|
|
Post by whisperwind on Feb 21, 2010 22:00:29 GMT -5
Role player| whisperwind or dmetri. _____ Name| whisperkit (whisperwind) Gender| she-cat Physical Description| Her eyes are a medium green that are incapable of seeing colour. Her condition is rare and for the longest time she was unaware that she was different. Her fur is the pale sandy colour that blends into the sand in her surroundings, with dark patches that seem to swirl across her pelt. She is a fairly sleek cat and her best attributes are swiftness and agility. The two have always come easily for her. Views| She has always been one to see deeper into meanings and interpret her own meanings from things. Everything in nature had a meaning. Especially the sun and rain. The two contrasting forces. Usually the two could predict onset feuds. This was of course partially because when water is low it is in high demand and cats will do anything for survival. The other half was due to the greed of cats. Despite the mixed thoughts of others, she still views the gather cats as a clan. A clan could still have problems and be a clan just the same as a family could be broken but still reffered to as a family. Before her father had passed on he too spoke of the warrior code and how it worked. She had fallen in love with the efficiency and care that guided the warrior code. She vowed that she would try to bring back the old ways. Even if they were not traveling back to the original territory they could be a clan. There would always be those apposed to the idea but eventually things could sort themselves out. The majority of the cats wanted a clan and therefore that made it possible. Whisperwind would do anything for her 'clan'. As the warrior code stated, her life should be sacrificed for the better of the clan. Even if it wasn't well established. Because of her desire for the clan's best she would be blessed to hold a position of authority. However there are others who could hold the position with the same dignity if not more. She knows in her heart that they need to escape their lifestyle bit by bit. The only way this could be achieved was to restart the clan life. Eventually they could ban together and possibly find an escape. Kin| Sandpelt- father-deceased Nightstorm-mother deceased no litter mates History| Whisperwind was a clan born cat and both her mother was killed from an unfortunate onset of heatstroke. With a dry spell across the land, her mate missing and just after delivering kits she was hit with a series of events that lead to her untimely passing. her mate was also taken quickly after. An attack from a rat resulted in his last breaths. Unlike most cats Whisperwind is completely colourblind. Although its not much when comparing prey to the sand since both are usually close in colour. The contrast between the two is different for her than others. When all you see are shades of grey they are easily differentiated from one another. Because of this condition, she always found other things to admire in nature. She had a different interpretation of beauty when it came to scenery. Since she is only a kit she has not experienced much. What she has, have been harsh. Never knowing her mother she grew close to those close to her age and father. They were what she called a family. When her father was torn away she was not fully able to understand. When she stared down at him his eyes were glazed and the last remnants of blood were being washed away by those close to him in the camp. Poison cared not for a warriors status. Even for a strong warrior it was deadly. She knew he was not sleeping because his flank didn't rise and his eyes seemed clouded, and the smallest piece of debris was in the corner of his eye. If he had been awake he would have rubbed it out. Instead he lay silent and motionless. The only movement she could detect was from the tongues working on his pelt. Even these were not enough to be life. She has chosen to follow in his footsteps, and try to lead the cats into a clan lifestyle. Picture| when she grows up  |
|
|
|
Post by whisperwind on Feb 21, 2010 23:08:55 GMT -5
I chose whisperwind because the wind can travel through the cracks and create a sound that could either be a moaining or a soft whisping. Since she is a cherrier cat I chose the whispy/whispering effect.
Im not quite sure about this... Is there an actual exit... because i would like to know what hapens to the bodies of the deceased? also have the rocks caved in at all to create a possible exit? Im still looking for this answer throughout the site...
|
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Feb 22, 2010 19:51:09 GMT -5
In your Physical Description paragraph, you forgot to capitalize a few sentences -- enough that I won't point out each one there, but there's only a few. You'll have an easy time finding and fixing the ones there. I'll point out later ones if I see any.
"the pale sandy colour that seemlessly blends into the sand in her surroundings,"
--
It may not seem like a big deal, but this does make a significant difference to the description: the terrain isn't all sand. Even if it were, her color wouldn't blend seamlessly, or else she'd have to be a chameleon.
"with dark patches that seem to swirl across her pelt."
--
So she's a classic tabby?
"her best attribute is swiftness and agility."
--
Those are two different attributes.
"When hunting or mock fighting with the other kits she was never the one to overpower them unless by pure endurance."
--
So she has a lot of endurance, too?
I'm wondering why you mentioned hunting -- of course she wouldn't overpower another kit while hunting, and if she didn't overpower her prey that just means it got away.
"She has always been one to see deeper into meanings and interpurate" <-- interpret?
"Everything in nature had a meaning." <-- comma
"The two contrsting forces." <-- contrasting
"usually the two could predict onset fueds." <-- feuds
By the way, there's a spellcheck button you can use when making a post. I find it really useful when I'm not on firefox.
"This was of course partially because when water is low it is in high demand and cats will do anything for survival."
--
What's the other part of it?
"Despite the mixed thoughts"
--
What do you mean?
"she still views the gather cats as a clan."
--
Despite that they do not act like a unified group nor have a leader?
"Before her father had passed on he too spoke"
--
Who else spoke about it?
"of the warriors code and how it worked. She had fallen in love with the efficiency and care that guided the warriors code."
--
Warrior code has no "s".
"There would always be those in and those who were out."
--
What do you mean?
"being together was what made them different from a rouge."
--
You mean rogue? Seeing as there is no Clan at the moment, there can't be the concept of rogue as far as the Erinland definition goes. If you just mean rogue, though, as in rule-breaker, that's different.
"Whispherwind would do anything for her clan."
--
I'm guessing you mean if there were one, right? mmkay.
You should take out that extra "h" there, in Whisperwind.
"To fight for the clans" <-- clan's
"is equivilent to her own survival." <-- is equivilant to fighting for her own survival?
"She would put her life in"
--
Put her life in what?
"because of her desire" <-- capitalize because
"for the clan's best she would be blessed to hold a position of authority."
--
meaning she would feel blessed if she did, yes? Just checking.
"This is because she acknowledges that they are trapped."
--
Wait, she would be blessed to hold authority because she knows they're trapped?
"She knows in her heart that they need to escape their lifestyle bit by bit."
--
What do you mean?
"Whisperwind was a clanborn cat and both her mother was killed from an unfortunate onset of heatstroke. With a dry spell across the land, her mate missing and just after delivering kits she was hit with a series of events that lead to her untimely passing. her mate was also taken quickly after. An atack from a rat resulted in his last breaths."
--
This all belongs in the History section. The Kin section just tells us who's who.
"Although its" <-- it's
"Also the sky seems to mesh into the sky."
--
huh?
"She had a different kind of beauty"
--
You mean she has a different understanding or way of seeing beauty?
"the every day constrasts she managed to spy out from the camp."
--
What camp? Has her family claimed a territory?
"Since she is only a kit she has not experienced much. Those that she has experienced have been harsh."
--
I take it you mean something like... "Since she is only a kit she has not had many experiences. Those that she has have been harsh."
"Never knowing her mother she grew close to her den mates and father."
--
Who are her denmates? Who nursed her?
"Her father had been well known"
--
To whom?
"Depite it, posoin cared not for a warriors satus"
--
You mean poison cared not for a warriors status. "Despite" doesn't fit here unless you change it to "Desptie this, poison killed him." Wait a minute. Where'd the poison come from?
"Her heart had felt more heartache than most kits would be able to comprehend."
--
No, many kits here could comprehend that.
"Now even her naming ceremony which would be any time soon seemed dampened but at the same time rekindled."
--
Who will name her?
"she would follow into the pawstep" <-- pawsteps?
"of her warrior ancestors."
--
You don't mean StarClan, do you?
"She would prove to be the best."
--
Why are you using conditional tense?
"I chose whisperwind because the wind can travel through the cracks and create a sound that could either be a moaining or a soft whisping."
--
Does she look like a whisper?
"Since she is a cherrier cat"
--
A what?
"Im not quite sure about this... Is there an actual exit... because i would like to know what hapens to the bodies of the deceased? also have the rocks caved in at all to create a possible exit? Im still looking for this answer throughout the site..."
--
I'll be happy to clear this up for you. The reason you haven't read anything anywhere about an exit is because there isn't one. They're trapped with no way out, for their entire lives.
It's not as bad as it sounds.
As for bodies, that's an excellent question. It's great that you're really thinking about how life is different for them. Right now, that's still a bit of a problem for them. There is a boneyard where cats tend to gather the corpses, but the terrain is so rocky (for the most part it's one slab of stone with some sand and dust on top; it's not like it's a bunch of little rocks you could dig in) that burying cats is impossible.
|
|
|
|
Post by whisperwind on Feb 22, 2010 21:57:36 GMT -5
In your Physical Description paragraph, you forgot to capitalize a few sentences -- enough that I won't point out each one there, but there's only a few. You'll have an easy time finding and fixing the ones there. I'll point out later ones if I see any.
"the pale sandy colour that seemlessly blends into the sand in her surroundings,"
--
It may not seem like a big deal, but this does make a significant difference to the description: the terrain isn't all sand. Even if it were, her color wouldn't blend seamlessly, or else she'd have to be a chameleon.
*******it was done more as a hyberbole that literal. but ill change it to a literal...
"with dark patches that seem to swirl across her pelt."
--
So she's a classic tabby?
***** clasic tabby has stripes. these are seen on bengals. I do have a photo to show it.
"her best attribute is swiftness and agility."
--
Those are two different attributes.
****merely missed an s on atributes.
"When hunting or mock fighting with the other kits she was never the one to overpower them unless by pure endurance."
--
So she has a lot of endurance, too?
I'm wondering why you mentioned hunting -- of course she wouldn't overpower another kit while hunting, and if she didn't overpower her prey that just means it got away.
"She has always been one to see deeper into meanings and interpurate" <-- interpret?
******yep...
"Everything in nature had a meaning." <-- comma
"The two contrsting forces." <-- contrasting
********like i said working on a laptop. I dunno if you have one or not but those are fantasic for errors. Mine has bad keys. I try not to use it often but sometimes i need to use it rather than the actual computer.
"usually the two could predict onset fueds." <-- feuds
By the way, there's a spellcheck button you can use when making a post. I find it really useful when I'm not on firefox.
*******yeah as you can tell I didn't use it lol
"This was of course partially because when water is low it is in high demand and cats will do anything for survival."
--
What's the other part of it?
******cats who do not want a clan are greedy.
"Despite the mixed thoughts"
--
What do you mean?
******of others in the enclosure. ill specify on it.
"she still views the gather cats as a clan."
--
Despite that they do not act like a unified group nor have a leader?
******yes. she is an optimist and believes that with some persuasion they can unite again.
"Before her father had passed on he too spoke"
--
Who else spoke about it?
******well there are other cats in the group looking for a clan to be formed. Woodstripe certainly is.
"of the warriors code and how it worked. She had fallen in love with the efficiency and care that guided the warriors code."
--
Warrior code has no "s".
***will fix
"There would always be those in and those who were out."
--
What do you mean?
***********in for the idea of rekindling the idea of a clan.
"being together was what made them different from a rouge."
--
You mean rogue? Seeing as there is no Clan at the moment, there can't be the concept of rogue as far as the Erinland definition goes. If you just mean rogue, though, as in rule-breaker, that's different.
******* Ill have to just remove it...
"Whispherwind would do anything for her clan."
--
I'm guessing you mean if there were one, right? mmkay.
You should take out that extra "h" there, in Whisperwind.
**** I already said that she viewed them as a clan, despite its poor construction.
"To fight for the clans" <-- clan's
"is equivilent to her own survival." <-- is equivilant to fighting for her own survival?
*********yes...
"She would put her life in"
--
Put her life in what?
******into restarting a clan
"because of her desire" <-- capitalize because
"for the clan's best she would be blessed to hold a position of authority."
--
meaning she would feel blessed if she did, yes? Just checking.
*********yes... changed to mesh in better.
"This is because she acknowledges that they are trapped."
--
Wait, she would be blessed to hold authority because she knows they're trapped?
******I probably edited soething out and fogot to double check it...
"She knows in her heart that they need to escape their lifestyle bit by bit."
--
What do you mean?
*******Fixed up again...
"Whisperwind was a clanborn cat and both her mother was killed from an unfortunate onset of heatstroke. With a dry spell across the land, her mate missing and just after delivering kits she was hit with a series of events that lead to her untimely passing. her mate was also taken quickly after. An atack from a rat resulted in his last breaths."
--
This all belongs in the History section. The Kin section just tells us who's who.
"Although its" <-- it's
"Also the sky seems to mesh into the sky."
--
huh?
"She had a different kind of beauty"
--
You mean she has a different understanding or way of seeing beauty?
"the every day constrasts she managed to spy out from the camp."
--
What camp? Has her family claimed a territory?
"Since she is only a kit she has not experienced much. Those that she has experienced have been harsh."
--
I take it you mean something like... "Since she is only a kit she has not had many experiences. Those that she has have been harsh."
*********yep
"Never knowing her mother she grew close to her den mates and father."
--
Who are her denmates? Who nursed her?
*****changed...
"Her father had been well known"
--
To whom?
***those who wanted to start a clan again.
"Depite it, posoin cared not for a warriors satus"
--
You mean poison cared not for a warriors status. "Despite" doesn't fit here unless you change it to "Desptie this, poison killed him." Wait a minute. Where'd the poison come from?
"Her heart had felt more heartache than most kits would be able to comprehend."
--
No, many kits here could comprehend that.
*******well I figured I should put it. Some acvtually are. Especially in this place where bones are scattered in a corner....
"Now even her naming ceremony which would be any time soon seemed dampened but at the same time rekindled."
--
Who will name her?
******Removed
"she would follow into the pawstep" <-- pawsteps?
*****yep
"of her warrior ancestors."
--
You don't mean StarClan, do you?
*********actually i kind of do. Im refferin to those who followed the warriors code. most just happen to be dead...
"I chose whisperwind because the wind can travel through the cracks and create a sound that could either be a moaining or a soft whisping."
--
Does she look like a whisper?
***no but the swirls on her pelt are kind of drifting like the wind does... Im not sure if thats going to deep for a name. i just figured since it would be in their everyday surroundings.
"Since she is a cherrier cat"
--
A what?
**** my bad. I was typing on my laptop. Cheerier. like happier, more optimistic... bad spelling...
"Im not quite sure about this... Is there an actual exit... because i would like to know what hapens to the bodies of the deceased? also have the rocks caved in at all to create a possible exit? Im still looking for this answer throughout the site..."
--
I'll be happy to clear this up for you. The reason you haven't read anything anywhere about an exit is because there isn't one. They're trapped with no way out, for their entire lives.
It's not as bad as it sounds.
As for bodies, that's an excellent question. It's great that you're really thinking about how life is different for them. Right now, that's still a bit of a problem for them. There is a boneyard where cats tend to gather the corpses, but the terrain is so rocky (for the most part it's one slab of stone with some sand and dust on top; it's not like it's a bunch of little rocks you could dig in) that burying cats is impossible.
*********ok cause i was reading one where they were thinking of getting an exit for the bodies. but it was only an idea. no one has extrapolated on that.
done fixing and answering... Please just modify the old one so I can see which you have approved of the changes so im not rereading stuff... It makes it easier fo both o us...
|
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Feb 23, 2010 18:37:01 GMT -5
"it was done more as a hyberbole"
--
aha. I thought you were serious about it.
"clasic tabby has stripes. these are seen on bengals."
--
She's a spotted tabby?
"cats who do not want a clan are greedy."
--
Why does she believe that?
"yes. she is an optimist and believes that with some persuasion they can unite again."
--
But she believes that they already are a Clan, just disunited? mmkay.
"well there are other cats in the group looking for a clan to be formed. Woodstripe certainly is."
--
This is true. What jolted me is that you used "too" without beforehand making mention of anyone who did the same.
"in for the idea of rekindling the idea of a clan."
--
Clarify that in there.
"changed..."
--
I'd prefer for you to answer with the information in your reply post. I don't want to have to reread the bio again until I have to (it's a lot to go through, that's all).
"those who wanted to start a clan again."
--
A bunch of characters that aren't yours?
"actually i kind of do. Im refferin to those who followed the warriors code. most just happen to be dead..."
--
Okay, you mean dead ancestors, which existed, and not StarClan, which doesn't.
"Does she look like a whisper?
***no"
--
Okay. What would they name her after then?
"ok cause i was reading one where they were thinking of getting an exit for the bodies."
--
A role play thread? Where was that?
"Please just modify the old one"
--
The old one what? My old post? That would get messy. I find regular posting to work well enough, don't you? You don't have to reread anything. If you meant something else, though... well, I could consider a formatting suggestion.
|
|
|
|
Post by whisperwind on Feb 23, 2010 21:10:27 GMT -5
"it was done more as a hyberbole"
--
aha. I thought you were serious about it.
******no i am a very metaphorical writer.
"clasic tabby has stripes. these are seen on bengals."
--
She's a spotted tabby?
*****its more like patches but not really. It is swirls. like take a paintbrush and move it aroud on a paper at random. Or the rings seen in wood. there is a picture.
"cats who do not want a clan are greedy."
--
Why does she believe that?
*****her mother died of lack of water. people fight over territories even though they could share it.
"yes. she is an optimist and believes that with some persuasion they can unite again."
--
But she believes that they already are a Clan, just disunited? mmkay.
*********A family is still a family even if they are fighting is it not?
"well there are other cats in the group looking for a clan to be formed. Woodstripe certainly is."
--
This is true. What jolted me is that you used "too" without beforehand making mention of anyone who did the same.
*******well the place is slightly detached... I mean not all the cats are friends. Its very divided. And no i don't know all the cats views. So i just used a vague term. There are no cats that can just enter yet here I am throwing a cat into the plot. there wil most likey be others like that so a vague term seemed best.
"in for the idea of rekindling the idea of a clan."
--
Clarify that in there.
"those who wanted to start a clan again."
--
A bunch of characters that aren't yours?
******* yes so one like your character would probably be an example of it.
"actually i kind of do. Im refferin to those who followed the warriors code. most just happen to be dead..."
--
Okay, you mean dead ancestors, which existed, and not StarClan, which doesn't.
*******more or less yes.
"Does she look like a whisper?
***no"
--
Okay. What would they name her after then?
********ok her pelt has patches that seem to swirl around it. Kind of metophorically like the wind that swirls around them...
"ok cause i was reading one where they were thinking of getting an exit for the bodies."
--
A role play thread? Where was that?
********it was with your character woodstripe. They were debating whether it was better to let a body rot or be eaten by scavengers. And one suggestion was to dig a hole and push the body up through it...
|
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Feb 23, 2010 21:42:48 GMT -5
"its more like patches but not really. It is swirls. like take a paintbrush and move it aroud on a paper at random. Or the rings seen in wood. there is a picture."
--
The picture is of a bengal, and since she can't be a bengal, I'm trying to figure out what she is. Have you looked up types of tabbies?
"her mother died of lack of water. people fight over territories even though they could share it."
--
Cats, you mean. mmkay, that's a major point.
"A bunch of characters that aren't yours?
******* yes so one like your character would probably be an example of it."
--
No, you don't get to control other people's charaters. At all.
"more or less yes."
--
What do you mean, more or less?
"ok her pelt has patches that seem to swirl around it. Kind of metophorically like the wind that swirls around them... "
--
You don't know what a metaphor is, do you?
"it was with your character woodstripe. They were debating whether it was better to let a body rot or be eaten by scavengers."
--
Sounds familiar...
"And one suggestion was to dig a hole and push the body up through it..."
--
Doesn't sound so familiar.
What url was this?
|
|
|
|
Post by whisperwind on Feb 23, 2010 22:10:23 GMT -5
"its more like patches but not really. It is swirls. like take a paintbrush and move it aroud on a paper at random. Or the rings seen in wood. there is a picture."
--
The picture is of a bengal, and since she can't be a bengal, I'm trying to figure out what she is. Have you looked up types of tabbies?
*******why cant she be a bengal? they were not all tabies before... ther was no specification that they can only be tabbies... But to just give in on the type of design... sokoke. So modified classic.
As a question on the side... WHy are there prices for a classic tabby and such. i understand rare things. but those are everyday and really dont have a reason to be prices... Are these only for a second character?
"her mother died of lack of water. people fight over territories even though they could share it."
--
Cats, you mean. mmkay, that's a major point.
****WOOOOOOW cant believe i put people lol
"A bunch of characters that aren't yours?
******* yes so one like your character would probably be an example of it."
--
No, you don't get to control other people's charaters. At all.
******i understand that. its just being vague. I can't control others and such so how do you expect me to put in the detail. I know all about godmoding and the rules of sites. I am definitely on a few. I can't be vague or specific apparently. What do you want me t do... go around and ask ever character if they want to pretend as if they knew my father/ thats seems a bit farfertched... You can just as easily allow me to be vague and say that he was a likeable cat and was well know for his ideologies can you not?
"more or less yes."
--
What do you mean, more or less?
******she believes in the warriors code because her father has spoke to her about it before he died. Therefore it may or may not exist but her belief sas it does. So yes she is speaking of the anncestry but she also believes that they go to starclan even if other cats dont...
"ok her pelt has patches that seem to swirl around it. Kind of metophorically like the wind that swirls around them... "
--
You don't know what a metaphor is, do you?
Actually yes I do and I find it rather insulting that you would suggest that i dont. Im sorry I tried to short hand some things.
Its a comparison. It can be done between two things that seemingly have no connection. Unlike a simile it doesn't use the words like or as.
Now in another attempt to explain this. We have to use things that surround them in their environment. You may not be able to see wind unless its kicking it up in the den area. Even so you can feel it swirling around. So that is where the wind comes from.
Whisphers can be soft and gentle or abrupt. like a stage whisper. In a place of so much secrecy you not only hear the wind "speaking" but the hushed voices of the cats in the area. These are things that are all around them. That is why i personally find the root whispher suitable.
does that make sense to you?
"it was with your character woodstripe. They were debating whether it was better to let a body rot or be eaten by scavengers."
--
Sounds familiar...
"And one suggestion was to dig a hole and push the body up through it..."
--
Doesn't sound so familiar.
What url was this?
|
|
|
|
Post by whisperwind on Feb 23, 2010 22:12:02 GMT -5
Re: Insanity and Attempts (open)
« Reply #3 on Sept 18, 2008, 3:41pm »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woodstripe cleared her throat. "Of course, you know the current options: either expend energy working through the rocky soil to bury the corpse, shove the body up to the wall so that scavengers can eat bits through the cracks, diminishing it over time, or leave the cat at their death-place and let the rats and insects take over. I'd like to know your individual beliefs on this issue."
|
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Feb 24, 2010 19:15:04 GMT -5
"why cant she be a bengal?"
--
These cats are ferals, not purebreds.
"they were not all tabies before... ther was no specification that they can only be tabbies..."
--
That's correct. Cats may be solid colors or torties.
"But to just give in on the type of design... sokoke."
--
Isn't that a breed?
"As a question on the side... WHy are there prices for a classic tabby and such. i understand rare things. but those are everyday and really dont have a reason to be prices..."
--
They're not super-rare, no, but they are less common, so they're optional rewards for active members (i.e. members who post enough to have enough LTs). It's not that you're discouraged from having those types of cats; it's that you're encouraged to earn them.
"Are these only for a second character?"
--
You mean do the prices not apply to first characters? No, they do apply to all cats.
"I can't be vague or specific apparently. What do you want me t do... go around and ask ever character if they want to pretend as if they knew my father/ thats seems a bit farfertched..."
--
Nope, you just don't get to decide what other characters know. You control what your characters know and what they do, and that's all. That should be enough. It's not important for her father to be famous, is it?
"she believes in the warriors code because her father has spoke to her about it before he died. Therefore it may or may not exist but her belief sas it does."
--
How could the warrior code not exist if cats have spoken about it? It's an idea, not a being.
"So yes she is speaking of the anncestry but she also believes that they go to starclan even if other cats dont..."
--
Wait, she believes in StarClan? That's not possible.
"Its a comparison."
--
It's a little more than that. What you're going for is called an analogy.
"You may not be able to see wind unless its kicking it up in the den area."
--
What do you mean by den area?
"Even so you can feel it swirling around. So that is where the wind comes from."
--
The wind comes from me feeling it?
If what you're going for is that the wind swirls and her fur pattern swirls, that doesn't work because wind (a) is invisible and (b) can go in any direction; it doesn't always swirl.
"Whisphers can be soft and gentle or abrupt. like a stage whisper. In a place of so much secrecy you not only hear the wind 'speaking' but the hushed voices of the cats in the area. These are things that are all around them."
--
What does it have to do with the cat?
"That is why i personally find the root whispher suitable."
--
Question: can you impersonally find something suitable?
Just curious.
|
|
