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Post by kato on Mar 16, 2010 17:51:40 GMT -5
Role player| Kato
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Name| Stonenose
Gender| Tom
Physical Description| He has gray fur that lightens as it nears his underside. He is of average height and build, though he has long ears compared to most. His nose is a darker gray than the rest of his body, and his eyes are a light and bright green.
Views| Stonenose really doesn’t care all that much about the politics of the clan. He does believe however, that there should be some sort of leader(s) that watch over things and set loose guidelines.
Kin|
Darktail - Father - Deceased.
Dustfoot - Mother - Deceased.
Graykit - Sister - Deceased.
History| Dustfoot welcomed two kits into the world, Stonekit and Graykit. Both kits resembled their dark-pelted father, Darktail. Stonekit was born healthy although Graykit was not. Graykit was extra small and could not keep her mother’s milk down, so three days later Graykit passed into the void of death. Dustfoot mourned like any mother would, but life was harsh in the enclosure, and most kits died anyways. Darktail seemed indifferent, and continued to show up in the kit’s life infrequently.
As Stonekit aged and his mother deemed him worthy of the name Stonepaw his pelt began to lighten into a soft gray. Darktail disappeared from his life altogether, even though he was never really around anyway. Soon Stonepaw realized Darktail had gotten his mother pregnant again, so the two tried to hurry up his mentoring before his younger brothers and/or sisters showed up. Overall the mother and son were successful. Stonepaw got the skills for life he needed, though not practicing the fighting very much. As he aged further, Stonepaw showed signs of curiosity and observance, thus his name became Stonenose.
Dustfoot died birthing the kits, and of course the kits died as well. Stonenose set off on his own at that point, journeying through the enclosure quietly, not causing much disturbance. At one point he found Darktail’s body, half eaten away by decomposition but still recognizable. It was apparent that the tom had died of disease, judging by the smell of the carcass. Stonenose spat on the corpse before heading on his silent way.
Picture| www.zabavacats.com/images/our_cats_pedigree.jpg
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Post by Ten on Mar 16, 2010 18:06:50 GMT -5
I'm afraid we already have a Shadowstream, so you'll have to consider a different prefix. Should't be hard to find something for a gray cat, though.
"He has gray fur that lightens as it nears his underside."
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Have you seen that on a cat before?
"He is of average height and build, except his ears which are long compared to most."
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hm. Most people wouldn't catch the grammar problem here. It could be tricky to fix, so I won't make a judgment on it just yet.
"Shadownose really doesn’t care all that much about the politics of the clan."
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If he does want a leader, what does "politics of the clan" refer to?
"He does believe however, that there should be some sort of leader(s)"
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Does the "s" imply a deputy, or does he want multiple leaders?
"that watch over things and set loose guidelines."
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Such as what?
"GrayKit" <-- lowercase suffix
" Both kits’ " <-- no apostrophe
"Shadowkit was born healthy," <-- comma splice
"could not keep her mother’s milk down"
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She always vomited it? Interesting. I've never heard of kits having that problem. Is this something you know to occur in real life?
"Darktail seemed indifferent," <-- no comma
"his pelt began to lighten into a soft gray."
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Already? Can that really happen?
"Shadowpaw got the skills for life he needed, if" <-- though?
"Shadowpaw showed signs of curiosity and observance"
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How so?
"At one point the" <-- he?
"half eaten away by decomposition"
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This being an arid climate, I'm thinking the rats would eat her before bacteria could get much. Then again, if he died of disease, maybe not.
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Post by kato on Mar 16, 2010 18:33:49 GMT -5
I changed his name to Stonenose, referencing to dark-colored stones.
Have you seen that on a cat before?
xXx
My neighbor's cat.
hm. Most people wouldn't catch the grammar problem here. It could be tricky to fix, so I won't make a judgment on it just yet.
xXx
Haha, I can't find it.
If he does want a leader, what does "politics of the clan" refer to?
xXx
He wants a leader, but he doesn't care if the other cats are arguing over it or if the leader will be elected among them or not.
Does the "s" imply a deputy, or does he want multiple leaders?
xXx
It could be either.
Such as what?
xXx
Helping elders/kits/queens. The mentoring and naming ceremonies and such. But he doesn't want to follow strict rules like the whole medicine cats must remain celibate for example.
"GrayKit" <-- lowercase suffix
" Both kits’ " <-- no apostrophe
"Shadowkit was born healthy," <-- comma splice
xXx
Fixed.
She always vomited it? Interesting. I've never heard of kits having that problem. Is this something you know to occur in real life?
xXx
I remember hearing about it on animal planet once. If you want me to change it I will.
Already? Can that really happen?
xXx
I believe so.
"Shadowpaw got the skills for life he needed, if" <-- though?
"At one point the" <-- he?
xXx
Fixed.
How so?
xXx
He often studied other cats and prey that he saw/found.
This being an arid climate, I'm thinking the rats would eat her before bacteria could get much. Then again, if he died of disease, maybe not.
xXx
That's what I was thinking, because otherwise I'm not sure he would have found the body or not.
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Post by kayte103 on Mar 16, 2010 18:40:07 GMT -5
""He is of average height and build, except his ears which are long compared to most."
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hm. Most people wouldn't catch the grammar problem here. It could be tricky to fix, so I won't make a judgment on it just yet."
--x
Just a suggestion, but perhaps changing it to "He is of average height and build, though his ears are long compared to most"?
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Post by kato on Mar 16, 2010 18:52:01 GMT -5
Just a suggestion, but perhaps changing it to "He is of average height and build, though his ears are long compared to most"?
xXx
Good idea. Fixed.
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Post by Ten on Mar 16, 2010 19:02:13 GMT -5
"My neighbor's cat."
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And it's not a white marking or the angle of the fur? hm. May I see a picture of what you're talking about?
"He wants a leader, but he doesn't care if the other cats are arguing over it"
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Over having a leader, or who the leader is?
Why wouldn't he care?
"or if the leader will be elected among them or not."
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What do you mean?
"Helping elders/kits/queens. The mentoring and naming ceremonies and such."
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mmkay.
"But he doesn't want to follow strict rules like the whole medicine cats must remain celibate for example."
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Since there can't be a medicine cat, that's not a problem. What about leaders remaining celibate?
"I remember hearing about it on animal planet once."
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mm, that's good enough.
"I believe so."
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Have you researched it?
"He often studied other cats and prey that he saw/found."
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...and made observations about them to his mother?
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