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Post by layne190 on Aug 23, 2010 15:16:28 GMT -5
Role player| Cherry _____ Name| Duskwhisker Gender| She-cat Physical Description| Her pelt is very dark almost black (but not quite). She has bright green eyes. She has a scar on her ear from a rat when she was young. Her whiskers and tail are longer then average and she is very self consious. Views| She full heartedly supports the idea of a clan. While she likes the idea of having a leader, she wouldn’t want to be one herself. She wouldn’t mind being able to share her ideas though. She really just wants to help. Kin| Brindletail- mother ~dead Lizardfang- father ~dead History| Her parents Brindletail and Lizardfang tried to give her the best training as posible, considering she was their only kit. She was seven moons when she and her parents went on a rat hunt with a few other warriors. More thanone rat attacked them and the cats were overwhelmed and Duskwhisker juat barely got away. Her parents gave their lives defending her. With his dying breath, Lizardfang gave her (known then as Duskpaw) the name Duskwhisker. Since then she has been very lonely, afraid and has self esteem issues. She wants a mate to fill the “gaping hole” in her heart. Picture| www.dogbreedinfo.com/images8/Havana_Brown_Grand_Champion_SusitnaLadys_Trudy_of_Mokolea.jpg
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Post by Ten on Aug 23, 2010 17:50:45 GMT -5
"Her pelt is very dark" <-- comma -- Very dark what? That is, what color?
"and she is very self consious." -- How is this physical description?
"full heartedly" <-- hyphenate
So why does she support Clanhood?
"She was seven moons" -- You know they can't see the lunar phases, right? It's okay for you to use that description in the bio, but I don't want characters using it in dialogue.
"More thanone rat attacked them" <-- than one? -- Why did they attack them?
"Duskwhisker juat barely" <-- just?
"Since then she has been very lonely, afraid" -- Afraid of what?
"and has self esteem issues." -- What do you mean?
That picture you have is of a Havana Brown. We don't have purebred kitties here.
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