Shadowclaw [WiP]

[kero]

Role player|
Kero
_____

Name|
Shadowclaw
Gender|
Tom

Physical Description|
His sleek skinny body allows him to move swiftly and gracefully. He has a dark black pelt, allowing to blend well into the darkness. He has deep, dark blue eyes, that can creep anyone out with their intimidating glare.

Views|
Shadowclaw personally likes having no leader at all, it gives much more freedom in what can be done. Though, he knows that not having a leader has it's downsides, and thinks they should have a leader. He thinks that he shouldn't be leader, only because, he would probably lead the entire 'clan' to their death. He has the right mind in thinking that, with a leader, they may be able to survive. But, without the guiding leadership of a leader, they could all be brought to their doom.

Kin|
Both of his parents are dead. And he has no siblings.

History|
--To Be Edited--

Picture|

[Ten]

"[WiP]"
--
All yet-to-be accepted characters are works in progress.


"His sleek skinny body" <-- comma between adjectives


"He has a dark black pelt, allowing to blend well into the darkness."
--
Allowing him to blend well?


"He has deep, dark blue eyes,"
--
Have you checked the Stats table?


"Shadowclaw personally likes"
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Can he impersonally like?


"having no leader at all, it gives" <-- comma splice


"Though, he knows that not having a leader has it's downsides, and thinks they should have a leader."
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Instead of "though", I suggest using "however". In this case, its does not have an apostrophe.


"He thinks that he shouldn't be leader, only because," <-- no comma


"he would probably lead the entire 'clan' to their death."
--
How so?


"He has the right mind" <-- be objective


"in thinking that, with a leader, they may be able to survive."
--
They are surviving.


"But, without the guiding leadership of a leader,"
--
Can you make this less redundant?

[neonlight]

Sorry to butt in, but I'm also certain black cats can't have blue eyes unless they have some white on them.