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Post by mia on May 14, 2010 4:21:15 GMT -5
Role player| Mia _____ Name| Od Gender| She-cat Physical Description| Od is a lean dilute calico cat with mostly white fur. She has bright amber eyes.She is a longed limb cat with a colorful coat. She has, being calico, pale orange, dark gray, and white markings. She has pale tabby markings only on her tail, but they aren't noticable from afar. Views| Od wants the clan to stay together, though she know they will continue their fights. She would like a leader. She has thought about it over again and again and thinks, even though some think leaders are betrayers, that it would be better for them to have someone to tell them the right thing to do. Od is very trustful and has some of the attributes of a leader, but she's doesn't want to be. Kin| Od's mother and father were Ratface and Darkheart. History| Od got her name based on her personality, because her mother thought she was very strange. She was too happy and trusted everyone, not what a cat in that day and age was supposed to do. What I mean by trusting is that shed didn't doubt anything anyone said, even if they were lying. Od started her training early, because Ratface thought she was in more danger than average, because how trusting she was. She woke early, so it wasn't so hot, as the late mornings usually are. She would train with her parents forever, until her mother or father said it was time to eat or rest. One day when she was training a rat wondered into the area and she tried attacking it, because she thought it was a play thing. Darkheart jumped in front of her though. He attacked it but the rat bit him, which inevitably killed him. Her mother, Ratface, soon died of dehydration. Picture|
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Post by Ten on May 15, 2010 7:52:29 GMT -5
"When in profile she seems like a long limbed cat" -- Is she?
"with an almost colorful coat." -- How is it "almost" colorful? She does have three colors, so I'd call that colorful.
"She has pale tabby markings," -- That makes her a patched tabby. See the prices on the right. However, I'm not sure if patched tabbies are rare enough to warrant that... You can negotiate with me if you find any information on them.
"Od wants the clan to stay together" -- You mean she wants it to reform. It's already fallen apart. So does she want a Clan because she wants a leader, or does she have another reason?
"but she's too shy to be an actual leader and doesn't want it." -- Doesn't want to be leader, you mean? Alright.
"Od's mother and father were ratface and darkheart." <-- capitalize names
"Ratface died of dehydration and darkheart died from a ratbite." -- This information goes in the History section.
"Od got her name because her mother thought she was very strange." -- The synonym for strange is spelled with two "d"s, odd.
"She was too happy and trusted everyone, not what a cat in that day and age was supposed to do." -- So she was named for her personality?
"Od started her training early, because Ratface thought she was in more danger than average, because how trusting she was." -- What made her so trusting? Just being a kit?
"it was hot but a little cold." -- ...it was warm?
"One day when she was training a rat wondered into the 'camp' " -- Her parents had claimed a territory?
"she tried attacking it" -- Does she have a brain disorder?
"Darkheart jumped in front of her though and got bit by the rat, which inevitably killed him." -- Why? Did he just stand there in its face? What's wrong with him?
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Gosh
Young Warrior
noisy cricket {1}[M:160]
Friends, as they say, may come and go, but high-powered laser weapons are forever.%\1\%
Posts: 791
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Post by Gosh on May 15, 2010 18:53:22 GMT -5
"One day when she was training a rat wondered into the area and she tried attacking it, because she thought it was a play thing." -- I'm sorry, but a rat is probably going to be like, snarling and stuff. I think it'd probably scare any kit - unless she's mentally retarded?
"What I mean by trusting is that shed didn't doubt" -- You probably should leave out the 'What I mean', and there's an extra d at the end of she that you should fix.
"She is a longed limb cat" -- I'm thinking long-limbed, instead of longed limb? Actually, I'd advise just saying 'She has long limbs.'
Odd has two d's.
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Post by Ten on May 15, 2010 19:17:30 GMT -5
Hey, Mia? Would you please post answers to my questions? I'm not just here to tell you to fix stuff. This is supposed to be a dialogue -- we discuss the character together. :3 Read about the process here. You can also look at some accepted bios if you want.
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Post by mia on May 15, 2010 19:40:32 GMT -5
Oh i thought you told me what to fix and i'm supposed to fix it. I already did, but um should I just tell you what I did on the app?
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Post by Ten on May 15, 2010 22:35:20 GMT -5
No, that's okay. I'll read it again and we'll just start over. I'll post some questions, then you post the answers, and only change what you think you have to, mmkay? And if you're not sure, you can always ask.
Trust me; you'll get the hang of this quick. ;D
"She has pale tabby markings only on her tail" -- hm... I don't think I've seen a tabby whose markings were limited to one area (except for there not being stripes on white markings, of course). Are you familiar with this pattern?
"Od wants the clan to stay together," -- She wants the clan to reform, you mean. Why?
"Od is very trustful and has some of the attributes of a leader," -- What attributes of a leader does she have?
"but she's doesn't want to be." <-- doesn't want to be one
"Od got her name based on her personality," -- This poses a problem. In order for her to have enough of a personality to base a name on, she'd have to be a more than several days old. Why didn't her mother name her as a newborn?
"because she thought it was a play thing." -- A play thing? What do you mean by that?
"Darkheart jumped in front of her though. He attacked it but the rat bit him," -- Why did he attack it? Wait, nevermind. Don't answer that. Why did the rat get so close to her?
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Post by mia on May 15, 2010 23:13:53 GMT -5
No, that's okay. I'll read it again and we'll just start over. I'll post some questions, then you post the answers, and only change what you think you have to, mmkay? And if you're not sure, you can always ask. Trust me; you'll get the hang of this quick. ;D "She has pale tabby markings only on her tail" -- hm... I don't think I've seen a tabby whose markings were limited to one area (except for there not being stripes on white markings, of course). Are you familiar with this pattern? "Od wants the clan to stay together," -- She wants the clan to reform, you mean. Why? "Od is very trustful and has some of the attributes of a leader," -- What attributes of a leader does she have? "but she's doesn't want to be." <-- doesn't want to be one "Od got her name based on her personality," -- This poses a problem. In order for her to have enough of a personality to base a name on, she'd have to be a more than several days old. Why didn't her mother name her as a newborn? "because she thought it was a play thing." -- A play thing? What do you mean by that? "Darkheart jumped in front of her though. He attacked it but the rat bit him," -- Why did he attack it? Wait, nevermind. Don't answer that. Why did the rat get so close to her? 1) Yes. Actually on two of the cats i've had (Ods pic is actually one of them) they only have stripes on certain places. Flower (the calico) only has tabby markings on her tail. Same with almond, a brown and white cat. Almond only has very faint, barely noticable tabby markings on her tail. 2)She wants the clan to reform because she knows the clan will be stronger that way. And because she doesn't like the fighting anyways. She's more laid back in the fighting sense. 3)The attributes she has are patience, understanding, and compassion. 4)About the name I just thought of that name. I can change it to Flower, to match her coat color? But then again I don't think flowers grow where they live, do they? 5)A play thing as in cats always practice their hunting skills and they practice by playing. She was young and didn't see this as dangerous. 6)The rat came through a crack that actually they were practicing by. It's more like Od got close to it.
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Post by Ten on May 15, 2010 23:39:47 GMT -5
"1) Yes. Actually on two of the cats i've had (Ods pic is actually one of them) they only have stripes on certain places. Flower (the calico) only has tabby markings on her tail. Same with almond, a brown and white cat. Almond only has very faint, barely noticable tabby markings on her tail." -- Do you have pictures of both these cats' tails and foreheads? "She wants the clan to reform because she knows the clan will be stronger that way." -- ...You mean she wants the clan to reform because the cats will be stronger together than they are when they're disorganized? What do you mean by stronger? "The attributes she has are patience, understanding, and compassion." -- How has she expressed those in the past? "About the name I just thought of that name. I can change it to Flower, to match her coat color? But then again I don't think flowers grow where they live, do they?" -- No, they don't... There are some available prefixes on the names thread. I think Sprinkle would sound cute for her, but there are others to choose from. "A play thing as in cats always practice their hunting skills and they practice by playing." -- Then what is a play thing? Another kit? "The rat came through a crack that actually they were practicing by." -- Adult rats aren't that small. "It's more like Od got close to it." -- How old was she again? Old enough to be training, right?
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Post by mia on May 16, 2010 20:46:19 GMT -5
"1) Yes. Actually on two of the cats i've had (Ods pic is actually one of them) they only have stripes on certain places. Flower (the calico) only has tabby markings on her tail. Same with almond, a brown and white cat. Almond only has very faint, barely noticable tabby markings on her tail." -- Do you have pictures of both these cats' tails and foreheads? "She wants the clan to reform because she knows the clan will be stronger that way." -- ...You mean she wants the clan to reform because the cats will be stronger together than they are when they're disorganized? What do you mean by stronger? "The attributes she has are patience, understanding, and compassion." -- How has she expressed those in the past? "About the name I just thought of that name. I can change it to Flower, to match her coat color? But then again I don't think flowers grow where they live, do they?" -- No, they don't... There are some available prefixes on the names thread. I think Sprinkle would sound cute for her, but there are others to choose from. "A play thing as in cats always practice their hunting skills and they practice by playing." -- Then what is a play thing? Another kit? "The rat came through a crack that actually they were practicing by." -- Adult rats aren't that small. "It's more like Od got close to it." -- How old was she again? Old enough to be training, right? 1) That's flower. Look at her head, the common tabby M mark? That's the only place she has it. All the rest she has sold creme or dark gray patches. On her tail she does has a splotched cream and gray tail though. That's almond, or part of her lol. She has tabby stripes on her tail. Oh and I just noticed she does indeed have faint tabby markings on her upper legs, but thats it. These are other pictures that tell you that both cats have otherwise solid patterns. 2)Stronger as in when together they will be stronger? Like protecting themselves. 3)She's always been looking after other cats(compassion), she used to wait patiently for things. like she never got impatient? i dunno the answer to that one to well. 4)sprinkle? no, too...bright for me 5)Haven't you ever heard of that saying? cats tackle anything that moves usually. a piece of string could be a play thing. I think that's what your asking. 6)I don't know how big the cracks are so thats why I said that. 7)Not really. Her parents pushed her, so she was around 4 months (moons--i don't know what they use for age here) old.
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Post by Ten on May 16, 2010 21:30:16 GMT -5
"That's flower. Look at her head, the common tabby M mark? That's the only place she has it. All the rest she has sold creme or dark gray patches. On her tail she does has a splotched cream and gray tail though. That's almond, or part of her lol. She has tabby stripes on her tail. Oh and I just noticed she does indeed have faint tabby markings on her upper legs, but thats it. These are other pictures that tell you that both cats have otherwise solid patterns." -- The M marking identifies a tabby... but those markings could be just residual. hm. Since you have two, calicoes of this type can't be rare. Do you have any ideas about how common they are? I might change the price.
"Stronger as in when together they will be stronger? Like protecting themselves." -- From what?
"She's always been looking after other cats" -- How so?
"sprinkle? no, too...bright for me" -- Haha. I know what you mean. x) What prefixes are you considering?
"Haven't you ever heard of that saying?" -- ...plaything? I've heard the term, yes.
"cats tackle anything that moves usually. a piece of string could be a play thing. I think that's what your asking." -- They don't have pieces of string, though, so I was wondering where she would have learned this concept of toys. I would expect a young kitten to be afraid of a rat.
"Not really. Her parents pushed her, so she was around 4 months (moons--i don't know what they use for age here) old." -- Are her parents insensitive? Around that age, kittens are loosing their baby teeth, and they should wait until they're older to start training.
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