Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
|
Post by Thistle on Jan 25, 2009 23:27:32 GMT -5
Okay now?
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Jan 30, 2009 23:01:31 GMT -5
"her bold and sassy attitude" -- How'd she develop that if her father is harsh and her mother is timid? And how does that "not mix well" with her mother's attitude - that is, how is there any clash if her mother isn't bold and sassy in return?
"He was killed by some rats while hunting; two had leaped on him and inflicted nasty bites" -- Why'd they do that?
|
|
Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
|
Post by Thistle on Jan 31, 2009 9:10:29 GMT -5
How'd she develop that if her father is harsh and her mother is timid? --x-- Maybe she got it from another relative?
Why'd they do that? --x-- Fixed.
And how does that "not mix well" with her mother's attitude - that is, how is there any clash if her mother isn't bold and sassy in return? --x-- I think I fixed that too.
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Jan 31, 2009 9:42:11 GMT -5
"Maybe she got it from another relative?" -- Who?
"they didn't get along that well for some reason." -- What reason?
"it had turned on him and nipped his dark tabby pelt. In his dying words he named her Shadestream" -- The wording here is a little strange, like he named the rat Shadestream.
|
|
Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
|
Post by Thistle on Feb 4, 2009 8:30:01 GMT -5
Who? --x-- Maybe an uncle or something?
What reason? --x-- Shadestream was too adventurous and reckless for her mother, and her mother always fretted and worried over her.
The wording here is a little strange, like he named the rat Shadestream. --x-- I laughed at this. I'll fix it.
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Feb 7, 2009 1:01:20 GMT -5
"Maybe an uncle or something?" -- You make it sound like you don't know.
"Shadestream was too adventurous and reckless for her mother" -- What'd she do that was adventurous and reckless?
|
|
Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
|
Post by Thistle on Feb 7, 2009 2:02:34 GMT -5
You make it sound like you don't know. --x-- I don't.
What'd she do that was adventurous and reckless? --x-- She wandered off when she was a very young kit, taunted experienced fighters as an apprentice, dared to snatch a lizard someone else was stalking and only got away because her father was there to back her up. Things like that.
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Feb 7, 2009 8:57:18 GMT -5
"I don't." --x Then it didn't happen.
"taunted experienced fighters" --x So she's an idiot?
|
|
Thistle
Apprentice
noisy cricket {1}[M:0]
woah, so liek hai. 8D%\7\%
Posts: 358
|
Post by Thistle on Feb 8, 2009 1:59:36 GMT -5
So she's an idiot? --x-- No, just doesn't think before she speaks.
|
|
|
Post by Ten on Feb 8, 2009 10:16:26 GMT -5
"No" --x
So then, what has she done that's reckless or adventurous?
|
|