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Post by Ten on Jul 9, 2009 8:53:33 GMT -5
"yea"
--
Then change it to something that makes sense.
"Its not that she won't talk, but that she only talks to the cats that she wants to talk to."
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Which is who? No one?
"I just create my charracters not base them off of me."
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Of course you do, silly goose.
"Or, maybe the lack of food, water, and strength is enough to drive him mad."
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It's not driving anyone else mad, so there must be something different about him.
Do you understand that?
"true true, I wouldn't, but that's just me."
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It's not "just you". It's normal.
The mere not-having-an-escape in itself is not enough to drive a cat crazy.
"the shadowy atmosphere is probably depressing in some way"
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You have skin. Do you find that depressing? Is it going to drive you crazy?
No. You've had it all your life. It's your skin.
"Could you list me some cats that you would find here, please?"
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They're feral cats, silly goose. Not purebreds.
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Post by psych on Jul 9, 2009 13:57:46 GMT -5
"yea"
--
Then change it to something that makes sense.
Okie dokie!
"Its not that she won't talk, but that she only talks to the cats that she wants to talk to."
--
Which is who? No one?
She hasn't met anyone yet!
"I just create my charracters not base them off of me."
--
Of course you do, silly goose.
If I based my charras off of me they would all be airheads x3.
"Or, maybe the lack of food, water, and strength is enough to drive him mad."
--
It's not driving anyone else mad, so there must be something different about him.
Do you understand that?
Yup! That's what I've been trying to say, he's a born nut!
"true true, I wouldn't, but that's just me."
--
It's not "just you".
There could be crazy people who want to travel to different galaxies and go mad trying to make a rocket in there garage!
... Ok you win that one.
It's normal.
The mere not-having-an-escape in itself is not enough to drive a cat crazy.
Maybe he was born with a mental condition that drove him mad?
"the shadowy atmosphere is probably depressing in some way"
--
You have skin. Do you find that depressing? Is it going to drive you crazy?
It drove micheal jackson crazy! Just messing. Um...hmm maybe if I had a phobia of the dark? Or dead bodies? Or bugs? There are limitless phobias.
No. You've had it all your life. It's your skin.
Yup!
"Could you list me some cats that you would find here, please?"
--
They're feral cats, silly goose. Not purebreds.
I know that xD!
I will find a different pic and mix her with egyptian mau.
Maybe I will say he was born with a mental disorder or he witnessed a horrible death that drove him insane.
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Post by Ten on Jul 9, 2009 14:03:38 GMT -5
"She hasn't met anyone yet!"
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Then that means there's no one she likes to talk to, no?
"Maybe he was born with a mental condition that drove him mad?"
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Sure.
"mix her with egyptian mau."
--
I beg your pardon? o.o
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Post by psych on Jul 9, 2009 16:04:29 GMT -5
"She hasn't met anyone yet!"
--
Then that means there's no one she likes to talk to, no?
Well there are going to be both possibly. There are going to be cats that she will and won't talk to but we are gonna have to wait and see. =P
"Maybe he was born with a mental condition that drove him mad?"
--
Sure.
K!
"mix her with egyptian mau."
--
I beg your pardon? o.o
She's not going to be a purebred.
*will finish her up by tonight*
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Post by Ten on Jul 9, 2009 16:37:46 GMT -5
I don't mind if you use the quote button, but don't put your responses inside the quote.
"There are going to be cats that she will and won't talk to"
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So she's going to ignore all the cats she doesn't like,
removing all conflict whatsoever?
It's not just purebreds that are impossible.
She shouldn't have any sort of specific breed in her, besides your average shorthair.
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Post by psych on Jul 9, 2009 19:00:51 GMT -5
I don't mind if you use the quote button, but don't put your responses inside the quote."
Sorry my phone disables some features so I cannot tell if I'm posting in it or not. I will just copy and paste from now on.
There are going to be cats that she will and won't talk to"--So she's going to ignore all the cats she doesn't like,removing all conflict whatsoever?
No, but you don't have to not like a person to cause a conflict. Some people love to fight with each other. But! If she did not like a person and wanted to harrass or argue with them then she would if she found it interesting.
It's not just purebreds that are impossible.She shouldn't have any sort of specific breed in her, besides your average shorthair.
Oh, ok that makes sense.
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Post by Ten on Jul 9, 2009 21:04:23 GMT -5
So does she or does she not avoid talking to other cats and spend most of her time alone?
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Post by psych on Jul 9, 2009 21:50:53 GMT -5
Fixed it, and she does spend a good amount of her time alone, maybe a hour or two of total silence alone, but when she is talked to or wants to talk she will. I have a tendency to alter her personality as I rp so I cannot say that she's going to sit in a corner all day by herself. She won't be a mute or a complete hermit, and she will talk to others.
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Post by Ten on Jul 9, 2009 22:15:44 GMT -5
"Name| Mudstreak"
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I think that prefix is taken.
How does she have a streak?
"dark chocolate dominates this cats" <-- apostrophe
"The tantalizing hue of a brown-red and the interesting color of dark chocolate combine to make a unique pelt,"
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like most cats have?
"Next the nebulous pigment slithers up her four appendages," <-- no comma
So she's a brown tabby?
"Mudstreak is the one who beholds the most beauty and body."
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I think you mean "has", since beholds is more like "looks at".
"Mudstreak surpasses her mothers" <-- apostrophe
"Ever since the cat was young she began to build up her body with the help of her father."
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This goes in the History, not the Physical Description.
"The only downside to training with her father was all the scars he implanted"
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I'm thinking "implant" isn't the right word.
"upon her all over," <-- no comma
"and her sucky hunting skills."
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This too should be in the History, not here.
"Instead of short limbs, the feline had" <-- has?
"lengthy muscular legs and a long statuesque,"
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A long statuesque what?
"making her taller then the usual," <-- than usual?
"With a vague pretty element to her,"
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Nope.
"Mudstreak believes that"
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That's not Physical Description.
"light smokey grey."
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Have you done that research yet?
"Mudstreak, despite her weird little ways,"
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Don't say she has weird ways
unless you say what they are in the bio.
"the basic blocks of life (no space chaos and ugly truths no space)"
"So since the majority of the population are" <-- is
"followers then they need a leader and a clan to continue living their happy blind lives."
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Continue? What do you mean?
A Clan would be a change, not a continuation.
"She understands the thriving chaos of this world and how to manipulate it"
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In this particular instance, you should prefrace this with "she thinks" or "she believes" or something of the sort.
"As she matured into a apprentice she trained under her father proudly."
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Knowing her father, why did her mother allow that?
"Finally a couple other cats had succeeded"
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It would make more sense if you removed "had".
"but for punishment the young warrior was ignored by her aunt and uncle,"
--
Passive tense. e.e
So if they ignored her, who named her?
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Post by psych on Jul 9, 2009 23:55:46 GMT -5
"Name| Mudstreak"--I think that prefix is taken.How does she have a streak?
The same way stones have storms and crickets have whiskers. Just messing, I will find another one, but there isn't much to choose from since all these deprived cats know are, bugs, stones, lizards, and darkness.
"dark chocolate dominates this cats" <-- apostrophe
Yep I will fix it.
"The tantalizing hue of a brown-red and the interesting color of dark chocolate combine to make a unique pelt,"--like most cats have?"
No! There orange, gray, black, and more gray, and now one is brown. =P
I'll fix it.
Next the nebulous pigment slithers up her four appendages," <-- no comma
Yep
So she's a brown tabby?"Mudstreak is the one who beholds the most beauty and body."--I think you mean "has", since beholds is more like "looks at".
Yep, ill fix it.
"Mudstreak surpasses her mothers" <-- apostrophe
Yep
"Ever since the cat was young she began to build up her body with the help of her father."--This goes in the History, not the Physical Description.
I will just delete it.
"The only downside to training with her father was all the scars he implanted"
--I'm thinking "implant" isn't the right word.
There fake implants, too. Yea I'll change it.
"upon her all over," <-- no comma
Yep
"and her sucky hunting skills."--This too should be in the History, not here.
Delete
"Instead of short limbs, the feline had" <-- has?
Yep
"lengthy muscular legs and a long statuesque,"--A long statuesque what?
Change
"making her taller then the usual," <-- than usual?"
Change
With a vague pretty element to her,"--Nope.
Delete
"Mudstreak believes that"--That's not Physical Description.
Yep
"light smokey grey."--Have you done that research yet?
Nope! Working on it!
"Mudstreak, despite her weird little ways,"--Don't say she has weird ways unless you say what they are in the bio.
Its a personality description then so I will just delete it.
"the basic blocks of life (no space chaos and ugly truths no space)"
Yep
"So since the majority of the population are" <-- is
Yep
"followers then they need a leader and a clan to continue living their happy blind lives."--Continue? What do you mean?A Clan would be a change, not a continuation."
It would change then be a continuation.
She understands the thriving chaos of this world and how to manipulate it"--In this particular instance, you should prefrace this with "she thinks" or "she believes" or something of the sort.
Ok
"As she matured into a apprentice she trained under her father proudly."--Knowing her father, why did her mother allow that?
Cause she was a spineless and subjective mother.
"Finally a couple other cats had succeeded"--It would make more sense if you removed "had".
Ok
"but for punishment the young warrior was ignored by her aunt and uncle,"--Passive tense. e.e
Sorry. ><
So if they ignored her, who named her?
She named herself.
I will work on the flaws tomorrow when I get some sleep. *hasnt had any in days* Also sorry about my horrible sarcasm I use it a lot when I'm half awake.
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