We need to talk.

[duckyaisha]

Rainstripe anticipated that what she was about to say next would cause at least some controversy. While some, like Speckledclaw, might see the necessity of killing Grimykit, Drabheart might be against the idea. He seemed frail, both physically and emotionally. She had seen that he was scared even of the very idea of fighting. The only reason, at least in her mind, that a cat would try to avoid every fight, even for a cause they believe in, is the lack of fighting ability. Cats without that skill would obviously be more inclined to choose peace. As much as she wanted to kill Grimykit, the idea that Drabheart might think of her as the same type of evil cat as Grimykit was enough to make her second- guess the idea she had thought so perfect, sound. Drabheart was her friend, one of the only ones she had, and losing his trust was one of the last things she wanted to do. The Other paced impatiently in her mind, trying to nudge the idea towards the front of her mind, hoping she would forget about Drabheart and get on with killing Grimykit. But it was a dangerous game it was playing. If Rainstripe suspected that the Other was trying to get her to comply she would immediately refuse. Eventually, Rainstripe decided that the prospect of life without the Other was greater than the risk of losing Drabheart.
"Grimykit has killed, and he may kill again. To protect the lives of other cats, he must be killed."

[Ten]

ooc| Ya lahwy. 8x Earlier, when I found out what Rainstripe wanted to do, I was going to have Frozenheart suspect it was just the Other pushing that idea. Now that it turns out it really is the Other, I'm afraid it would seem like he knows what he can't have known. ><

bic|

After Rainstripe stood up, Frozenheart stretched his front legs and moved to a better position to view the conversation. She seemed more confident now. That was good. Would it last? Would Speckledclaw's gruff demeanor help her or intimidate her? Although he knew Speckledclaw meant well, she--

Mulling over other thoughts, Rainstripe's sudden proposal shocked him. He narrowed his blue eyes and stepped forward to sniff her face. This couldn't be Rainstripe he was looking at. Could it?

He doubted she would want to kill him herself, and he looked to Speckledclaw, hoping she wouldn't go along with a murder plot. He counted on Drabheart not to, and even though Frozenheart was not fond of Grimykit, he was not fond of killing cats either. It was the Other that relished kills. This would strengthen it for sure.

The tom twitched his whiskers with a scowl and drew back from Rainstripe, rejecting her assertion. She couldn't really think that was a good idea. She wouldn't really try to kill anyone. She couldn't.

[Cloud]

Drabheart could not believe what he was hearing. Rainstripe? Kill a cat? How could she? True, there were some evil cats out there...but that didn't mean they deserved to die. Killing was never the answer. Punishment, maybe, but never killing. Whoever this Grimykit was, if he was a murderer, a persuader - whatever, he didn't deserve to die. Even the most wretched criminal didn't deserve to die. But how could he say that?

But then...would this really protect other lives? What had Grimykit done? Was it right to kill if you saved more lives by doing it? The poor tom's head spun at the questions. What was right and what was wrong?

But if everyone died anyway...no, it was BECAUSE everyone died anyway that they shouldn't kill. Cats had no right to make something natural unnatural. It was wrong, sick, twisted. He opened his mouth - then shut it again. But...if this Grimykit had already broken that sacred law, then did he deserve to be forgiven? Drabheart knew that he could never look a murderer in eye, never trust them, never be their friend.

But murder wasn't the answer to that problem...unless it was, because the murderer had already killed, so was this just making it even?

He didn't know. Moaning, he shook his head and laid down beside Frozenheart and Rainstripe. Then he realized Speckledclaw had come and had asked how to help. He wondered if he should speak up...or if he'd just make everything worse. No, he had to get his words out, even if they caused trouble, or it would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"I...I don't think killing is the answer. If we do, we're just as bad as this...Grimykit. But...he should be punished. Then...then he'll understand that he shouldn't kill. He'll know...know that pain. We need to...make him understand it's wrong. That the life of a cat is something precious, something that only nature has the right to take away. Even if he doesn't listen, we have to try...because murder is never the answer."

[Darky [Megan]]

Speckledclaw was also taken aback by Rainstripe's suggestion. Indeed it seemed that the entire gory business had affected her greatly, for this was the timid she-cat she had seen shy away from the smallest of strangers. Her yellow-green eyes narrowed sharply as she analysed the situation.

First, she would address Drabheart. She turned to the tom, speaking with a bit of her characteristic snappishness; "I think Rainstripe would prob'ly agree that I've already tried and failed to punish that mousebrain. When 'e took the life of that other cat, there was terrible bloodlust in his eyes. I doubt that tom could be persuaded to change 'is ways now, and I'll be stoned if I even wanted to try. That cat 'as no sense of morality. He's as skewed as they come.

"That bein' said," and now she looked at Rainstripe, her tone gentling without her knowledge, "It's pretty obvious your head's in a pretty messed up place at the moment, and that's what we're worried about righ' now. Why drag Grimykit into this? Do you think taking his life would 'elp you in any way?" She sat up straighter, and her tone sharpened a little. "Murderin's a nasty business. Actually doin' it could even be more traumatisin' than watching it 'appen, regardless if what you saw was justified or not. While I'd love to be the one to take Grimykit down - and that's just because I don't think there's any 'ope left for the boy - it wouldn't be moral. Killin' someone else means killin' off a part of yerself; I don't think it would 'elp you so much as drag you down further."

[duckyaisha]

Even Frozenheart had drawn back from her, thinking her idea was wrong. A sharp stab of pain pierced her heart like a bolt of lightning. She had expected timid Drabheart to refuse, but not Frozenheart! It hurt her to see her best friend, the one cat she could always trust, looking at her like she was a monster. This time it wasn't the Other's doing. Frozenheart was actually scared of her, of Rainstripe. This came as such a shock to the she-cat that her legs gave out and she sat down hard. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Frozenheart acted as her moral guide, telling her what was right and wrong, aiding her recovery after any particularly traumatizing event. His rejection of her idea made her wonder whether or not she shoudl go through with it, questioning herself yet again.

It was hard to describe, but when she searched deeper into her mind to find out where the idea had come from, she felt a strange sense of forboding, like she didn't really want to know. This feeling, the instictive sense that something was not right, prevented her from searching further into the origins of the idea, like a cat who can tell if a rat has a sickness it can pass on to them. On one paw, the fact that thinking about it gave her a weird feeling was proof that the others were right and it wasn't a good idea. On the other, how else could she banish the Other from her head forever?

That was it! That was what made her feel weird, like something wasn't quite right. She was mentally broadcasting her plans to kill the Other, and it wasn't responding, not positively or negatively. Usually the Other had something to say about every pawstep she took, trying to force her to do something else. Usually, Rainstripe and the Other were locked in a mental tug-of-war, each vying for control of one body. The fac that it was so unnaturally silent just didn't make sense, especially since she was planning to kill it. Wouldn't it be objecting right about now? She poked and prodded it, but it stayed silent. She could almost see the ghosts of words around it, words it wanted to say, but for some reason held back.

The whole situation was strange, but she couldn't think about that now. Perhaps the Other simply knew that its own demise was fast approaching and didn't think it could do anything to stop it, though that would be quite uncharacteristic of the thing. That didn't matter as much as convincing these three that killing Grimykit might lead to her freedom.

"You know about the Other," she began, voice trembling as she forced herself to look into their disapproving eyes. "I hate it." The venom in her voice surprised even her, but she continued. "And I would do anything, anything for freedom. You don't know what it's like!" Her mew was now a loud yowl of desperation. "To have something else living in that most private place, your head, reading the thoughts you stowed away for safekeeping because you didn't want to think about them, bringing your darkest memories up to the surface of your mind and waking you up screaming in the middle of the night because in your sleep you thought those memories were real! Someone else urging you to maul a cricket, lizard, rat, cat even, just because it loves the smell of blood. The worst part, oh the worst part is when I'm forced to do what it tells me and the line between us blurs and twists and for a little bit, I can barely tell we're different people. For a second, we are one and the same, and that's what scares me the most. I got this thing in my head when Grimykit killed Branchkit, and the only way to get rid of it is to eliminate the source!"

[Cloud]

The tabby was torn by his friend's words. He felt such sympathy for her - but yet he knew that killing wasn't the answer. Moved by impulse, he got up and nuzzled her gently, just to reassure her that he was still her friend and understood her desperation.

But he had to make her see that this wasn't the answer. Drabheart could understand why she thought this - in one way, it made sense - but he had to convince her otherwise. Even Speckledclaw knew it was a bad idea. They all had to make her see.

"Speckledclaw's right." Even if the she-cat had been a little rude, it was probably out of concern for Rainstripe. "Though I disagree that Grimykit's hopeless - I believe no cat is hopeless - murder's not right. It is killing a part of ourselves, another being just like us. I know, you think this will kill the Other. But think about it for a moment. Why would killing a cat kill something that lives in your own mind? Maybe he caused it to happen, maybe he didn't. But what I do know is that the Other does violent things, things you'd never do, and I think that it wants you to kill Grimykit, so it can take over you." He looked at her with serious green eyes. Maybe he was wrong, but he was pretty sure his guesses were close to the truth, if not it.

[Ten]

ooc| stoned, not damned, Darky. :3

And Ducky, sorry if I didn't make this clear -- he's shocked, but not afraid. Of course, it's no stretch for Rain to be a little hysterical, and since Drabheart is afraid, she might project that onto Froze, too.

bic|


Although Frozenheart agreed with Drabheart and Speckledclaw, Rainstripe's speech pierced his heart. She was right about at least one thing: none of them knew what it was like. She was in such pain, so convinced of what she had to do, that for a moment he wondered if she would feel better with Grimykit dead. What good was that filthy whelp doing the enclosure anyway? Even if Grimykit never killed again, there were sure to be other things he would try for as long as he lived, so it seemed for the general good to cut his life short. Murder was a dirty business, but sometimes dirty business was necessary.

Frozenheart narrowed his eyes at Drabheart for claiming no cat was hopeless. He didn't know Grimykit. Still, watching him speak reminded him that killing Grimykit might not kill the Other, and that was their priority. They had to at least consider other options. With Rainstripe so set on murder as the solution, Frozenheart looked to the practical Speckledclaw -- did she have any other ideas that might work?

[duckyaisha]

Rainstripe was used to physcal affection from Frozenheart, and always assumed it was because he had no words to convey his feelings. She had also assumed that two cats needed to be as close as her and Frozenheart to nuzzle, groom, or simply rub against one another. Drabheart hadn't acted like he wanted to be her friend- quite the opposite, as he was absolutely terrified of her when the Other possessed her mind- though she couldn't blame him, as that little episode had scared her out of her fur as well. But she didn't think he really cared about her, and thought he saw her as a cat too mentally unsound to have even as an aquaintance.

The fact that he was showing his support in such a way, even if it was just a little nuzzling, did wonders for her anguished spirit. All the worries, the fears, the unnecessary thoughts that she had been straining under for so long melted away like frost in the morning sun. Simple gestures could go a long way with a cat as unstable as Rainstripe. This one display of solidarity and comfort, for example, made her realize that Drabheart could become just as important in her life as Frozenheart. A sweeping ocean of relief washed over her as she decided that if such a timid cat could touch her, she must not be such a monster after all.

The Other itself, though it was the antagonist of this discussion and should have been a little more worried, as they were planning how to kill it, was as lazy and calm as it had been since taking her over. A tremor ran down her spine each time she thought of that, and while normally the Other would jump at the chance and send even more sickening memories into her already damaged mind, it was quiet. Unsettlingly so. Her fur prickled with unease as she thought about it; she got the feeling that she was missing something essential, but she had no idea what it was. Still, when one got that strange feeling it was best not to ignore it.

The Other noticed this and tried to distract her by sending glimpses of the murder into her mind, but it was still recovering from the possession and couldn't do much more. The images were blurry and the sounds were distorted, making it almost impossible for Rainstripe to be affected. Besides, she was so focused on Drabheart's comforting touch, soothing as that of her own mother, that unnatural feeling, and the words of the other cats that she barely noticed, and she didn't recognize the flashes of memory for what they were.

Maybe Drabheart would have an answer. She tilted her head upward and listened intently to his speech, the Other ineffectively trying to distract her. It knew what Drabheart was going to say, and it knew that Rainstripe would believe him. What the tom said made sense somewhat, so she focused even more. It was then that he said the words that made her feel like she had been slammed in the head by a cat larger than Frozenheart.

"I think that /it/ wants you to kill Grimykit so it can take over you."

This simple sentence sent her mind reeling. A thousand thoughts were instantly born and they buzzed around her head, banging into each other and disappearing and reappearing until her mind was so muddled that she could only make sense of the basic emotions. Shock, of course. Fear. Rage. Confusion. Her muscles wobbled, and then failed completely so she slammed down hard on the sandy ground. The pain might as well have never existed for all the attention she gave it.

The Other was much trickier than she had thought, planting this idea in her mind like the egg of an insect, letting it grow and grow until it shed its shell, grew wings, and completely dominated her thoughts. She had thought she had an idea that would lead to its demise, and only now did she realize that she had barely avoided her own. Now she knew what the uneasy feeling had been. It was the instinctive knowledge that something was off about this, that the two sides didn't add up.

After she had untangled the mess of thoughts in her head, after the seething pot of feelings and ideas had evaporated, only one emotion was left. Despair. She had been so close, she had grasped the prey in her claws, and now it had miraculously escaped, bounding away to the safety of the world outside. What was there to live for now that she would always have that monstrosity living inside her head? Never a moment's peace, never alone, ever, for even when she thought it was gone, it was only lurking in the shadows.

Her life was well and truly over. She was still alive, but she would never have a mate, nor kits. How could she, when they would all be in danger from the Other's violence? Imagine, having kits just to be forced to kill them. Never, never, she couldn't let that be the life of any kit unfortunate enough to be born to her. She would live alone, most likely become insane. But wasn't she already? Was her mind not so far beyond its breaking point that she couldn't see it when she looked behind? Perhaps she should die. It would be better for everyone.

The Other leaped on this mental weakness, feeding on it, growing stronger with every negative thought she spawned. Though its ruse hadn't worked, it had still managed to push her almost to mental collapse. It bombarded her mind with memories, not of the specific day, but of things she had done under its control. Mutilating that rat and those lizards. Lashing out at cats for no reason whatsoever. Trying to attack Woodstripe, hearing that voice of ice come out of her mouth.
/I control you/ The words echoed inside the now-emptiness of her mind. /You cannot resist. You are mine./

She screamed, a loud trembling yowl that shook the very enclosure. Her body shook violently as she curled into a ball, trying to kill it, kill it, kill it! "I want you gone! Go away, go away!" There was no difference between what she said out loud and what she said in her mind. Agony and anguish wracked her body and mind as she tried to resist, tried to force it back, but it was too powerful at this point. The world shrank down to her and the Other as she struggled, screamed, forgetting that the other three cats were still there.

[Cloud]

Whatever fear he might've felt evaporated in the face of the obvious pain and torment his friend was in. Caution was thrown aside as he jumped down beside her, murmuring into her ears: "It's okay, I'm here, we can kill it. Somehow. I know we can. Because deep down you're just you, and the Other is something evil that invaded your true self. So it can be destroyed." He lay next to the gray tabby, licking her shoulder quietly.

[Ten]

ooc| Duckyyy. So literate. o-o

bic|

Frozenheart stepped back and wondered if he should go away. He sure wasn't doing anybody any good anymore. As Drabheart rushed to comfort Rainstripe, the white tom began to pace alongside the wall, re-immersing himself in the mental rummage for a way to end this. This he did know: the Other fed off destruction. It was born of it. Perhaps, then, they could destroy it with new life?

Frozenheart didn't know of any queens who would be willing to risk their litter for one cat's sanity, but he remembered meeting Amberkit, who, though cheerful, was not accompanied by anyone and did not appear to have a family -- at least not an attentive one. He wondered how the Other would react to a kit, whether it would drive Rainstripe to hurt it, how in the walls anything could frown upon a wide-eyed ball of fur.

Perhaps he was naive. Perhaps he was stupid. Perhaps insanity was contagious. Frozenheart thought he could protect Amberkit from the Other.

He could not fathom how the Other would be capable of harming a little kit and expected it to shy away from one, but if somehow Rainstripe succumbed to it again, she would not be able to get through him and kill Amberkit. So, thinking it a feasible idea, he turned and faced Rainstripe and Drabheart. A lift of his paw indicated something short, something small -- but larger than a lizard. It was not his best attempt at communication, that was sure. However, his mind was not on how they would understand, but how he could find Amberkit, and a stern determination shone in his blue eyes.