Shadowfur

[kitty]

Is that a no?
---
Yeah. I don't live anywhere near a desert. I like shady trees too much.

So to whom is it a misfortune?
---
Edited

Just the two of them?
---
Yes, it's stated in there already.

The grammar here has me confused.
---
Re-worded

The help?
---
Fixed

How does that contrast with anything that was said before?
Why didn't he try to be more like his father?
---
Edited.
Because he's a little bugger? Offspring model themselves after parents, I get that. But they would also have their own quirks making them act or think differently than the parents.

You imply this is an ongoing thing, and then you make it sound like an event.
---
This reminds me of preterite and imperfect in Spanish. ><
I think I fixed it.

Did you read the name rules?
---
I was scrambling for a name. Edited.

One, this is confusing because you're going backwards in time.
Two, he gave them different kinds of apprentice names? o.o
---
Re-wrote that entire section.

Rats migrate?
---
Lemmings do.
Edited.

This has a narm sound to it.
---
Fixed.


I was all excited when you only had a few lines in your other post. I thought I was almost through the process. Then my fledgling hopes were crushed. I'm getting there, slowly and steadily.

[Ten]

"I don't live anywhere near a desert."
--
Nor do I.


"Shadowkit and Tinykit had the misfortune of being born right before the start the dark season."
--
So who's viewing it as a misfortune?


"Yes"
--
So why didn't they get anyone to help them?


"it's stated in there already."
--
It's stated that they didn't have allies.
You don't need allies to catch a rat.
You just say, "Hey guys, I'm gonna go on a rat hunt, wanna come?"


"Because he's a little bugger?"
--
><


"But they would also have their own quirks making them act or think differently than the parents."
--
Quirks, yes.
But major ideological divergance?


"This reminds me of preterite and imperfect in Spanish."
--
-grin- That's what I was thinking, too.


"Lemmings do."
--
Do rats?


And those enraged rats are still flying.
So even if it was their territory, why would these rats attack cats?


"Then my fledgling hopes were crushed."
--
Sorry. I tend to avoid re-reading the whole thing until after I've followed through with all my latest inquiries, if that makes sense.


Do you know what I mean by "put breaks between your paragraphs"?

[kitty]

Okay I'm mad. My stupid computer didn't modify my stinking post last night! *pulls out hair* I had everything fixed gosh darnit!
kah;fojsdhbfduoc;er
Would you mind re-evaluating the post, Ten?

[Ten]

"My stupid computer didn't modify my stinking post!"
--
I hate that when that happens.

I'll look back over it.

edit: mmkay, with the rats...


"they were out hunting"
--
Hunting rats?


"and happened upon a migrating group of rats."
--
Wikipedia says lemmings live near the artic.
So do rats migrate?


"Feeling like it was their territory,"
--
I'm thinking rats don't have territories.

[kitty]

Hunting rats?
---
Cleared up.

So do rats migrate?
---
Migrating is too strong a word. More like moving a little to find better food. Think Tarzan when the apes leave one nesting site for another I suppose.

I'm thinking rats don't have territories.
---
Prolly not. Which is why I changed that.

[Ten]

"Feeling like their food was in danger"
--
Did any of the cats try to take or eat their food?

[kitty]

Did any of the cats try to take or eat their food?
---
No but considering there's never an abundance of food any animal would get a little paranoid if they had a big catch like a cat.

[Ten]

Were they being stupid and not letting the rats have their space?

[kitty]

Could I say the three of them (or just one?) were chasing a lizard and got too close to the rats before they realized their mistake?

[Ten]

And then the rat growled, the cat backed off, and that was the end of it?