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Post by rainbows on Jul 3, 2010 19:53:11 GMT -5
"What she didn't know is that he was so submissive because he looked up to Mousevoice, and loved her greatly. No other she-cats would ever be around him." -- No other she-cats? What made him so repulsive to them? "He was ragged looking, and his posture was horrible. He had no conversational skills and was very antisocial." it was just his personality to be submissive. i guess i should add that he took the teasings that boneflash gave him and didn't do anything about them. ah, i should. (: i hope i do. otherwise i would feel bad for wasting your time. so i will. i dedicate myself to this bio and will make sure that it passes your's and mine expectations. yes. those. (: they are epically awesome and i want one. |
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Post by Ten on Jul 3, 2010 20:08:58 GMT -5
"He was ragged looking, and his posture was horrible. He had no conversational skills and was very antisocial."
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How can a cat have bad posture?
Look, no matter what he's like, I'm sure there would be at least one she-cat who would end up talking to him at some point. Think more about his upraising. What did his father do or not do that would produce such a son?
"it was just his personality to be submissive."
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How? What did he submit to?
Her teasing? Then that wouldn't make sense as the root reason for her teasing him -- that would be going in a circle.
What things did their sister order him to do?
"i hope i do. otherwise i would feel bad for wasting your time. so i will. i dedicate myself to this bio and will make sure that it passes your's and mine expectations."
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Excellent.
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Post by rainbows on Jul 7, 2010 7:39:15 GMT -5
"He was ragged looking, and his posture was horrible. He had no conversational skills and was very antisocial." -- How can a cat have bad posture? Look, no matter what he's like, I'm sure there would be at least one she-cat who would end up talking to him at some point. Think more about his upraising. What did his father do or not do that would produce such a son? "What she didn't know is that he was so submissive because he looked up to Mousevoice, and loved her greatly. She-cats hardly came around him. He was ragged looking, and his posture was horrible. He had no conversational skills and was very antisocial. His father was never really around. He never had an older tom in his life. So if Mousevoice asked him to hunt for her, he would. If she had asked him to go give up his life for her, he would have. She asked him to kill for her, and he did." oh, and more about the killing will be in Mousevoice's bio. seeing as this Boneflash's bio, i firgured it would be irrelvant because she knew nothing about it. i answered that in the quote above, specifically the last sentence. "she asked him to kill for her, and he did." |
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Post by Ten on Jul 7, 2010 12:18:52 GMT -5
"He was ragged looking, and his posture was horrible."
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How can a cat have bad posture?
"His father was never really around. He never had an older tom in his life. So if Mousevoice asked him to hunt for her, he would. If she had asked him to go give up his life for her, he would have."
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mm... Somehow, with you saying he's obsessed with fawning over her, that's coming off less like a brother and more like a creepy guy with a bad crush. I don't know too much about child psychology, so I'm going to guess here -- wouldn't the lack of a father figure mean he'd be trying to define his masculinity/figure out what it means to "be a tom", rather than lavishing affection on his sister? If it were a she-cat without a father, then I could see her being desperate for a mate, but I'm not sure how a tom's sister would replace his father, you know?
"oh, and more about the killing will be in Mousevoice's bio."
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You'll be doing one for her, then?
mmkay. It might be easier if we worked on their histories at the same time.
"seeing as this Boneflash's bio, i firgured it would be irrelvant because she knew nothing about it."
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Then it can't be one of the things she witnesses that convinces her he's submissive. As for hunting for his sisters, that's what any good tom should do. It's not submission.
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Post by rainbows on Jul 7, 2010 12:56:14 GMT -5
"He was ragged looking, and his posture was horrible." -- How can a cat have bad posture? i took it out. (: lol finally, right? yes, i do get what you are saying. so i changed it to this. "His mother was never really around and his father taught him to do as she-cats say. So if Mousevoice asked him to hunt for her, he would. If she had asked him to go give up his life for her, he would have. She asked him to kill for her, and he did. She never asked him to stand up for himself, so he never did. She asked him to stay put in one place, he did." then i'll make one for her. (: i added more things, i just can't think of many things to say when i'm hungry. |
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Post by Ten on Jul 7, 2010 13:12:13 GMT -5
"His mother was never really around"
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She must've been around when they were still drinking-milk age. Where'd she go off to?
"and his father taught him to do as she-cats say."
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Was this something he lead by example with, or was it just something he told him often? Did he ever punish him for not doing what a she-cat told him to?
"She never asked him to stand up for himself, so he never did."
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Against what? Bone's teasing? I thought Bone teased him because of his submissiveness, so it can't have come from that. If she teased everyone at first, then that would include their sister, no? I'd expect he would stand up for her... Wait. If his father said to always listen to she-cats, and he took the comment so to heart, wouldn't he be just as submissive to Bone? Or was it just to the other sister?
"She asked him to stay put in one place, he did."
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What would she tell him to do that for? Just to mess with him?
"then i'll make one for her."
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mmkay. You going to role play the brother too?
"i just can't think of many things to say when i'm hungry."
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So your mind jumped to food. x) Makes sense.
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