Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
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Post by Thistle on Jan 25, 2009 23:27:32 GMT -5
Okay now?
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Post by Ten on Jan 30, 2009 23:01:31 GMT -5
"her bold and sassy attitude"
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How'd she develop that if her father is harsh and her mother is timid?
And how does that "not mix well" with her mother's attitude - that is, how is there any clash if her mother isn't bold and sassy in return?
"He was killed by some rats while hunting; two had leaped on him and inflicted nasty bites"
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Why'd they do that?
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Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
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Post by Thistle on Jan 31, 2009 9:10:29 GMT -5
How'd she develop that if her father is harsh and her mother is timid?
--x--
Maybe she got it from another relative?
Why'd they do that?
--x--
Fixed.
And how does that "not mix well" with her mother's attitude - that is, how is there any clash if her mother isn't bold and sassy in return?
--x--
I think I fixed that too.
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Post by Ten on Jan 31, 2009 9:42:11 GMT -5
"Maybe she got it from another relative?"
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Who?
"they didn't get along that well for some reason."
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What reason?
"it had turned on him and nipped his dark tabby pelt. In his dying words he named her Shadestream"
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The wording here is a little strange, like he named the rat Shadestream.
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Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
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Post by Thistle on Feb 4, 2009 8:30:01 GMT -5
Who?
--x--
Maybe an uncle or something?
What reason?
--x--
Shadestream was too adventurous and reckless for her mother, and her mother always fretted and worried over her.
The wording here is a little strange, like he named the rat Shadestream.
--x--
I laughed at this.  I'll fix it.
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Post by Ten on Feb 7, 2009 1:01:20 GMT -5
"Maybe an uncle or something?"
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You make it sound like you don't know.
"Shadestream was too adventurous and reckless for her mother"
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What'd she do that was adventurous and reckless?
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Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
|
Post by Thistle on Feb 7, 2009 2:02:34 GMT -5
You make it sound like you don't know.
--x--
I don't.
What'd she do that was adventurous and reckless?
--x--
She wandered off when she was a very young kit, taunted experienced fighters as an apprentice, dared to snatch a lizard someone else was stalking and only got away because her father was there to back her up. Things like that.
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Post by Ten on Feb 7, 2009 8:57:18 GMT -5
"I don't."
--x
Then it didn't happen.
"taunted experienced fighters"
--x
So she's an idiot?
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Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
|
Post by Thistle on Feb 8, 2009 1:59:36 GMT -5
So she's an idiot?
--x--
No, just doesn't think before she speaks.
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Post by Ten on Feb 8, 2009 10:16:26 GMT -5
"No"
--x
So then, what has she done that's reckless or adventurous?
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