Boulderfur .::wip::.

[riv]

RolePlayer.:: You can call me Riv, River, or Phae.


Name.:: Boulderfur. Plain and simple~!

Gender.:: Tom-cat.

Physical Description.:: Boulderfur, despite his name, is not
large and fat (as one would expect one to be named after a boulder to be!) In fact, he is thin and lithe, with no extra skin hanging off of his bones. He is quite muscular, and could run quite fast -- well, if there were much room to run in The Enclosure. Thin, dark-brown lines over a base grey coat comprise the colouring of this cat's fur -- the brown pattern almost like that of the cracks in a boulder. His hair is short and manageable -- and Boulderfur makes sure there's never so much as a single burr between the hairs.

Views.:: Clan? Clan? Who needs a clan? All you need is a few close buddies to survive, so why bother with a clan? It just makes problems -- like all the idiots who want to lead one. Not to mention the question of what in the world a clan would do stuck inside that tiny enclosure. The cats are cramped as it is -- wouldn't banding together make it ever the more cramped?

Kin.::
Bold denotes a parent and/or played character.
Italics denotes female.
Underline denotes male.
Strikethrough denotes a deceased character.

Dirtpelt - Frostfur
Crackedfur - Crumblekit - Boulderfur - Speckletail

History.:: WIP.

Picture.:: Coming after the history.

If you want, we could go over what needs changed with everything else before I even start the history As I said, I love how you critique everything, and this might go a bit easier on the both of us if you have less to go through. (I'll also inform you that it's three-thirty am where I am, but that's not all that unusual for me. If my mom didn't wake up around four sometimes I'd be on here till....well, whenever. xD)

[Ten]

"If you want, we could go over what needs changed with everything else before I even start the history"
--
Sure.


"Boulderfur, despite his name, is not
large and fat (as one would expect one to be named after a boulder to be!)"
--
Endmarks used in parenthesis are fine (I think?) but you still need an endmark at the end of the sentence, after the parenthesis.


"In fact, he is thin and lithe, with no extra skin hanging off of his bones. He is quite muscular,"
--
The first sentence makes me think he's near skeletal. Then you tell me he's beefy. Something in between?


"and could run quite fast -- well, if there were much room to run in The Enclosure."
--
There is. Not for miles and miles, granted, but there's a lot of running during a rat hunt. The enclosure is... think football field size. There's more than enough elbow room.


"Thin, dark-brown lines over a base grey coat comprise the colouring of this cat's fur"
--
Brown tabby?


"the brown pattern almost like that of the cracks in a boulder."
--
When I think boulder, I think big and gray, no cracks required. There are cracks in the walls (is that what you were thinking of?) but I don't know that there'd be any cracks in the boulders.


"His hair is short and manageable -- and Boulderfur makes sure there's never so much as a single burr between the hairs."
--
xD I thought that said "a single blur".
So where would he get burrs from?


"It just makes problems -- like all the idiots who want to lead one."
--
There are cats who want to lead a Clan even without a real Clan existing, so making a real Clan wouldn't cause that.


"The cats are cramped as it is -- wouldn't banding together make it ever the more cramped?"
--
First of all, it's the same number of cats either way. If you've been reading these comments in order, you know by now that the enclosure isn't tiny, so let's look at some other directions you could go with this. Does Boulderfur think that a Clan lifestyle would extend lives and increase population? Some cons are worried about a Clan claiming a territory and not allowing non-Clan cats to hunt in that territory (which, with a Clan protecting it, could span most of the enclosure). What does Boulderfur think of that?


"Dirtpelt" -- in cat lingo, translates to Poopelt


"Crackedfur"
--
He looked cracked as a kit? o.o


"Crumblekit"
--
I doubt a mother would name a kit if she thought it was dying.
A weak kit, yes, but not a dying kit.

[riv]

Jun 25, 2010 9:35:33 GMT -5 Ten said:

"If you want, we could go over what needs changed with everything else before I even start the history"
--
Sure.


"Boulderfur, despite his name, is not
large and fat (as one would expect one to be named after a boulder to be!)"
--
Endmarks used in parenthesis are fine (I think?) but you still need an endmark at the end of the sentence, after the parenthesis.


"In fact, he is thin and lithe, with no extra skin hanging off of his bones. He is quite muscular,"
--
The first sentence makes me think he's near skeletal. Then you tell me he's beefy. Something in between?


"and could run quite fast -- well, if there were much room to run in The Enclosure."
--
There is. Not for miles and miles, granted, but there's a lot of running during a rat hunt. The enclosure is... think football field size. There's more than enough elbow room.


"Thin, dark-brown lines over a base grey coat comprise the colouring of this cat's fur"
--
Brown tabby?


"the brown pattern almost like that of the cracks in a boulder."
--
When I think boulder, I think big and gray, no cracks required. There are cracks in the walls (is that what you were thinking of?) but I don't know that there'd be any cracks in the boulders.


"His hair is short and manageable -- and Boulderfur makes sure there's never so much as a single burr between the hairs."
--
xD I thought that said "a single blur".
So where would he get burrs from?


"It just makes problems -- like all the idiots who want to lead one."
--
There are cats who want to lead a Clan even without a real Clan existing, so making a real Clan wouldn't cause that.


"The cats are cramped as it is -- wouldn't banding together make it ever the more cramped?"
--
First of all, it's the same number of cats either way. If you've been reading these comments in order, you know by now that the enclosure isn't tiny, so let's look at some other directions you could go with this. Does Boulderfur think that a Clan lifestyle would extend lives and increase population? Some cons are worried about a Clan claiming a territory and not allowing non-Clan cats to hunt in that territory (which, with a Clan protecting it, could span most of the enclosure). What does Boulderfur think of that?


"Dirtpelt" -- in cat lingo, translates to Poopelt


"Crackedfur"
--
He looked cracked as a kit? o.o


"Crumblekit"
--
I doubt a mother would name a kit if she thought it was dying.
A weak kit, yes, but not a dying kit.

Hay. I'll edit this in a minute, so lemme just answer everything first:

Endmarks used in parenthesis are fine (I think?) but you still need an endmark at the end of the sentence, after the parenthesis.
---
Hurm. Yeah, the punctuation has to be out side the parenthesis, but !). looks silly....meh it's grammatically correct so I'll go with it. x3


The first sentence makes me think he's near skeletal. Then you tell me he's beefy. Something in between?
---
Hm. I need to edit that a bit. What I was going for was the fact that he doesn't have fat on him, and his skin isn't hanging off of him or anything, but's actually just muscular.


There is. Not for miles and miles, granted, but there's a lot of running during a rat hunt. The enclosure is... think football field size. There's more than enough elbow room.
---
Oh hokay. This makes it a lot easier, I'll change that ^^


Brown tabby?
---
When I think boulder, I think big and gray, no cracks required. There are cracks in the walls (is that what you were thinking of?) but I don't know that there'd be any cracks in the boulders.
---
No, for some reason I had this odd picture in my mind of...oh forget it xD as you said, boulders don't have cracks. No idea what i was thinking xD Would it be all right if he was lighter gray in some places, and darker in others? That seems like a boulder at the moment....xD


xD I thought that said "a single blur".
So where would he get burrs from?
---
Burrs -- I got the impression that there were plants in the enclosure? But now that I think of it, burr-bushes probably wouldn't make their way into the enclosure...well, maybe the burrs wormed their way into the enclosure on smaller animals? If that doesn't make sense either, I'll just take it out. ^^


There are cats who want to lead a Clan even without a real Clan existing, so making a real Clan wouldn't cause that.
---
Uhwhut? They want to lead a clan that isn't a clan? D8 now I'm confused. Still -- he believes that anyone who wants to lead a clan, regardless of how good a head they have on their shoulders, is a jerk who just wants to boss people around, merely because there hasn't been one who's convinced him otherwise. ... am I making any sense? D8


First of all, it's the same number of cats either way. If you've been reading these comments in order, you know by now that the enclosure isn't tiny, so let's look at some other directions you could go with this. Does Boulderfur think that a Clan lifestyle would extend lives and increase population? Some cons are worried about a Clan claiming a territory and not allowing non-Clan cats to hunt in that territory (which, with a Clan protecting it, could span most of the enclosure). What does Boulderfur think of that?
---
Even as I wrote that paragraph I knew it didn't exactly make sense xD I'll fix it.


As for all the names -- truthfully, I couldn't think of any names at the time D8 Crackedfur wasn't because he was fragile -- he has a tabby pattern that looks like the cracks of the wall of the enclosure. As for Dirtpelt and Crumblekit -- yeah xD I dunno what's going on there, I'll make new names.

Mk, so as soon as you go over my new comments again, shall I give it a go?

[Ten]

"Would it be all right if he was lighter gray in some places, and darker in others?"
--
Gray tabby?


"well, maybe the burrs wormed their way into the enclosure on smaller animals?"
--
hm. The plants on the outside would be mostly succulents like lechiguilla and thorny little bushes like cat claw, plus your basic cacti, perhaps some desert willows and mesquite trees... and there might be something with burrs out there, too. Lizards and snakes wouldn't bring them in, but rats and rabbits? Maybe. Cats wouldn't be brushing up against either the bushes or the pelts of their prey, though, so it doesn't seem there'd be many opportunities to get burrs in their pelts.


"Uhwhut? They want to lead a clan that isn't a clan? D8 now I'm confused."
--
Sorry. There are cats who want a Clan and want to lead it. Clear? :3


"Still -- he believes that anyone who wants to lead a clan, regardless of how good a head they have on their shoulders, is a jerk who just wants to boss people around, merely because there hasn't been one who's convinced him otherwise. ... am I making any sense? D8"
--
Yes, yes you are. You can add that to his views.


"As for all the names -- truthfully, I couldn't think of any names at the time"
--
Look here. For kin -- at least, for the cats you won't be playing -- it doesn't matter if you use a taken prefix.


"Crackedfur wasn't because he was fragile -- he has a tabby pattern that looks like the cracks of the wall of the enclosure."
--
mm, I hadn't ever pictured the cracks in the walls as looking like stripes... Tabby stripes are darker than the rest of the cat, whereas the cracks in the was (which aren't long streaks so much as they are little places where the stone and branches don't fit together) are sources of sunshine in the day.


"Mk, so as soon as you go over my new comments again, shall I give it a go?"
--
Yes. ^^