Warriors Journals: The Sight

[duckyaisha]

I think that for all Jerkface's brattiness, he should've said something against this. He seemed like the kind of cat that wouldn't give a crap about his destiny and do what he wanted. I was wrong. The Erins would never make him a likable character.

[Ten]

"I think that for all Jerkface's brattiness, he should've said something against this. He seemed like the kind of cat that wouldn't give a crap about his destiny and do what he wanted."
---
True, but the Erins like to avoid writing anything I'd enjoy.

Chapter 17
Alternative Title: Slash Fans Rejoice?

Hollypaw wants to go hunt, but Brook reminds her she should be helping Leafpool.

Hollypaw sighed.

"Such a troubled sigh for one so young," Brook meowed, her gray eyes softening with concern.

As if everyone below a certain age has lives of carefree bliss.

Brook has a heartfelt talk with Hollypaw about her future and then does this.

Brook ran her the tip of her tail down Hollypaw's back.

First of all, she's not sure if that's a missed typo or what. Second of all, she's loosing track of who's paired up with whom. Didn't Hollypaw tail-stroke Jerkface, and then some she-cat made a pass at Hollypaw? Anyway, Erin Hunter treats readers to more of this destiny crap.

"It is hard for someone so young to make such big choices," the mountain cat went on. "When I was with the Tribe of Rushing Water, there were no such choices. All duties were divided into hunting or guarding. Prey-hunters like me were thin and lithe; guards were stocky and strong. The decision was made from birth which duty a cat would perform best."

Hollypaw was shocked. "You couldn't choose at all?"

"It wasn't impossible for a cave-guard to be a prey-hunter or a prey hunter to be a cave-guard, but generally it was a good way to make sure each cat made the best use of the strenghts they were born with."

"I wasn't born with a head for herbs." Hollypaw sighed.

"Think of your strengths, not your weaknesses," Brook urged her. "As a Clan cat, you have the freedom to shape your own destiny, which Tribe cats never have."

Now contrast this assertion with the fact that (a) in her Tribe, guards and hunters could switch jobs, and (b) Jerkface has no choice (according to the book) but to be a medicine cat.

After this conversation, Hollypaw decides she wants to be a warrior and breaks the news to Leafsue.

"I'm just no good at being a medicine cat. You must know that."

"You are clever and hardworking. You can learn."

"But it doesn't feel right," Hollypaw tried to explain. She tipped her head to one side. "Can you understand?"

"You feel like a fish swimming upstream?" Leafpool suggested.

"Exactly." Hollypaw nodded, her heart aching. "If I change direction and swim with the current, I will swim so much faster."

Ten has always heard this metaphor used to illustrate peer pressure. She takes it the Erins are supporters of conformity?

Leafpool's eyes clouded with sorrow. "I feel as though I've let you down."

"No!" Hollypaw felt a stab of guilt. "You've been patient and kind. It's just not right for me."

"It's not you; it's me."

Leafpool stepped forward and brushed Hollypaw's cheek with her muzzle. "You will make a wonderful warrior, Hollypaw," she purred. "You have a warrior's spirit - I have seen you being noble and loyal and brave, and now I see you sacrificing your ambition for the good of the Clan."

Is being noble and loyal and brave the definition of having a warrior's spirit? Either way, does this mean that medicine cats have less spirit? Or do they have a different kind of spirit?

Leafpool stroked Hollypaw's flank with her tail.

Hollypaw then faced her next false dilemma: forbidden romance with the Tribe cat or forbidden romance with her aunt?

Another "suddenly" on page 242 when Jerkface returns to camp.

Alarm shot through Hollypaw's tail, making it twitch.

Ten would expect the alarm to flow from her center, her chest, her heart, or some such, not her butt.

He was obviously determined to speak to Firestar, and she wasn't going to waste time arguing. Instead she laid her tail over his shoulders and guided him up the rockfall.

How would this help guide him? An arm could help, maybe, but tails aren't built like arms are.

[duckyaisha]

Do they know anything about cat tails? Granted, I didn't either until I read this, but if I was going to write a book about cats, I'd make sure to research them thoroughly.

[Ten]

Sometimes I wonder how much they know about anything.

Chapter 18
Alternative Title: Influx of the Noseless Mice

So now Jerkface wants to be a medicine cat.

Perhaps this was the perfect solution.

Almost like someone planned it to work out this way, eh?

Leafpool sat down and wrapped her tail over her paws. "I would be honored to be Jaypaw's mentor." She dipped her head. "I think the Clan would be lucky to have him as its medicine cat."

Hollypaw stared at Leafpool. Why does she look like she's hiding something?

Wait, what? She looks like she's hiding something? How do you figure?

"What about his blindness?" Firestar queried.

...you ask this now, and yet you had him as a warrior apprentice.

Jerkface is acting so out of character, not whining and spitting and rejecting help and going off on a tirade about how his blindness doesn't mean anything. Is he sick again?

"But first," Firestar went on, "we must tell Brightheart."

Jaypaw's ears twitched. "She'll be hurt." Hollypaw could hear anxiety in his mew. Her brother had never gotten on particularly well with his mentor, but he was clearly worried about her feelings.

Oh, now you care. Know what, buster? She'll be glad to be rid of you.

"What if she doesn't understand my decision?" Jaypaw mewed.

"It's up to you to make her understand," Firestar answered.

Why is it so important that she has to understand? Why hasn't Firestar gotten over his aversion to direct answers?

Hollypaw felt a ripple of unease stir her pelt. It was almost as if being Leafpool's apprentice wasn't Jaypaw's choice at all, but something that had been forced upon him.

Why would she be thinking this? Considering the limits of what she knows, she should be thinking that he gave up warrior training because of his blindness and because knew how good he was with herbs.

"She's in the warriors' den," Jaypaw told them.

Hollypaw's whiskers twitched. It was weird that Jaypaw was always totally aware of what was going on in the camp.

Or maybe he just smelled or heard her there while passing by.

Then there's some dull scene with kits that Ten's giving special notice for being even more of a pointless waste of time than is usual in this book.

"Show us a fighting move!" Foxkit was reaching up to Hollypaw's shoulder with his forepaws, tugging at her pelt.

Tugging at her pelt? With what? His teeth? Does Hollypaw have some thick, super-long fur?

A "suddenly" on page 249 makes the total a dozen.

I do, Hollypaw thought.

Firestar now pronounces Hollypaw and Jerkface tom and mate.

"Would you be willing to take on Hollypaw as an apprentice?" Firestar asked.

Brackenfur's gaze shot toward Hollypaw. "What happened?"

Hollypaw tensed. Was he going to say no? After all, she had already let one mentor down. "I-I don't think I'm cut out to be a medicine cat."

Brackenfur gazed at her a moment longer; then he turned back to Firestar. "I'd be pleased to train her."

What would happen if he wasn't pleased to? Just a thought. It might be entertaining to watch Hollypaw go through a line of rejections.

He headed back toward the thorn barrier and raced out of the entrance. Taken by surprise, Hollypaw pelted after him, her tail fluffed out. Her first real hunt!

Brackenfur didn't slow down to accommodate her shorter legs, and Hollypaw had to run twice as fast to keep up with him.

No, to keep up with him, she would have to run at the same speed.

"I see something!" Lionpaw hissed.

Hollypaw searched the forest floor, but could see nothing. She looked at Lionpaw and followed his gaze. He was staring at a single leaf trembling beside an exposed root. Was that really prey? she sniffed the air. At first all she smelled was the pungent mustiness of dead leaves. And then she smelled mouse.

She thrashed her tail, setting the bracken rattling again. The leaf up ahead flipped over, and Lionpaw shot out of the bracken and hurled himself toward it.

"Too late!" he cursed as he slammed his paws down on empty ground. He glared at Hollypaw. "You scared it off!"

You're the one who hissed.

Also, now "too late" is a curse.

Hollypaw's ears grew hot. "I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Don't be hard on her," Ashfur chided Lionpaw. "It's her first hunt."

Lionpaw shrugged. "It's okay, Hollypaw. I was just annoyed because I wasn't fast enough."

Breaking news: saying "I'm sorry" is an apology.

On a different note, are these supposed to be actual siblings? They get along so well. All potential conflicts dry up in a matter of seconds. For those of you who think the Erins aren't making a deliberate effort to keep anything interesting out of this book, the evidence is heavy against you.

She studied the tree. Its pale bark darkened at the roots, which snaked out from the base before disappearing into the eart. Her black pelt would blend in well.

Are you hunting something that doesn't have a nose?

[Ten]

Chapter 19
Alternative Title: Secret Agent 00J

Muttering crossly, Mousefur used her tail to sweep the pile of shredded leaves toward her nest.

Cats use their tails for expression and balance, not as brooms, and Ten's still wondering why these cats sleep in "nests".

Leafpool's irritation spiked the air.

As a result, unknowing minors became intoxicated.

"If you can't be polite to your Clanmates, you may as well come back to the medicine den and help me tear up the tansy that Hollypaw was kind enough to fetch for you yesterday!" she snapped.

Jaypaw rolled his eyes. Another moment in the medicine den and he would burst!

This from the guy who moans and whines about having to do chores and care for the elders. Either Jerkface has some severe problems with making up his mind, or he's unpleasable.

Spottedleaf hadn't warned him that life would be one tedious chore after another.

Don't you hate it when something is marketed as exciting and worthwhile, but turns out to be a big, fat bore? hm... what does this remind you of?

So Jerkface and Leafsue travel to the Moonpool and interact with fellow medicine cats along the way. The ease of conversation between medicine cats of different Clans is supposed to reflect the idea that medicine cats' first allegiance lies with the health of all cat-kind or something like that, but in all honesty, who cares about weather and mild medical issues (besides meteorologists and nurses)? Some natural tension between foreigners would be nice to read about. Instead, the Erins are helping prove Ten's conspiracy theory: they're trying to write these books with as little interesting material as is possible and see how many readers they can snatch up with snazzy marketing in spite of it.

"How are you enjoying being an apprentice?" Littlecloud asked.

Jaypaw felt anxiety pulse through his mentor. She's afraid I'm going to say it's boring! "It's great," he replied.

Why is he lying? He hates it, he likes to make known that he hates it, and he hasn't proved to be any sort of respectful to his mentor or his Clanmates. He doesn't seem to like the foreign medicine cats, either, and has no reason to be concerned about what they think of him. Unless it's about his blindness. But then again, everything is about his blindness. After all, Littlecloud is only asking him how he's enjoying his apprenticeship because he's blind, right?

Jerkface and Willowpaw walk alongside each other. As they approach a rabbit hole, Willowpaw grabs his scruff and yanks him away from it. Jerkface responds by lunging at her with unsheathed claws, not knowing why she had done it.

Why had she tried to help him? He wasn't a kit!

Maybe because she knew you couldn't see it and she's, you know, a medicine cat apprentice - just the sort of cat who'd want to prevent an injury. Then again, as Sandy said...

I think Jayfeather's blindness problem is exaggerated anyways. I've seen blind cats before. They don't need help. A cat's other senses are very keen, and the cat's sight is mostly a motion sensor. A cat could sit in a room and never notice a fly for hours if it didn't move. Without sight, the other senses sharpen considerably. With hearing, scent, and touch Jayfeather shouldn't have any trouble getting around.

So Willowpaw could have a) asked him if he knew it was there before they were so close to it (and risk his annoyance instead of his claws) or b) realize that he doesn't need to see it to smell it. They're both being unreasonable. Then again, this is good, as it's causing some sort of conflict. Now if only this would happen more often - maybe there'd even be a plot.

"I'm sorry," Jaypaw muttered.

"That's okay," Willowpaw growled. "Next time I hope you fall in!"

Then he slips on some ice.

Jaypaw felt a flash of admiration at her stubborn refusal to help.

So it seems the way to earn Jerkface's approval is to be a pouting brat.

He paused at the top, listening for the voices that had guided him last time. But the only sound was the wind spiraling into the hollow and the trickling of water as it echoed around the rocks.

Why is it echoing? Are they in a cave?

Another thought: why does anyone ever go to the Moonpool? Cats can dream about StarClan anywhere, can't they?

Jaypaw heard the soft chafing of fur on stone as the cats settled down at the water's edge.

Can fur chafe on stone? If so, would it chafe the stone when cats are doing nothing more than settling down?

Spying on StarClan wasn't enough for Jerkface, so this time he spies on StarClan and the medicine cats from other Clans.

A mottled tom padded out from the ferns and greeted her, touching his muzzle to hers.

In this sentence, does "mottled" mean tortie? If so, this makes another tortie tom.

The chapter ends when Jerkface discovers that Mothwing doesn't dream about StarClan. Ten's not sure why she wouldn't, but she salutes her for it.



Chapter 20
Alternative Title: In Which Jerkface Still Does Not Die

Guess what, guys. It's still okay to insult Yellowfang.

A rasping purr sounded from the long grass beside him. The grass quivered as a disheveled she-cat padded out. Her long, pale fur was matted in places, and her pawsteps were heavy.

Jaypaw bristled. Why was this old fleabag telling him what to do?

StarClan must not have a good health care system.

Dark Forest for the win.

"You are driven only by curiosity," Yellowfang hissed. "That is not a good enough reason."

Jaypaw plucked at the ground with annoyance. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because," Yellowfang growled, "if the answers are there, you will find them anyway."

That is not a good enough reason.

Page 276 has another use of suddenly. Everyone's awake/waking up and beginning the return journey. In an indirect attempt, Jerkface presses Leafsue to explain Mothwing's dream.

"But all medicine cats have dreams, don't they?" he pressed. Did she know about Mothwing?

"Each medicine cat's relationship with StarClan is different." Leafpool spoke carefully, like a cat picking its way through a briar patch.

It's okay, Leafsue. You can go ahead and say no. Either that, or say "I'm not at liberty to say", or something along those lines. But please, don't be an evasive dimwit.

"But sharing tongues with StarClan is the most important part of being a medicine cat, isn't it? Any cat could learn to heal his Clanmates, but a true medicine cat has to be able to pass on messages from StarClan."

Ten disagrees. Healing takes time, effort, and skill, and as Firestar has shown, you don't have to be a medicine cat to hook up with your starry pals. It does help to be a major character, though.

"There is more to being a good medicine cat than interpreting signs," Leafpool told him firmly. "Come on." She broke into a run. "The dawn patrol will be heading off soon." She ran the rest of the way through the forest, checking to make sure Jaypaw was keeping up, but moving fast enough to keep him too busy to talk.

She knows more than she's telling me, he thought as he followed her scent through the undergrowth.

Like what? That Mothwing doesn't dream about StarClan? So what? Why is he pursuing this?

When they return to camp, Jerkface demands a meeting with Firestar and proves himself even worse than Ten had thought.

"I had a dream about StarClan," Jaypaw began. "WindClan is going be attacked by dogs."

Actual typo in the book. That, or Jaypaw is speaking too fast. But that's not the atrocity.

He sensed Firestar's tail bristling and went on. "This would be a great chance to take some of WindClan's territory!"

Ten doesn't know what to add to that. His vileness speaks for itself. Of course Gramps doesn't agree, so no physical harm comes of it, but the mere fact that Jerkface would say this... she's shocked.

What's the point of being a medicine cat if they don't listen to me?

Well, there is the whole, you know, medicine aspect.

[Ten]

Chapter 21
Alternative Title: Bail-Out Expedition Rescue Mission

Firestar has decided to send ThunderClaners to help WindClan fight off the dogs, which doesn't seem like the smartest move. Is there some flaw in running, hiding, and waiting until the much more powerful dogs decide to leave? It's not cowardly, as they wouldn't be fighting for any noble cause not attainable in less dangerous methods.

"Millie!" He swung his head toward the kittypet. "You know about dogs from when you lived in the Twolegplace, don't you?"

Millie nodded. "They don't scare me," she meowed.

She's insane.

A distant howl ripped the air.

If these dogs are busy attacking or chasing down cats, growling and barking makes sense, but why would they howl?

There's another "suddenly" on page 286 and... wait a moment. Narration says the ThunderClanners have stopped and describes what's happening to the WindClanners. Is this rescue patrol just... sitting and watching? Okay, now they're getting down to business and... wait. After seeing that the WindClan plan is to lead the dogs away from camp, the ThunderClan cats are attacking the dogs? It would seem more practical to, you know, help them lead the dogs away, instead of, you know, heightening the risk of death.

Heatherpaw struggled to her paws and began to run, but the dog was nearly on top of her. Screeching in fury, Lionpaw launched himself at the dog's flank and gripped its coarse pelt. The dog yelped and spun, snapping at Lionpaw but unable to reach him.

This dog must have a long, stiff body not to be able to reach around to its own butt.

Crowfeather leaped at the dog's face, raking its muzzle before before swerving away from it.

This makes perfect sense. A cat can attack this dog's face and dash away without becoming a chew toy because the dog is... er... stuck in a displaced pocket of the time-space continuum, causing it to move in slow motion, or perhaps not at all.

Ashfur darted underneath the dog's paws, nipping its foreleg so viciously that blood spurted from the wound.

There she goes again with the vicious nipping. Listen, Erin Hunter. Chomping can be vicious. Nipping can't.

With the cat right under its paws, the dog manages to harm no one, being stuck in that displaced pocket and all. Poor fellow. This also might be the explanation why the blood "spurted" from his wound, as opposed to the standard trickling at leisure. Ten's wondering - since his face is right there - did the blood shoot into Ashfur's face? Or does the displaced pocket cause the blood to spurt in slow motion, too?

"What are you doing?" he screeched.

"Helping you!" she yowled back. She darted behind the dog and raked its hind legs with her claws. The dog yelped and fell. It rolled onto Lionpaw, and he shrieked in surprise.

He must be so grateful for her help.

He turned to see Ashfur rearing at the dog, slashing its muzzle with his forepaws.

For the record, rearing exposes the vulnerable underbelly. Off record, this displaced pocket must render the dog immobile. Otherwise it would have killed him before he could go into rock 'em sock 'em mode. But once the dog manages to free itself, it runs off.

Graystripe padded out from the gorse, his fur hanging out in clumps and one ear stained with blood, but his eyes shining.

Can cat fur hang out in clumps? It can fly out in tufts, yes. But dangle in flaps of flesh?

"WindClan owe you a debt of thanks," Crowfeather meowed formally.

Brambleclaw dipped his head. "May we accompany you back to the camp? I want to be sure that all's well there."

Crowfeather narrowed his eyes, then nodded.

Why? Can't WindClan tell for itself if all is well? A debt like this isn't worth exposing one's camp.

That makes another "suddenly" on page 291, but the Erins do have the generosity to treat readers to a bit of Breezepaw, however brief.

The brambles shivered as Breezepaw raced into the camp. "No damage to the barrier," he called.

"Have you checked it all the way around?" Crowfeather asked.

Breezepaw glared at his father. "Of course! That's what Whitetail ordered me to do!"

Nightcloud stepped forward. "You should have more faith in our son, Crowfeather," she chided.

"Whitetail's my mentor, not you," Breezepaw added.

She cuts off the (more realistic than found in most of the book, having a closer resemblance to the silly conflicts found in real families) dialogue here, for no apparent reason, to focus on Malkin, who hasn't died yet.

"Those dogs won't dare come near this part of your territory again."

"If they do, we can manage them by ourselves," Breezepaw muttered.

"Breezepaw!" Nightcloud snapped.

"How dare you express ingratitude to NannyClan?"

Then Lionpaw gets lusty about Heatherpaw's voice and eyeballs as the chapter ends.

[Cloud]

I also seem to note that the Erins change cats' eye colors and appearances regularly.

[Ten]

Yep, there's a thread on ww cataloging the Erins' mistakes.

Chapter 22
Alternative Title: The Green Plague

Jaypaw shivered, his pelt damp from the rain. "I'm going to my nest," he mewed, nodding good night to Hollypaw and Lionpaw as they finished their evening meal beside the halfrock.

Hollypaw looked up. "Already?"

"I'm tired."

"You want to get out of the rain, more like," Lionpaw joked.

How is that a joke?
Or is Lionpaw supposed to be one of those people who tries to be funny but isn't?

"At least there's been more prey since the last frost," Jaypaw pointed out.

"It'll have all bolted back into its burrows now," Leafpool warned. "Some of the warriors will go to their nests hungry tonight."

How is that a warning? It seems like the Erins were scraping the bottom of the barrel for dialogue tags. And why is Jerkface the optimistic one now?

Note that going to their "nests" hungry should not be all that harsh or abnormal for a warrior in winter.

A cat can survive without food much longer than humans can. He can lose as much as 40 percent of his body weight and survive.

The Erins must not like synonyms. Mousefur says "fuss" on page 298 and Jerkface thinks "fussing" on page 297 and 298. By the way, Mousefur now has greencough, which means Jerkface will get a chance to put his healing skills to the test. Plot development, right? Lots of... er... giving of herbs and... waiting. Yeah.

"We need catmint," Leafpool meowed, rushing out of the medicine den.

Unable to handle the stress of her medical obligations, Leafsue turned to drugs.

Some quick research lists several healing properties catmint/nip has for humans, but when it comes to cats, it just gets them high. Perhaps one might argue that, since these cats talk and think like humans, they also have human diseases. In that case, greencough might be scarlet fever or smallpox.

Jerkface, Cloudtail, and Cinderpelt go drug-running embark on a mission to save Mousefur. Somehow Jerkface is too incompetent to go alone, and just two cats aren't enough to carry all the product they need.

Jaypaw could feel Cloudtail's eyes flashing back at him as the warrior check that their blind companion was keeping up.

Sensing thoughts and emotions she'll believe, but how does he sense eyeballs?

Unable to speak, he shrugged.

Can cats shrug?

Mousefur says fuss again on page 304 after she chews her street-legal substance. Then it turns out Ferncloud is sick too, so they take her away from her kits.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine," Icekit called.

Jaypaw could sense the anxiety behind Icekit's brave words.

How is that brave? Just that she didn't descend into mournful histerics? This may be the first time Ferncloud and her kits have separated, but no one else is treating that as noteworthy.

He flicked his tail over her back.

Does this mean he's flicking his tail above the kit's back, or is he petting her with his tail? If the former, that seems a strange detail to mention. If the latter, evidence is mounting that being a medicine cat makes you a pedo.

Another thought: if all the sick cats go to the medicine den, how do the medicine cats not get sick themselves?

Whitewing becomes ill, too, and comes to the den but doesn't lay down and rest until Jerkface has made a "nest" for her. What is with these cats and their compulsion for "nests"? What happens if they sleep on something that isn't moss? Do they go bald?

Why hadn't StarClan warned them this was going to happen?

What, and make sure you were prepared beforehand? How dare you suggest they do something so logical?

Instead of lecturing him, Spottedleaf or Yellowfang could have told him that greencough was coming.

True. Maybe they didn't even know. Rather useless bunch, aren't they?

Daisy wriggled out of the nursery. "Your kits are fine," she told Dustpelt. "But if you keep hanging around here you're going to worry them." Jaypaw had never heard her sound so stern. "You should be out in the forest hunting; that's the best way you can help them."

Daisy must think it's bad for children to have a relationship with their father. Rather, in times of trouble, the best course of action is to keep them separated from their parents.

[Cloud]

Daisy's a useless idiot. All she does is sit in the nursery eating and popping out kits. Same for Ferncloud. Those girls need lives.

[duckyaisha]

Daisy's a useless idiot. All she does is sit in the nursery eating and popping out kits. Same for Ferncloud. Those girls need lives.

---

Seems to me that she doesn't know anything about Clan life. If she did, she'd realize that there are only two jobs- warrior and medicine cat. Baby-maker isn't one of the jobs on the list.