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Post by jennifer on Mar 19, 2010 16:20:58 GMT -5
Role player| Jennifer -x-x-x-x-x-  -x-x-x-x-x- Name| Somberfoot Gender| Tom Physical Description| He has short gray fur and yellow-orange eyes. He has a slender body, which makes him light and fast on his feet. Everything else is pretty ordinary about him. Views| He has a lot of determination to become leader and will do what it takes to attain that position; even if that means eliminating them from the competition. He thinks that only the strong cats will achieve power, and the weak will fail. He would love the satisfaction of cats looking up at him as their leader and knowing how much power he would have over them all. If he found other cats that share his view, Somberfoot would undoubtedly team up with them. The more cats that back up his idea of becoming leader (or the fact there should be a leader), then the greater of a chance he can get a hold of the position. Kin| Paleheart - Sister - Alive Stoneclaw - Father - Deceased Birchnose - Mother - Deceased History| Somberfoot received his name because the prefix represents his fur color, and he is light on his feet. His father, Stoneclaw, was a fierce warrior. He was Somberfoot's own mentor and taught him the skills of a ruthless fighter; only the strong will survive. His father explained to him the things he could do with power such as having control over the cats and boss them around. This inspired Somberfoot of acquiring that rank. However, he is continuously fighting with his sister, Paleheart, for she believes he has the wrong idea of what traits a leader should have. |
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Post by Ten on Mar 19, 2010 19:30:54 GMT -5
Even though I adore the name Sootfoot (<3) I have to ask: living in the enclosure, how would they know about soot?
"He has short gray fur," <-- no comma
"Sootfoot is strong-willed,"
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How so?
"and believes that he would make an excellent leader."
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What does he believe to be true about himself that makes him so qualified?
"He would love the satisfaction of cats looking up at him as their leader," <-- no comma
"If he finds" <-- found
"The more cats that back up his idea -" <-- comma
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What idea? The idea that he would make a great leader?
"Birchnose"
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To start with, do birches grow in deserts? /doesn't know
"Sootfoot received his name because the color of his fur represents the soot of ashes,"
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No, his fur doesn't represent soot. The prefix of his name might represent his fur color, though.
"His father, Stoneclaw, was a fierce warrior. He was Sootfoot's own mentor," <-- no comma
"and taught him the skills of a true fighter."
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What do you mean by "true" fighter?
"His father explained to him the things he could do with power,"
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Such as?
"and how if Sootfoot became leader he could control the cats."
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Why would he want that?
"This inspired Sootfoot of receiving" <-- to receive? I'm thinking you should use a verb like "pine after" or some such.
"However, he is continuously fighting with his sister, Paleheart, for she believes the complete opposite."
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She believes he wasn't inspired? She believes... he should be the opposite of a leader (would that be a kit?) ...? Anyway, I think I get what you're going for here, but I suggest you rephrase it.
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Post by jennifer on Mar 22, 2010 15:17:06 GMT -5
Even though I adore the name Sootfoot (<3) I have to ask: living in the enclosure, how would they know about soot?
-x-
Thanks ;D I think its so cute, ha <3 I never really thought of that.. I will research it, and if I can't find an explanation then I will change it. :3 I changed it to Lividfoot ^-^
"He has short gray fur," <-- no comma
-x-
-fixes-
"Sootfoot is strong-willed,"
--
How so?
-x-
He has a lot of determination to become leader (therefore is strong-willed) and will do what it takes to attain that position.
"and believes that he would make an excellent leader."
--
What does he believe to be true about himself that makes him so qualified?
-x-
He thinks that only the strong cats will achieve power, and believes that he has that quality.
"He would love the satisfaction of cats looking up at him as their leader," <-- no comma
-x-
-fixes-
"If he finds" <-- found
-x-
-fixes-
"The more cats that back up his idea -" <-- comma
--
What idea? The idea that he would make a great leader?
-x-
Yes, or even the fact that they need a leader in the first place.
"Birchnose"
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To start with, do birches grow in deserts? /doesn't know
-x-
I don't know either D: I will research it.
"Sootfoot received his name because the color of his fur represents the soot of ashes,"
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No, his fur doesn't represent soot. The prefix of his name might represent his fur color, though.
-x-
Ahhh, yes. -fixes-
"His father, Stoneclaw, was a fierce warrior. He was Sootfoot's own mentor," <-- no comma
-x-
-fixes-
"and taught him the skills of a true fighter."
--
What do you mean by "true" fighter?
-x-
I suppose I mean a ruthless fighter.. -goes to change-
"His father explained to him the things he could do with power,"
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Such as?
-x-
Have control over cats, make them do what he wishes.
"and how if Sootfoot became leader he could control the cats."
--
Why would he want that?
-x-
Because he can make them do as he wishes. He would feel comforted to know that there are others to do things for him (ex. catch prey for him)
"This inspired Sootfoot of receiving" <-- to receive? I'm thinking you should use a verb like "pine after" or some such.
-x-
True.. sounds a bit off. Thanks :3
"However, he is continuously fighting with his sister, Paleheart, for she believes the complete opposite."
--
She believes he wasn't inspired? She believes... he should be the opposite of a leader (would that be a kit?) ...? Anyway, I think I get what you're going for here, but I suggest you rephrase it
-x-
Yes, I phrased it a confusing way XD I will change that.
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Post by Ten on Mar 22, 2010 19:13:53 GMT -5
Livid works if his pelt is a light-gray.
"He has a lot of determination to become leader (therefore is strong-willed) and will do what it takes to attain that position."
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What's an example of what he's willing to do?
"He thinks that only the strong cats will achieve power, and believes that he has that quality."
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Strength? Do you mean physical strength, or any other kind?
"I suppose I mean a ruthless fighter.."
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A dirty fighter? Like... one who attacks when the defeated enemy is fleeing (since cats can't pull hair)?
"Because he can make them do as he wishes. He would feel comforted to know that there are others to do things for him (ex. catch prey for him)"
--
Okay, bring him food, but he's strong enough to participate in a rat hunt, isn't he? What other things would he want them to do?
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Post by jennifer on Mar 23, 2010 15:47:18 GMT -5
Livid works if his pelt is a light-gray.
-x-
Would Somberfoot work?
"He has a lot of determination to become leader (therefore is strong-willed) and will do what it takes to attain that position."
--
What's an example of what he's willing to do?
-x-
Fight the cat, and possibly exterminate them out of the competition.
"He thinks that only the strong cats will achieve power, and believes that he has that quality."
--
Strength? Do you mean physical strength, or any other kind?
-x-
Yes, physical strength.
"I suppose I mean a ruthless fighter.."
--
A dirty fighter? Like... one who attacks when the defeated enemy is fleeing (since cats can't pull hair)?
-x-
Ha, yes. He feels no pity towards cats that are weak and helpless.
"Because he can make them do as he wishes. He would feel comforted to know that there are others to do things for him (ex. catch prey for him)"
--
Okay, bring him food, but he's strong enough to participate in a rat hunt, isn't he? What other things would he want them to do?
-x-
If other cats refused to join him, he would make his followers persuade the others and possibly threaten them if they still refused.
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Post by Ten on Mar 23, 2010 19:30:01 GMT -5
"Would Somberfoot work?"
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For dark and dull fur? Sure.
"Fight the cat, and possibly exterminate them out of the competition."
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He's willing to kill? ...mkay.
"Yes, physical strength."
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Is that the only qualification he believes himself to have?
"If other cats refused to join him, he would make his followers persuade the others and possibly threaten them if they still refused."
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In the hypothetical situation where he has all the power he wants and is capable of having, what would he use it for, other than to eat?
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Post by jennifer on Mar 23, 2010 19:54:49 GMT -5
Is that the only qualification he believes himself to have?
-x-
He is strong mentally, as in that he doesn't care whether cats insult him. He believes he can persuade others too. Except he can't trick his sister 'cause she knows the truth about him. Paleheart is too afraid to tell anybody her feelings though because she is scared that Somberfoot would hurt her.
In the hypothetical situation where he has all the power he wants and is capable of having, what would he use it for, other than to eat?
-x-
If he has all the power, definitely try to conquer more territory for himself. I suppose if he had all the power then he would go crazed and want to go outside of the enclosure to get as much land possible. That would make him crazy.. right?
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Post by Ten on Mar 23, 2010 21:40:11 GMT -5
"he doesn't care whether cats insult him."
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Of course he does. Everyone cares when people insult them.
However, you mean he handles it well?
"He believes he can persuade others too."
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Is this a false belief, or can you be persuasive?
"If he has all the power, definitely try to conquer more territory for himself."
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No, say he has all the territory. Say he has everything. What does he want it for? What is his current idea of what he's going to do with it or need it for?
"I suppose if he had all the power then he would go crazed and want to go outside of the enclosure to get as much land possible. That would make him crazy.. right?"
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That would be insane, yes. Is he insane right now?
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