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Post by onyx on Mar 22, 2010 19:12:29 GMT -5
Role player| Onyx _____ Name| Darkstream Gender| tom Physical Description| Darkstream has long legs and is lean but muscular. He moves with a quick gait and has unusually long whiskers. His fur is black with a white marking on his chest. His eyes are amber. Views| Darkstream doesn't want to form a clan. He is very unsociable, and dislikes being around many cats. He also likes choosing what he wants to do and when he does it. Also, he thinks that power leads to corruption (because of the last leader and deputy), and thinks a clan couldn't exist without some cat in charge. Kin| Pebbletail (mother), Shatterclaw (father), Brightsplash (sister), Sparkfur (brother) History| Darkstream was born to Pebbletail, a kind and gentle she-cat, and Shatterclaw, a prickly and heastrong tom. Unfortunatly, Pebbletail died shortly after her three kits had been weaned. Shatterclaw was determined for his kits to be the best hunters and fighters in the enclosure, so he pushed them to the point of exhaustion, insisting they train constantly. Darkstream didn't want to form a clan-- he only wanted to stay with his family, whom he adored. However, it became apparent that his brother Sparkfur was mentally ill. Darkstream’s father was disgusted at the idea that one of his children could be insane, and disowned Sparkfur. Darkstream, who loved his brother, objected to this, but Shatterclaw refused to listen. After Darkstream’s sister, Brightsplash, fell ill, his father left them to fend for themselves. Darkstream was relieved when his sister recovered, but was still angry at his father for leaving them and disowning them. So the young tomcat hunted down his father and kille dhim, claiming later a rat had done it. He was filled with guilt about his crime, driving him even farther away from society, and convinving him once and for all that if a clan was formed, all that would come about was fighting and murder. Darkstream has yet to admit to his siblings that he killed their father, and probably never will. Though he visits his brother often and remains on good terms with his sister, Darkstream stays away from other cats most of the time. Due to his lack of social skills, he is quick to fight over small things. Picture|  |
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Post by Ten on Mar 22, 2010 19:31:57 GMT -5
I'm afraid the prefix "Black" might already be taken. No big deal, though. I'm sure you can find something just as good.
"His fur is black with a splotch of silver on his chest."
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A white marking?
"His eyes are amber, and the fur around them is slightly lighter than the rest of his pelt."
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Have you seen a cat whose fur does that?
"The first reason is that he believes power will lead to corruption."
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How so?
Also, does he not believe that a Clan can exist without a leader?
"The second is he enjoys his lifestyle of looking out for himself and doing what he likes."
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Why's that?
"Pebblestep"
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How does she step like a pebble?
"Shattersnap"
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How does he look like a... what's a shatter?
Do you mean the verb, or is a shatter a type of bird or something?
"Willowbrook"
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How would they know of willows?
"Sparkwing"
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Does he have wings?
"(how they got their name, what their upraising was like, whether they claimed a territory, what happened to their kin, anything relevant in the past)"
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You can remove this bit.
"Blackstream's mother was a kind and gentle she-cat, but she died when her only litter of kits were only three moons old."
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You know they cannot see the lunar phases, yes?
"Blackstream's father was much stricter and tougher than his mate had been, and pushed his children to become the best."
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How so?
"Blackstream didn't want to form a clan-"
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Dashes are like--this.
I know, I thought they had spaces too.
"However, as his brother Sparkwing's mental illness became more apparent,"
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What was his illness?
"Blackstream and his father's relationship began to dissolve. Shattersnap wanted nothing to do with Sparkwing, which made Blackstream furious. He blamed his father for pushing Sparkwing farther into the realm of the insane."
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Did his father stop training him? Or was this after the completion of training?
"Shattersnap left his kits to fend for themselves after Blackstream's sister, Willowbrook, fell ill."
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Because he didn't know what to do about her?
...They were kits at this stage, then? Who were they nursing from?
"Blackstream then hunted down his father and killed him."
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Why?
"Blackstream remains on good terms with his sister and often visits his brother, who rarely leaves the wall. Due to his rather difficult past, he is bad-tempered and quick to fight most of the time."
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He is or his brother is?
Why do you add "most of the time"? Is there a specific way or time when he's less eager to fight? How has his past made him bad-tempered?
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Post by onyx on Mar 23, 2010 18:29:27 GMT -5
I just fixed the whole background. ^-^' A white marking? -- Yes. Have you seen a cat whose fur does that? -- Yes, I have, actually. There's a dark gray stray near my house with lighter fur on his face. How so? Also, does he not believe that a Clan can exist without a leader? -- He thinks they would become like a tyrant. And no. Why's that? -- Because he doesn't like to be around other cats very much. How does she step like a pebble? -- Good question. Changed it to Pebbletail. How does he look like a... what's a shatter? Do you mean the verb, or is a shatter a type of bird or something? -- Shatter as in the verb. I changed his name to Shatterclaw, because one of his paws is rather scarred. How would they know of willows? -- They wouldn't, I suppose.  I changed it to Brightsplash. Does he have wings? -- No... changed it to Sparkfur You can remove this bit. -- Done They cannot see the lunar phases, yes? -- Fixed How so? -- He pushed them to the point of physical exhaustion, and was constantly giving them lessons. He would become quite irritated if they didn't get it right. Dashes are like--this. I know, I thought they had spaces too. -- Thank you. What was his illness? -- He's insane. Did his father stop training him? Or was this after the completion of training? -- The training was almost complete. Because he didn't know what to do about her? ...They were kits at this stage, then? Who were they nursing from? -- No, because he assumed that Sparkwing and Brightsplash would die, and Darkstream was angry at him. And no, they weren't kits. Why? -- Because he had abandoned them, and Darkstream was angry at him. He has a short temper. He is or his brother is? Why do you add "most of the time"? Is there a specific way or time when he's less eager to fight? How has his past made him bad-tempered? -- Darkstream is. He is very gentle around his brother and other insane cats, and around kits and those he cares about. He is much more untrusting and prickly because he is afraid of getting close to somebody and then losing them. |
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Post by Ten on Mar 23, 2010 19:05:43 GMT -5
Ah, Dark's taken too. Sorry. There's a list of what's taken and what's not on this thread. "Yes." -- mmkay. Since silver can be taken to mean light gray, have it say white. "Yes, I have, actually. There's a dark gray stray near my house with lighter fur on his face." -- And that's not just the angle of it? hm. May I see a picture of this cat? "He thinks they would become like a tyrant." -- Why's that? If he doesn't believe there can be a Clan without a leader, add that in. "Because he doesn't like to be around other cats very much." -- Just being around them? Then he must go crazy, living trapped with them. Just interacting with them? I don't see how you plan to role play him. "I changed his name to Shatterclaw, because one of his paws is rather scarred." -- Was he scarred as a newborn kit? "I changed it to Brightsplash." -- Does she have a splash? "No... changed it to Sparkfur" -- Spark is referring to the igniting of flame, yes? "He pushed them to the point of physical exhaustion, and was constantly giving them lessons. He would become quite irritated if they didn't get it right." -- mmkay. You might illustrate that with a few scenes in the history. "He's insane." -- Yes, what is his insanity? Belief in escape? "No, because he assumed that Sparkwing and Brightsplash would die, and Darkstream was angry at him." -- So it was due to his strained relationship with feeble kin. mm. When one got sick, he figured they all get sick and die, and he only considered himself responsible for them when they were likely to live? "Because he had abandoned them," -- What was he supposed to do? "and Darkstream was angry at him. He has a short temper." -- Short temper's got nothing to do with it. To go after someone and kill them takes prolonged rage. "He is very gentle around his brother and other insane cats, and around kits and those he cares about." -- But to heck with everyone he doesn't care about, eh? "He is much more untrusting and prickly because he is afraid of getting close to somebody and then losing them." -- He never appeared to be close to his father. What prompted this fear? |
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Post by Cloud on Mar 24, 2010 9:19:28 GMT -5
Sorry, just intruding here with some prefix suggestions, since I feel bad about having taken the prefix Dark- for Darkfur.
How about Dusk-, Sable-, or Cricket- as prefixes, Onyx? Those would work, right, Ten?
-runs away before Ten gets mad-
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Post by Ten on Mar 24, 2010 18:49:24 GMT -5
Dusk... hm, that makes me think gray. Sable is... well, considering other things I've allowed, that's fine. Cricket makes me think small, light-brown little cat.
o-o Why would I be mad? Scribes are welcome to give input on other scribes' characters.
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Post by Cloud on Mar 24, 2010 19:51:25 GMT -5
Oh, I thought it wasn't allowed. o3o I thought you were the Supreme and Only Editor of Starless.
Ans as for dusk, I guess that's true, but it depends on what time of dusk. I have a cat named Duskpaw who's a mostly black tortoiseshell, but then, I didn't name her. And really? I could swear the only crickets I've seen were black. o.o
I think Sablestream sounds good as a name.
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Post by Ten on Mar 24, 2010 20:54:42 GMT -5
No, of course it's allowed. We're a collaborative community. :3 hmm... I've seen black crickets too. I guess it depends on the type of cricket. I should research that.
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Post by Cloud on Mar 26, 2010 11:08:31 GMT -5
Looks like you were right and desert crickets ARE brown. Sounds like a good name for one of Hailpaw's future kits.
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