Sandfur

[Brain]

Role player| Brain
_________

Name| Sandfur

Gender| she-cat

Physical description| Sandfur is a sand-colored mackerel tabby with yellow eyes. She has the agile body of an excellent hunter.

Views| She is in favor of a clan. Sandfur is worried about how she and her fellow warriors will be treated as elders. She also hopes more cats could be like her mother.

Kin| Mother(dead); Father(unknown); Brothers: Barkpaw(dead), Bluekit (alive).

History| Her mother, who was patient and compassionate, was always hunting for elders. She mentored Sandfur and Barkpaw together. Barkpaw died trying to catch a rat alone. He was insane and spent much of his time trying to find a way out of the enclosure. Their mother died soon after Sandfur became a warrior. Sandfur never knew her father. She has a small piece of territory near the wall, which she inherited from her mother.

[Ten]

Did you miss the note about complete sentences?


"Cream-colored tortoiseshell"
--
What do you mean?


"with beautiful"
--
Be objective.


"In favor of a clan."
--
Why?


"She was mentored by her mother who died soon after she became a warrior."
--
Put that in the History, not the Kin.


"Her only brother died trying to catch a rat alone."
--
Did he have mental issues?


"Her mother mentored her brother first and then her."
--
So she only started training Sandpelt after she had given her son a warrior name?


"She is well known for her hunting skill."
--
Among who?


"She has a small piece of territory near the wall."
--
How long has she had it?

[Brain]

I changed it.

[Ten]

I'd prefer you'd answer my questions in your reply post, please.
There are still some incomplete sentences in her bio.


"sand colored tortoiseshell"
--
What do you mean?


"She thinks cats need organization."
--
In order to what?


"Her mother died soon after she became a warrior."
--
This should be in the History.

[Brain]

"sand colored tortoiseshell"
---
Forget the tortoiseshell. I added a picture.

"She thinks cats need organization."
---
In order to hunt rats.

"Her mother died soon after she became a warrior."
---
moved it to history.

[Ten]

Do you know the copyrights on that picture?


"She is a sand colored" <-- hyphenate
--
If she looks like the picture, then she's a tabby.


"In order to hunt rats."
--
So... are you saying they can't hunt rats without a Clan?

[Brain]

If she looks like the picture, then she's a tabby.
---
I'll change it.

"She is a sand-colored"

"In order to hunt rats-"
---
-effectively.

[Ten]

Sand cats are a different species.

So without a Clan, they're ineffective?
What do you mean by that?
They're still able to catch, kill, and eat them, so how would a Clan improve things?

[Brain]

changing the picture...

"So without a Clan, they're ineffective?
What do you mean by that?
They're still able to catch, kill, and eat them, so how would a Clan improve things?"
---
Everyone would get fed. She is worried about how she will be treated as an elder.

[Ten]

"Everyone would get fed. She is worried about how she will be treated as an elder."
--
Then say that, not that cats need organization in order to hunt rats effectively. So her desire to be taken care of is the only reason she wants a Clan?