Lividpelt

[Jester]

Role player| Jester, Jess- any variation of the initial name is fine.
_____

Name| Lividpelt.

Gender| She-cat.

Physical Description| Lividpelt has very rich blue-gray coloring with a wide set of blind amber eyes. Her whiskers are fairly long in order to make up for what her eyesight lacks, and her tail is also long to help with any balance issues she might have when walking/running when on the hunt.

Views| Lividpelt would likely be a minion if a cat with the right abilities proved themselves to be a great leader: one who is willing to take up the task, give guidance and hope where it is due, and otherwise make the entirety of everyone's lives better. However, due to the fact that she's grown up the majority of her life without the proper guidance of a great leader, her views are cynical and the constant fear that that power will be abused is always in her mind. Especially after the tales of her ancestors were passed onto her from her mother. The fact that she often has hope for a Clan is usually kept in the far corners of her mind, simply because she'd rather view it cynically the majority of the time than give it too much hope and be disappointed if and when it ever came and it proved to be unfruitful.

Kin|
Mother: Spottedheart (Deceased), she had a gray and white spotted pelt, and almost rust colored eyes-- she died from a rat bite. Clanner.
Father: Boulderclaw (Deceased), he was a fully gray cat with pale yellow eyes-- died from a rat bite. Was a Clanner, but sometimes cynical.
Guardian: Lightfang, a fully white tom with pale green eyes. Minion.

History| Lividpelt first received her name when Boulderclaw noticed how similar her markings were to his own, and proud to have a daughter that looked so much like him, he named her as similar to his own name as he could. As she grew, her mother taught her the ways and past tales of their homeland. How at one point, things used to be great under a Leader and Deputy's control, and how life in general used to be so grand. Lividpelt easily accepted the Clanner ideal, and readily would have kept up the same views as her mother. Boulderclaw, who was always a little rough around the edges, ranted often about his views on the situation that they lived in (how there was never really all that much hope, and how even though he wished for someone to step up to the challenge, he often figured there was no chance), even despite being the typical Clanner that he was. Spottedheart easily put up with his behavior until it came to the teachings of their only kit--and tried to calm any of his rants before his views were heard by Lividpelt's little ears. She flat out refused to let his ways ruin Lividpelt's little dreams. What her mother never knew of, though, was that Lividpelt did indeed hear her father's sometimes cynical views however--Despite that shocking factor, she tried to rely on her mother's words. She could only rely on what she was told, she couldn't see these things with her own eyes.

Before Lividpelt was even able to begin her first tutoring lesson under her father, both of her parents were bitten on a routine hunt and passed away. A friend of the two called Lightfang returned unscathed and took Lividpelt under his care out of respect for the two who fought along side him. It took an incredible length of time after that for Lividpelt to accept the news of her parents passing. She mourned for weeks on end. She never wanted to eat, didn't want to move, didn't want to sleep-- she could hardly accept the loss. Lividpelt gave Lightfang a really hard time when it came to learning how to hunt and she was so struck with grief that any action he took to make her move failed, he couldn't do anything to inspire her-- because of this though, he was forced to stay strong, and he was more than determined to not give up hope on her yet. He was her only pillar of support now--he wanted to train her as if she was his own, wanted to watch her grow, wanted to support her through the trials in her life that she'd have to face. With that in mind, he tried to keep a lively attitude, attempted to encourage her with kind and loving words that things would all change ( such as her life, her attitude) as long as she put in the effort to achieve it. Over time, Lividpelt eventually grew envious of his strong personality, never knowing that he too mourned the loss of his friends, yet it gave her the inspiration to live again. She took what happened to her negatively, and turned it into a positive point. She took the feelings of the event, and instead of it being something to pull her down, only served to make her more keen on being able to be strong--to be able to protect what she cared for (Lightfang, her dreams), and to live the life her parents couldn't have continued living. It wasn't only for herself though, but anyone who happened to be around her. Since Lividpelt learned of what happened with her parents on their hunt though, she's always attempted to stick together in a group rather than be on her own. Lightfang taught her when she was young that she couldn't find absolute safety in the paws of others. She chose to ignore his warnings, despite the odds of possible betrayal.

Picture|

[Ten]

"Name| Ashpelt."
--
Even though it's a good name, how would they know about ash, not knowing about fire?


"Ashpelt has a tortoiseshell like design across her fur- splotches of light/dark grays, light/dark browns, white and black for colors."
--
You've seen a cat like that?


"She has very wide amber eyes in order to see things even clearer in the harsh environment that all the cats live in;" <-- that should be a comma


"yet her range of sight beyond exactly where she is looking is still very undeveloped."
--
What do you mean? That is, why would it be underdeveloped? Cats have keen peripheral vision. Are you hinting that she has some mild blindness?


"and her tail is long as well in order to keep her balance better in places where footing is treacherous."
--
What kind of treacherous footing are you picturing?


"She's known for"
--
Who knows her for it?


"She's known for having random moments of grace/catlike finesse-"
--
She'd be catlike no matter what, since, with her being a cat and all, anything she does is like a cat. ...unless she's imitating a cricket or something. o.o


"you'd swear she was still a kit"
--
You might swear she was still a kit. I wouldn't.
What I'm saying is, stick to third-person pronouns.


"she's seen mostly as a cynic"
--
Who sees her that way?


"Yet her true beliefs are usually kept very, very quiet and well hidden. She wants the storm to finally pass, and wants to believe that one day all the fighting between everyone will stop."
--
But what about Clanhood? Is that part of her true beliefs, that she wants a Clan?


"Father: Sootclaw (Deceased)"
--
Same issue with the prefix here as before.


"yet he wouldn't dare to cross her in her teachings of their only kit"
--
You make it sound like if he spoke up she'd kill him.


"natural selection took course, so to speak, and only one kit came out alive.)"
--
I've heard of nature taking it's course, but I don't know about natural selection taking it's course. Sounds funny, but maybe it is a real phrase that I'm just not used to. Anyway, are you implying that only one kit made it because the mother lacked proper nutrition?


"Her noble actions however, brought about despair."
--
What was so noble about it? Training is something that almost everyone gets. It's self-improvement, not self-sacrifice.


"Training out alone with just her father and mother was a risky action to take- and the consequences still haunt her today. They had all traveled way too far for any assistance, and if any came at all- it would have been far too late."
--
What are you talking about?


"The rats eventually fled that day, but only after the lives of her mother and father were taken out right before her eyes."
--
What? Why?


You don't mean to say that they threw her into a rat hunt before she could even catch crickets, do you?


"she's always tried to keep as close to others as possible- although that very action tends to cause conflict in numerous ways"
--
She's clingy?


"After seeing what the fellow cats were like, she distinctly attempted to keep her views out of the normal conversation- taking up her fathers cynical nature simply because majority appeared to bend in that direction."
--
Wellll, I don't know that the majority is what you think it is. I suppose most characters have their cynical elements, but they're all very different in what direction they take it and how they apply it. Not everyone's a snappy grouch.

[Jester]

"Even though it's a good name, how would they know about ash, not knowing about fire?"
--
That's a very good point... I'll just change her name to Graypelt, and change her color to gray. If it's still available, that is.


"You've seen a cat like that?"
--
I've seen tortoiseshell cats with numerous colors, but with changing her name- I've changed her coloring as well.


"What do you mean? That is, why would it be underdeveloped? Cats have keen peripheral vision. Are you hinting that she has some mild blindness?"
--
I've changed it to a disability, makes it much more plausible than my idea of just straight up naivety.


"What kind of treacherous footing are you picturing?"
--
The rocks and things in the enclosure like place that they're in. I'd assume that the walls are not really flat and smooth, but at least capable of some climbing? That's a bad on my part though, I'm still not totally familiar with the areas everyone is working with besides just the setting on the side. Could you explain it to me a little more?


"Who knows her for it?"
--
Changed to her father~


"She'd be catlike no matter what, since, with her being a cat and all, anything she does is like a cat. ...unless she's imitating a cricket or something. o.o"
--
Very true... however with her disability, I'd like to play her as if she weren't as able of those feats as others. A little klutzier, I suppose- if that's alright?


"You might swear she was still a kit. I wouldn't.
What I'm saying is, stick to third-person pronouns."
--
Right! Changed.


"Who sees her that way?"
--
Changed the wording to better explain her mindset instead of viewing it from someone's point of view~

"But what about Clanhood? Is that part of her true beliefs, that she wants a Clan?"
--
I see it as she has a hope for a Clan, yet doesn't think it would happen, and if it did- there'd be many rough trials of leadership beforehand. Changed to better explain this~


"Same issue with the prefix here as before."
--
Changed to Boulderclaw~


"You make it sound like if he spoke up she'd kill him."
--
When I write out her bio sheet (cause I'm pretty sure we have to do that for the deceased?), it'll be easier to see that although she's very gentle- you should never mess with her kits, even if you're the papa~


"I've heard of nature taking it's course, but I don't know about natural selection taking it's course. Sounds funny, but maybe it is a real phrase that I'm just not used to. Anyway, are you implying that only one kit made it because the mother lacked proper nutrition?"
--
Maybe I did mess up the term, it's early in the morning- so it's bound to happen~! (Thinks back to Science) Yeah, Natural Selection is all about prey and the colors, and sickness... and yeah. *Laughs* But yes, dehydration and such, lack of proper meals. The setting seems to imply at least that much. I'll be sure to add in that she wasn't in the best of health.


"What was so noble about it? Training is something that almost everyone gets. It's self-improvement, not self-sacrifice."
--
Another good point~ I've changed it around to simply make it so that she wasn't involved in the incident, and has gone under tutelage of someone else.


"What are you talking about?"
--
Again, I'm not too sure of how everything works out in the newer setting if everyone is in conflict and stuff- I'd just assume they'd take the kits off somewhere in order to train them without the hassle of others interfering or something. Could you give a little explanation for this as well? I'm sure I'll pick it all up eventually, but for the bio itself- I'd appreciate the clarification.


"What? Why?

You don't mean to say that they threw her into a rat hunt before she could even catch crickets, do you?"
--
No, mostly that they went to an area where the chance of a rat attack was high. Changed though~ Added something much more plausible. xD


"She's clingy?"
--
Yes, but not to any select individuals as of yet. Mostly just that she'd rather not be alone. If she could be a part of a group- she'd love it, but she's almost too shy to get into one.


"Wellll, I don't know that the majority is what you think it is. I suppose most characters have their cynical elements, but they're all very different in what direction they take it and how they apply it. Not everyone's a snappy grouch."
--
Changed, because that was a bad on my part again~

[Ten]

"That's a very good point... I'll just change her name to Graypelt, and change her color to gray. If it's still available, that is."
--
Afraid not. The names thread has a taken prefixes list down at the bottom.


"The rocks and things in the enclosure like place that they're in. I'd assume that the walls are not really flat and smooth, but at least capable of some climbing? That's a bad on my part though, I'm still not totally familiar with the areas everyone is working with besides just the setting on the side. Could you explain it to me a little more?"
--
No problem. It's weird stuff, I know. Okay, the walls are rough and uneven, with some sides of rocks poking inward and some branches bending inward, but since the walls slant inward in order to close up at the top, it's hard to climb that surface more than a few feet off the ground, if even that. Most cats stay off the wall, as there's nothing to get at up there, and heat rises. The ground is pretty flat, but it's not like it's cut and polished marble. There are dips and rough spots and uneven places. Living here all her life, she would be used to this terrain and have most of the footing memorized, but if she's blind then her tail could still aid her some in that.

Helping?


"A little klutzier, I suppose- if that's alright?"
--
The guy I know who has partial blindness isn't very klutzy, probably because he walks slower. Does she run around a lot?


"When I write out her bio sheet (cause I'm pretty sure we have to do that for the deceased?),"
--
Oh no no no no no. If you won't be role playing a character, you don't need a bio for him or her. ;3 I suppose you got that idea from the Deceased board? That's for role play cats who've died during role play. Branchkit had quite the dramatic death.


"although she's very gentle- you should never mess with her kits, even if you're the papa~"
--
aha. I know what you mean.
Wait, so.... her mother was a Clanner and her father was a con?


"I'll be sure to add in that she wasn't in the best of health."
--
Okay, that'll do it.


"Again, I'm not too sure of how everything works out in the newer setting if everyone is in conflict and stuff- I'd just assume they'd take the kits off somewhere in order to train them without the hassle of others interfering or something. Could you give a little explanation for this as well? I'm sure I'll pick it all up eventually, but for the bio itself- I'd appreciate the clarification."
--
eheh, I was a little vague about it in the plot, wasn't I? >< Well, even with lots of cats disagreeing, fights aren't a constant -- everyone's too disorganized to even manage a real war. Now there are some cats who will get violent about politics if provoked, and there are some cats who will go up and provoke others, but cats don't really want to get themselves killed, and if there's a hunt going on, somebody would have to be more than a jerk to interrupt or mess it up (in fact, what's more likely is that the jerk will wait until after the hunt and then try to steal the kill from the tired hunters). There aren't any big danger spots, meaning there aren't any safer spots.


"Yes, but not to any select individuals as of yet. Mostly just that she'd rather not be alone. If she could be a part of a group- she'd love it, but she's almost too shy to get into one."
--
mm. I think I know what you mean. If that's a defining characteristic of hers, you might want to show it in her views or history.

[Jester]

"Afraid not. The names thread has a taken prefixes list down at the bottom."
--
Awe~ Totally missed it! I'll think of something different then. Could Granitepelt work? I'm not sure if they have granite in the enclosure... but it's another form of rock, and it comes in a variety of grays and blacks- which could work for her coloring.


"No problem. It's weird stuff, I know. Okay, the walls are rough and uneven, with some sides of rocks poking inward and some branches bending inward, but since the walls slant inward in order to close up at the top, it's hard to climb that surface more than a few feet off the ground, if even that. Most cats stay off the wall, as there's nothing to get at up there, and heat rises. The ground is pretty flat, but it's not like it's cut and polished marble. There are dips and rough spots and uneven places. Living here all her life, she would be used to this terrain and have most of the footing memorized, but if she's blind then her tail could still aid her some in that.

Helping?"
--
Yes! Very much so~ Thank you so much!! *Looks through her words once more to make them more accurate according to your description.* I've included that her tail is used mostly for walking/running.


"The guy I know who has partial blindness isn't very klutzy, probably because he walks slower. Does she run around a lot?"
--
Yeah, she's pretty flighty too, all over the place, never quite sure of where exactly she wants to go. Etc.


"Oh no no no no no. If you won't be role playing a character, you don't need a bio for him or her. ;3 I suppose you got that idea from the Deceased board? That's for role play cats who've died during role play. Branchkit had quite the dramatic death."
--
Awesome! Yeah- originally I saw it and assumed we'd have to put in a bio for anyone that is mentioned in detail- you know, in case other role-players want to know who we'd be speaking of in a post. I'll be sure to hint at that although she's sweet, that she's still trouble if you mess with her. :3

Poor Branchkit though... Makes me curious, so I might just go look him up later once I have the time.


"aha. I know what you mean.
Wait, so.... her mother was a Clanner and her father was a con?"
--
Yeah, but I don't see it as "Oh the forbidden love between two different views~~" or anything. xD Simply that they tolerated both views despite it all- or rather Spottedheart just put up with him. I'll write out somewhere about their history together that'll better explain it, or it'll be something that comes out in different posts when she speaks of her mothers stories- including her father and mother and how they met and such.


"eheh, I was a little vague about it in the plot, wasn't I? >< Well, even with lots of cats disagreeing, fights aren't a constant -- everyone's too disorganized to even manage a real war. Now there are some cats who will get violent about politics if provoked, and there are some cats who will go up and provoke others, but cats don't really want to get themselves killed, and if there's a hunt going on, somebody would have to be more than a jerk to interrupt or mess it up (in fact, what's more likely is that the jerk will wait until after the hunt and then try to steal the kill from the tired hunters). There aren't any big danger spots, meaning there aren't any safer spots."
--
xD It's totally fine~ No worries. You've got a lot going on as it is on this site~ I just happen to function better with lots of details. Thank you very much for the information though! It's a lot easier to understand.


"mm. I think I know what you mean. If that's a defining characteristic of hers, you might want to show it in her views or history."
--
Good point, I shall definitely put it in.

[Ten]

"Could Granitepelt work? I'm not sure if they have granite in the enclosure... but it's another form of rock, and it comes in a variety of grays and blacks- which could work for her coloring."
--
I'm not sure if they have granite in the enclosure either. Gee wizz, I feel like I should be a zoologist and a geologist to be doing this job, these sort of things come up so often. x) I've always thought they wouldn't know specific types of trees (juniper, oak), and I would've assumed that'd apply to types of rock, too, since that's even less common knowledge. But anyway, can't granite be several kinds of colors, not just gray?


"Yeah, she's pretty flighty too, all over the place, never quite sure of where exactly she wants to go. Etc."
--
She's running spastic and she's blind?


"Poor Branchkit though..."
--
Grimykit killed her. ):
And Grimykit's no kitten.


"Simply that they tolerated both views despite it all"
--
Wanting a Clan isn't like wanting to change the legal drinking age. It's a big part of who each cat is. If you think you have a good backstory for two mates who only tolerate one another's major beliefs, I'm wondering why the father stuck around.


"You've got a lot going on as it is on this site~"
--
No, not as far as admin duties go, I don't. Should I rewrite some of the plot or lifestyle threads? Let me know what I need to do to make it clearer.

[Jester]

"I'm not sure if they have granite in the enclosure either. Gee wizz, I feel like I should be a zoologist and a geologist to be doing this job, these sort of things come up so often. x) I've always thought they wouldn't know specific types of trees (juniper, oak), and I would've assumed that'd apply to types of rock, too, since that's even less common knowledge. But anyway, can't granite be several kinds of colors, not just gray?"
--
xDD I blame all these earthy like questions on just having finished a science class- but yes, granite can range from pink to gray to all sorts of different shades of colors depending on the amount of minerals that are in each section of granite.

Mmm, but that makes a very good point- yet if you were to think about it in the long run (or in the case of many scribes), wouldn't limiting it in such a way really deplete the number of names a scribe could use? I'm sure the cats themselves wouldn't really know the names of each individual rock, tree, plant, etc. like we would, however maybe they have other ways of identifying them? It could end up really complicated though... huh... *attempts to ponder it more*

I'm slowly running out of ideas for her name though if she's going to be a gray cat, so if you've got any ideas up your sleeves, I'm all ears~ But if it comes down to it- I'm willing to change what she looks like.


"She's running spastic and she's blind?"
--
Every once in a while. xD She is naive, however her character will progress and mature as she's played. She's got to learn from her mistakes after all~

Question though, are there places where if a character needs to be played- and you don't really feel like playing it yourself (in case of one-on-one action points) is there a thread where openings are available for characters to be played who already have a back story and such?


"Grimykit killed her. ):
And Grimykit's no kitten."
--
D8 Bad Grimykit! However knowing that Grimykit isn't a kit makes me laugh... xDDD It's like calling a lion a kitten- just the idea makes me snicker. (Has to quote that one picture- "JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION- GET IN THE CAR!!!")


"Wanting a Clan isn't like wanting to change the legal drinking age. It's a big part of who each cat is. If you think you have a good backstory for two mates who only tolerate one another's major beliefs, I'm wondering why the father stuck around."
--
You make lots of good points. xD I approve. I was thinking of it being a kind of- "They didn't really talk about views, and Spottedheart got impregnated and Boulderclaw would have at least some pride in his own young" or something to that effect. If that seems too far fetched, just let me know- and I'll stir up something new. >3


"No, not as far as admin duties go, I don't. Should I rewrite some of the plot or lifestyle threads? Let me know what I need to do to make it clearer."
--
I think some clarification in some areas would be greatly advised, it's one of those situations where I'd assume that the more there is to know about a setting the better. If you need any help whatsoever, please let me know. I'm more than willing to ask any questions that might come up in order to help explain thoroughly- and I'm more than willing to help you in the process as well.

[Ten]

"yet if you were to think about it in the long run (or in the case of many scribes), wouldn't limiting it in such a way really deplete the number of names a scribe could use?"
--
The words available for Starless names are very limited, yes, which is why I'm more lenient here (allowing less honorable and less conventional descriptions) than I have been for other settings.


"I'm slowly running out of ideas for her name though if she's going to be a gray cat, so if you've got any ideas up your sleeves, I'm all ears~ But if it comes down to it- I'm willing to change what she looks like."
--
mm... Livid can mean bluish gray, and then you have Boulder and size prefixes. But yeah, in this case it might be easier to fit a description to a name than find a name for a description. We have a lot of gray cats.


"Every once in a while. xD She is naive,"
--
Have you ever tried to run with your eyes closed?
Maybe it's different if you're used to being blind. I wouldn't know.


"Question though, are there places where if a character needs to be played- and you don't really feel like playing it yourself (in case of one-on-one action points) is there a thread where openings are available for characters to be played who already have a back story and such?"
--
um um um. Since I'm not really sure what you mean, I'll say no, we don't have that.
You mean, like... cats you can play without writing the bio yourself? Or... borrowing someone else's character?


"D8 Bad Grimykit!"
--
You don't know the half of it. >>


"However knowing that Grimykit isn't a kit makes me laugh..."
--
Yeah. That reminds me of all those folks who make those da-super-evulz-crazy-serial-killa characters and try to make them seem all intimidating and junk. I say you shouldn't try to make your character impossible to look down on; you'll fail.


"You make lots of good points. xD I approve."
--
Why thank you. ^^


"They didn't really talk about views"
--
This is the far-fetched part.


It's always up to you, of course, but a couple of possibilities: her mother had a fling with any ol' tom, not caring to get to know him first, and it turns out he had a little bit of interest in his kits and came back to see them, but not really take on any responsibility for himself (and she says if you won't help with the raising, then you don't get to share your doctrine). Or, her mother could choose not to be shallow slut; she could take the traditional family route and pick a nice Clanner tom who's a little "rough around the edges", so to speak -- he wants a Clan, but can be very pessimistic about it ever coming around. Her mother is a realist too and doesn't clash with his pessimism herself, but she wants to protect her innocent little kits from his depressing rants and doesn't want to crush their youthful optimism/innocence/whatever while it lasts because this just might be the generation that accomplishes something.


Hey, thanks about the clarification help offer. I'll send you a pm.

[Jester]

"The words available for Starless names are very limited, yes, which is why I'm more lenient here (allowing less honorable and less conventional descriptions) than I have been for other settings."
--
Mmm, that makes sense.


"mm... Livid can mean bluish gray, and then you have Boulder and size prefixes. But yeah, in this case it might be easier to fit a description to a name than find a name for a description. We have a lot of gray cats."
--
Huh- I've never heard it used that way before. xD Whenever I heard the word 'livid' I always assumed it meant really angry or fed-up. Huh, maybe I should do some word hunting. *amused* I actually like Lividpelt though. 83


"Have you ever tried to run with your eyes closed?
Maybe it's different if you're used to being blind. I wouldn't know."
--
Lol, I'm proud to say as a 18 year old girl, I have. *laughs* It's fun, however very scary. I'll tweak it around though, make her a little more cautious.


"um um um. Since I'm not really sure what you mean, I'll say no, we don't have that.
You mean, like... cats you can play without writing the bio yourself? Or... borrowing someone else's character?"
--
Yeah, it's like adopting a role that needs to be played. There's a basic outline of a character, yet the person who plays it decides for the most part how they act and such- although there could be guidance by the person who first initiated the offer of a character if it's needed or suggested.


"Yeah. That reminds me of all those folks who make those da-super-evulz-crazy-serial-killa characters and try to make them seem all intimidating and junk. I say you shouldn't try to make your character impossible to look down on; you'll fail."
--
xDD Agreed- I attempted to write a character like that a looooong, loooooong time ago. Wasn't that much fun. xD It's amusing to make them have weaknesses and vulnerabilities.


"This is the far-fetched part.


It's always up to you, of course, but a couple of possibilities: her mother had a fling with any ol' tom, not caring to get to know him first, and it turns out he had a little bit of interest in his kits and came back to see them, but not really take on any responsibility for himself (and she says if you won't help with the raising, then you don't get to share your doctrine). Or, her mother could choose not to be shallow slut; she could take the traditional family route and pick a nice Clanner tom who's a little "rough around the edges", so to speak -- he wants a Clan, but can be very pessimistic about it ever coming around. Her mother is a realist too and doesn't clash with his pessimism herself, but she wants to protect her innocent little kits from his depressing rants and doesn't want to crush their youthful optimism/innocence/whatever while it lasts because this just might be the generation that accomplishes something."
--
Mmmm, very understandable now that I think about it. I like the last one- all rough around the edges and such. I'll change the history section some in order to include that. Thank you so much for the help!! 83

[Ten]

"Whenever I heard the word 'livid' I always assumed it meant really angry or fed-up."
--
Yeah, that's how I've always heard it, but I think it comes from the whole face-changing-color-because-you're-so-mad thing.


"It's fun, however very scary."
--
huh. When I close my eyes, I find it hard to walk quickly -- it's like my brain is saying "NOT ALLOWED *imposes speed limit*" and I'm physically stilted if I try to go faster, but I'm guessing that's a lack of practice plus my cautious demeanor.


"Yeah, it's like adopting a role that needs to be played."
--
The only time we ever do anything like that is in a rat hunt when a rat needs to be running away and fighting for its life. Rats don't get bios, though.


/rereads history


"Lividpelt first received her name when Boulderclaw noticed how similar her markings were to his own, proud to have a daughter- he named her as similar to himself as he was able."
--
Right now, the appositive more or less says that his markings were proud to have a daughter. That little hypen-thing you've got going there could be modified a little to show it's actually a dash, but a semicolon would be okay there too. Also, I think you mean that he named her as similarly to himself or that he gave her as similar of a name as he was able.


"As she grew, her mother taught her the ways and past tales of their homeland. Boulderclaw- who was always a little rough around the edges- ranted often about his views on the situation that they lived in;"
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What were those views? This seems like it'd be a significant part of her early life. With the history being important in determining what she will think, it'd be good to mention what sort of thing her father said in his rants.

Those little hypens can become dashes or commas. Whichever works for you.


"even despite being the typical Clanner that he was, however Spottedheart easily put up with his behavior until it came to the teachings of their only kit."
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Even despite.... however? A little bit of syntax reconstruction is in order. A semicolon, as you know, is like a period/endmark that has buddied-up with the beginning of another sentence, so treat this part here as a sentence of its own (grammar-wise, that is).

Wait, Spottedheart didn't let Boulderclaw rant in front of Lividkit? ah. She wouldn't have heard any of it, then.


"She refused to let his ways ruin Lividpelt's little dreams."
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What were her little dreams?


"(Lividpelt was the only kit who survived birth due to Spottedheart being malnourished at the time.)"
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Parenthesis need to be part of a sentence. You can't stand on your own when you're all bent and off-balance like that.

Anyway, this part seems a little thrown on to the end, you know? You can incorporate it into the beginning if you'd like and maybe discuss why Spottedheart wasn't getting enough food and what she expected as far as litter-size (and whether she felt let-down with only one kit), or if you don't consider it important you can delete it since a single-kit litter isn't unusual enough to demand an explanation.


"Before Lividpelt was even able to begin her first tutoring lesson under her father, both of her parents were bitten on a routine hunt and passed away. A friend of the two called Lightfang returned unscathed and took Lividpelt under his care out of respect for the two who fought along side him. Since Lividpelt learned of what happened with her parents on their hunt, she's always attempted to stick together in a group rather than be on her own. Lightfang taught her that as a kit, even though she may be in a group- there's no guarantee that her life would ever be fully secured in the paws of others."
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Were neither of them emotionally effected by the two deaths? I would assume so, but it doesn't show in the passage.