Dottedfoot

[Ten]

"So if she hasn't eaten for like four or five days, then."
--
I don't know the specific number. You'll have to look that up if you want to specify.


"She had a very hard time paying attention to things."
--
If she didn't learn to hunt well enough, she shouldn't get a warrior name.


"An Eye to Listen."
--
mm, not much he can do so far, is there?

[Cloud]

"I don't know the specific number. You'll have to look that up if you want to specify."

Er...if I'm faced with a situation where I think I need to know, I will.

"If she didn't learn to hunt well enough, she shouldn't get a warrior name."

Changed the history so she didn't.

"mm, not much he can do so far, is there?"

True..I guess I should really post as Darkfur responding to Rainstripe. /short on time + lazy

[Ten]

"Dottedkit was born in a litter of two recently after a flood, named for her gray-dotted pelt."
--
Implies the flood was named after her pelt. You can take that dependent clause and switch it to the front of the sentence.


"She never knew her father, who had visited her only once"
--
Then she would have known him, in a way, but not remembered him.


"Branchstripe looked everywhere for him and eventually discovered that his body had been found"
--
"Had been found"? Who found it?



"near the walls, but how he died was unknown,"
--
...to her?


"Branchstripe never told her daughters about their dead father, not wanting to bring them unnecessary grief."
--
If they never knew him, how could they grieve?


"for fear of attack if they stayed put too long."
--
This makes it sound like cats will jump you if you're not aerobic enough. I know what you mean, though. They didn't want any of the fighting and defending that comes with claiming a territory.


"She refused one to Nightpaw because of her poor hunting skills."
--
Why was Dottedfoot able to hunt well enough but not Nightpaw?

[Cloud]

"Implies the flood was named after her pelt. You can take that dependent clause and switch it to the front of the sentence."

And when the great flood came, the people sank to their knees in awe. AND THEY CALLED IT DOTTY! /joking

Anyway, switched it around so it makes sense.

"Then she would have known him, in a way, but not remembered him."

I rephrased it, basically using what you said.

""Had been found"? Who found it?"

A friend of Branchstripe's, and I fixed it to say so.

"...to her?"

I deleted the 'how he died was unknown' bit.

'If they never knew him, how could they grieve?"

Oh yeah. Duh. /headdesk -fixed that-

"They didn't want any of the fighting and defending that comes with claiming a territory."

Exactly.

"Why was Dottedfoot able to hunt well enough but not Nightpaw?"

Nightpaw had very bad problems with paying attention. I mean, she would've gotten along by herself, but just.

[Ten]

"Nightpaw had very bad problems with paying attention."
--
Why's that? Did her mother raise her in a different way?

[Cloud]

"Why's that? Did her mother raise her in a different way?"

No, but she had the cat version of ADHD.

[Ten]

Is there such a thing?

[Cloud]

"Is there such a thing?"

Not quite sure, but I Googled it and many people seem to think their cats have it, or something similar. Or I could just say she found learning to hunt boring, and she always was trying to sneak off to practice fighting.

[Ten]

But no quasi-scientific solid answer? Why would she find learning to hunt boring? What would make her different from her sister?

[Cloud]

You got me. As usual. xD Oh well. I changed it so Nightfur (formerly Nightpaw) died of sickness later on after Dottedfoot's leg had healed.