that's not to say modified adjectives are as bad as adverbs. If "thorn-sharp" had appeared only once, I might not have noticed it, but it's not a good enough descriptor to deserve recycling.
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Post by duckyaisha on Dec 30, 2009 17:45:31 GMT -5
But I always thought adverbs were good for describing things. Like flying swiftly gives you a more accurate image than simply flying.
And besides, I use a lot of adverbs in my writing and you don't seem to mind.
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Post by Cloud on Dec 31, 2009 1:05:25 GMT -5
Chapter 20, part 2 A.K.A Idiocy and Inaccurate Decriptions
“His mew was light, as though this was a small matter to him.”
…maybe it is? Maybe he doesn’t really care about the prophecy? I mean, why would he? He’s not a ThunderClan cat or even a Clan cat. The cats in it won’t affect him unless he joins a Clan. (Which he does eventually, but that’s besides the point. Most loners wouldn’t.)
“…and one day you will cover the stars in the sky…”
Why is this important? Or possible? Do they have a huge blanket or something, or are they taking a note out of Jack’s book and getting some giant beanstalks which they’ll sit on at night and grow really big and cover the stars?
“Hollypaw gasped. “Does that mean we’ll be dead?””
Oh what joy if we treated to such an event.
“Our light?”
Yes. You lost it on Mulberry Way, remember? Someone found it and Sol mugged it from them so he could give it back to you.
“Destroy the code!”
This made me think of the Pirate Code from POTC. –random tangent-I don’t really care if the warrior code gets destroyed. And since Holly’s so in love with it and it’s ignored so much I care even less.
““We can’t be more powerful than the code.” She whispered.
“The code’s more of what’d you call guidelines than an actual code.”-Barbossa.
It’s just a set of rules, innit? Anyone can break it. Including you. Which you have done various times. And have not been threatened with death or tortured. I’m not seeing what’s so powerful about it. /apologizes for bad grammar
““Sol.” He looked up at the tom. “You must come back with us.””
Drugshipping (JayxSol) just keeps coming back.
“Sol paused for a moment to wrap his tail neatly over his paws.”
How could he do it messily? How is it different from wrapping his tail around his paws normally? Maybe I’m being a stickler, but I really don’t see why the adverb was needed.
“He was staring at Sol, his gaze lingering on the cat’s soft fur and blunt claws.”
Just a question here. How would he be seeing Sol’s claws? They’re almost certainly sheathed, and even if they aren’t it says they’re blunt, so they’d be shorter and harder to see. Does Smokefoot have eagle eyes and/or x-ray vision?
““Oh, but ThunderClan welcomes everyone,” she sneered.”
On pizza party day. Yeah. And ShadowClan the nerds who are studying insanely and are jealous. >.>
“…up at the sun, fiery now as it slid behind the treetops.”
It wasn’t fiery earlier? What was it, then? Well, yeah, the eclipse…but the sun is usually fiery and the eclipse only lasted about a minute or so. It’s been a while since then.
Why is this worth mention? /is kind of a stickler
“He beckoned Sol and his littermates with a flick of his tail.”
So either they were turned around the whole time they were talking to the ShadowClan cats, or they have eyes on the backs of their heads.
““You’re close enough.” Russetfur flicked her tail, and her patrol dashed over the border and surrounded the ThunderClan cats.”
Wait a second....to quote Russetfur from a page before: “Shut up, Kinkfur.” She hissed. “I don’t want any more fighting today.”
So why are they going over and making the ThunderClan cats come to their camp (where conflict might break out) if they don’t want trouble? Did Russetfur randomly get more bloodthirsty or is she just a world-class idiot and has a worse memory than me?
“Tawnypelt looked warily at Sol. “Who are you?” “I’ve come to meet Blackstar.”
He must be sharing notes with Pansy.
“…as the setting sun turned the brambles to liquid amber.”
And then the leaves turned to emeralds and the unicorns started dancing and then the bunnies burped sparkles and…-coughs- Sorry.
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Post by duckyaisha on Dec 31, 2009 6:24:37 GMT -5
The setting sun making the brambles look amber would be okay, but why woudld they suddenly be liquid? The water should be liquid amber, unless the brambles suddenly turned to liquids.
It's just so ironic that code-obsessed Hollypaw is in Blunderclan, who are famous for breaking the code time and again.
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Post by Cloud on Dec 31, 2009 10:47:24 GMT -5
"the brambles suddenly turned to liquids."
Random phase change, of course.
"It's just so ironic that code-obsessed Hollypaw is in Blunderclan, who are famous for breaking the code time and again."
Yeah. She should've been in her dad's Clan. I mean, she's more WindClan anyway and they stick to the code the most.
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Post by duckyaisha on Dec 31, 2009 11:30:27 GMT -5
Random phase change, of course.
---x----
The setting sun is SO HOT it turns the brambles to liquid instead of burning them to a crisp. *Crosses fingers and hopes Firestar is now a ginger puddle*
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Post by Cloud on Dec 31, 2009 11:54:41 GMT -5
I would cross my fingers with you, but alas, it was not to be. ;-; I know he definitely dies in OOTS, though.
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