Greywhisker

[irae]

Role player| Irae, mainly.
_____

Name| Greywhisker

Gender| she-cat

Physical Description| She is a medium-sized grey cat with gold eyes and white markings on all four paws, her upper stomach, chest, and chin. Her nose is grey. Her whiskers have a grey base that eventually fade to white.

Views| Greywhisker is a loner, preferring to stay away from most others due to the fact that she believes that they have nothing but bad intentions for her. Because of that fact, she is completely against a clan. She doesn't want others to be watching her every move, or even put her to work. She would rather spend her days as a solitary figure, catching enough food to sustain herelf and relaxing out of the watch of others.

Kin| father - Shadepaw - deceased
mother - Lightheart - deceased

History| Greywhisker was born in the light season, a single kit after a hard pregnancy of her mother. Because this was the first kit, and the start of a family for Greywhisker's parents, her father was reluctant to leave her mother's side. The little food he caught went straight to Lightheart, leaving nothing for himself. When the time came that he could no longer find bugs to eat, he went off in search of larger prey. His longstanding hunger had affected his mind, and when he came across a rat, he attacked it alone, losing his life in the attempt. Greywhisker's mother went through the birth alone, nursing and caring for her kit through the grief of losing her mate. She taught Greywhisker how to hunt and how to treat others, but when Greywhisker began to leave home, and her, behind, she fell into her grief, and eventually died because of it. Greywhisker was grieved by the loss of her mother, she being her only true companion. Because of this, Greywhisker went and adopted a solitary existence, living on the edge of things and never truly belonging. She listened in on others' conversations to learn about the idea of clans. It was watching how the cats bickered and fought with each other over this simple idea that gave her the want to avoid clans altogether, seeing as they only brought about debates and fighting between the opposing views. Now she exists singly for her own survival, caring nothing for other people, and wishing nothing more than to be left unmolested as she goes about her days within the rock wall's confines.

Picture| Clickity

[Ten]

Welcome to Starless, Irae.

Greywhisker is a good name, but I'm afraid that prefix is taken. Then again, Modd has been inactive for a while, so you might get to keep it. I just sent out a mass email to all old scribes, and if she doesn't come back, it's all yours.


"Her nose is grey, along with her whiskers."
--
Can whiskers be grey?
I know there are white whiskers and black whiskers, but I don't think I've seen any grey. You?


"She rather spend" <-- would rather?

"catching enough food to sustain her," <-- no comma, and... sustain herself?


"Lack of food and water that season had driven her father to wander in search for food - a search from which he never came back."
--
How large are you imagining the enclosure as?


"The story that returned to her mother"
--
Who returned the story?


"was that he tried to take on a rat all on his own"
--
What's wrong with him?


"Greywhisker's mother went through the birth alone, nursing her kit until she was old enough to survive, and died of heartbreak soon after."
--
Rather convenient of her, don't you think? If you want her mother to die at news of her father's death, maybe she should be adopted by a foster mother.


"Because of this hard early life, Greywhisker was never taught much about what Clan life was,"
--
Who taught her how to hunt?


"Now she exists only to the help of herself,"
--
I'm a little confused by this phrasing. By the help of herself? With the help of herself?


The link only leads me to a dA search, not one picture. Intentional? o.o Anyway, with dA you need to make sure the artist/photographer has given permission for others to use the picture.


Well, I tried to go easy -- there were a couple of times I would have asked about changing the wording, but it was just tiny stuff that wouldn't make a difference (and that's just the compulsive editor in me) -- but for the most part I think you've got this down! The name you've picked is a good one, and her views and reasons for them make sense. The one concern I have is in regards to once you start role playing her, will she interact with the other characters? It sounds like she doesn't like to talk to anyone, being a loner.


"I've never read a warrior's book in my life"
--
That's probably a good thing. It's not required reading, and if you had read them first, you might have... well, you might have gotten the wrong idea about Starless. It's very different from the books here, and not just in terms of the setting and plot. I don't think you have to read them. If you want to, then I think you're most likely to enjoy them if you're in the preteen age bracket, about eight to twelve or so.

[irae]

"Greywhisker is a good name, but I'm afraid that prefix is taken. Then again, Modd has been inactive for a while, so you might get to keep it. I just sent out a mass email to all old scribes, and if she doesn't come back, it's all yours."
-
"Sounds good, I can always edit it if she returns."

---

"Can whiskers be grey?
I know there are white whiskers and black whiskers, but I don't think I've seen any grey. You?"
-
Whiskers can turn grey because of either stress or age. Since she had a stressful childhood, I thought that it would be an interesting trait to incorporate. I clarified it a little bit though.

---

"would rather?" && "no comma, and... sustain herself?"
-
fixed.

---

"How large are you imagining the enclosure as"
-
"I'm figuring it had to be large enough to fit at least thirty-some humanoid felines comfortably, so my guess would be a couple acres. To a cat, that could seem a lot. I was taking a blind stab at the area though."

---

"Who returned the story?"
-
"People talk, I figured she would have heard it that way, with the story being that he attacked the rat by himself."

---

"What's wrong with him?"
-
"The hunger drove him to partial insanity. I added that in. "

---

"Rather convenient of her, don't you think? If you want her mother to die at news of her father's death, maybe she should be adopted by a foster mother."
-
"I was going to, but for her to adopt a complete solitary life I didn't want her to have anyone for her to turn back to. I wished for her to be completely on her own. So instead, I fixed it by letting the mother carry the grief with her, surviving only to take care of Greywhisker until she could survive herself."

---

"Who taught her how to hunt?"
-
"Clarified."

---

"I'm a little confused by this phrasing. By the help of herself? With the help of herself?"
-
"Fixed, hopefully. It sounded weird to me too when I wrote it, but it was two in the morning and I couldn't think of any better words. "

---

"The link only leads me to a dA search, not one picture. Intentional? o.o Anyway, with dA you need to make sure the artist/photographer has given permission for others to use the picture."
-
"Fixed. And it's from the stock photos section of dA."

---

"The one concern I have is in regards to once you start role playing her, will she interact with the other characters? It sounds like she doesn't like to talk to anyone, being a loner
-
"Oh yes, she'll interact. She's been forced into the loner's life, and with all the fighting between cats that she's seen, she doesn't want to have to deal with it. I'm figuring that she'll slowly start to find out that others don't always fight, and that some can actually be nice. I just didn't want to write all that because it seems like writing an ending to a story that's supposed to remain open."

---

"I don't think you have to read them. If you want to, then I think you're most likely to enjoy them if you're in the preteen age bracket, about eight to twelve or so."
-
"Well, I'm eighteen, so it might be a bit out of my fun-to-read-books range. I remember hearing about them when I was... fourteen? or so, but was so into Harry Potter and such that I never picked them up. I wasn't sure if there was something that I was missing out on if I didn't read them. Good thing I know I'm not. (: "

[Ten]

"Whiskers can turn grey because of either stress or age. Since she had a stressful childhood, I thought that it would be an interesting trait to incorporate. I clarified it a little bit though."
--
aha. Alright then.


"I'm figuring it had to be large enough to fit at least thirty-some humanoid felines comfortably, so my guess would be a couple acres. To a cat, that could seem a lot. I was taking a blind stab at the area though."
--
I usually imagine it about the size of a football field, but that's about the idea. Anyway, the reason I was asking was because you made it sound big enough to get lost in ("a search from which he never came back"). I live on about five acres, and while that's a lot for a cat, I don't think they ever get lost. Since the landscape is pretty flat, I don't think he could just vanish, but maybe I misinterpreted how you meant this.


"The hunger drove him to partial insanity."
--
Before that point, he couldn't just get a group together and hunt with their help? That is, it's common for cats to form informal little hunting parties when it comes to rats. The cats don't even have to know each other, either. They just express a common interest, band up, and bring down a rat together, then maybe never talk again.


"I was going to, but for her to adopt a complete solitary life I didn't want her to have anyone for her to turn back to."
--
Right, good point.


"I wished for her to be completely on her own. So instead, I fixed it by letting the mother carry the grief with her, surviving only to take care of Greywhisker until she could survive herself."
--
mmkay.


"I'm figuring that she'll slowly start to find out that others don't always fight, and that some can actually be nice. I just didn't want to write all that because it seems like writing an ending to a story that's supposed to remain open."
--
Yeah, you're right. hm. I can think of a few of the nicer kitties she might like to get to know. :3


Harry Potter > Warriors.
All the way.
I remember enjoying them both, but the Hunters' writing (Erin Hunter = pen name for multiple writers) really lacked characterization and plot compared to Rowling's. Still, the concept is pretty cool, hence this site.

[irae]

"I usually imagine it about the size of a football field, but that's about the idea. Anyway, the reason I was asking was because you made it sound big enough to get lost in ("a search from which he never came back"). I live on about five acres, and while that's a lot for a cat, I don't think they ever get lost. Since the landscape is pretty flat, I don't think he could just vanish, but maybe I misinterpreted how you meant this."
-
"Well, he didn't just vanish, he got killed by a rat and either eaten (I don't know if they would get hungry enough to eat them, although I know some rats do eat meat) or dragged off to prevent disease. His body wasn't recovered, is pretty much what I meant."

---

"Before that point, he couldn't just get a group together and hunt with their help? That is, it's common for cats to form informal little hunting parties when it comes to rats. The cats don't even have to know each other, either. They just express a common interest, band up, and bring down a rat together, then maybe never talk again."
-
My idea would be that since he loved his mate so much, he didn't want to leave her side. Since food was scarce, anything he brought in would have gone to her to keep the kit alive. By the time he went to really search for food, his mind was gone from the hunger."

---

"
Harry Potter > Warriors.
All the way.
I remember enjoying them both, but the Hunters' writing (Erin Hunter = pen name for multiple writers) really lacked characterization and plot compared to Rowling's. Still, the concept is pretty cool, hence this site."
-
"Oh yes, Harry Potter is better than pretty much everything. The plot was completely covered, start to finish. I remember when the Warriors thing got big though, and everyone started a site. The only problem I'll have is understanding the normal vs. Warrior names. I get why they get the names they get, I'm just unsure of how the Warrior names fit in."

[Ten]

"His body wasn't recovered, is pretty much what I meant."
--
mmkay.


"I get why they get the names they get, I'm just unsure of how the Warrior names fit in."
--
Have you read any guides?


"Lack of food and water that season had driven her father, driven crazy by hunger, to wander in search for food - a search from which he never came back."
--
Looks like you've yet to modify this with the story you gave me. That is, it's a little unclear, the way it's written here. Try putting it in a more anecdotal format. He wouldn't leave his mate's side, then he got to hungry, and by the time he tried to hunt he'd lost all reason, etc.


"She taught Greywhisker how to hunt and how to treat others, but when Greywhisker began to leave home, and her, behind, she fell into her grief, and eventually died because of it."
--
This makes it sound like Greywhisker killed her by walking away. Does she feel any guilt about abandoning her?


"Because of this hard early life,"
--
Hard meaning without a father, or hard meaning guilty about her mother's death?


"Greywhisker was never taught much about what Clan life was,"
--
because... her mother decided not to tell her?


You can take out that note at the end of the bio now. ;3

[Nefeli]

Have you read any guides?
---
I just have to say, Ten, your guide is great! :3 Check it out, Irae. ^.^

[irae]

"Have you read any guides?"
-
"Yes, but I feel like it's something I'd have to see in action to really understand."

---

"Looks like you've yet to modify this with the story you gave me. That is, it's a little unclear, the way it's written here. Try putting it in a more anecdotal format. He wouldn't leave his mate's side, then he got to hungry, and by the time he tried to hunt he'd lost all reason, etc."
-
"Fixed, hopefully."

---

"This makes it sound like Greywhisker killed her by walking away. Does she feel any guilt about abandoning her?"
-
"Fixed. I made that the reason why she's solitary."

---

"Hard meaning without a father, or hard meaning guilty about her mother's death?"
-
"I just took it out altogether."

---

"because... her mother decided not to tell her?"
-
"I took this part out too, I figured that it would be understood that she'd tell her instead, and she made her own opinions on clans when she saw how others fought about them."